one of my big things when i was a kid was i hated being watched, id turn all my barbies and other dolls heads around so they werent looking at me, but nothing coukd stop the discomfort of god's omniscient eyes on me, seeing me in my underwear and cami- it felt gross

i wonder if my social anxiety and general anxiety around being watched would have been as bad if i wasnt raised christian 🧐

I need to log off. Please help me.

guys is it gonna get better

i think atp i rlly need to get back on meds... maybe i cant rawdog this... but ughh its expensive and itll take me 4 hours to cum and ill be paranoid that itll interact with the weed and damage me faster

i hate that i cant yell at the person im angry at anymore cause im trying to be healthier

my irl friends set my standard of friendship so high theres only like two online friends i get excited to talk to anymore and even then its waning a bit

i love weed

taking ashit ton of benadryl and masturvatung so the demon at the end of my bed can watch #ethicalexhibitionsism

nvm im actually good

would it be evil of me to not leave a note

i cant fucking do this anymore

i hate being autistic so much

IM GONAN FUCKING KILL MYSELFFRRFFF

i cant wait to die

can we all quit our jobs and just start stealing our groceries guys like can we do something abt our horrific fuckjng government pls

i wish i was in love

nvm its back

nvm im chill im gonna dye my hair blue

the problem with the wanting to kill myself is that im too lazy to write a note

i geel liek all i fucking do is mess everything up like why why is anyone even friends with me

god im so fucking annoying

am i cooked

the problem with this tho is when they dont check on me then im like oh so you rlly hate me...

the way im also a fucking liar too cause one of them literally did but i was so disconnected i didnt want to talk to anyone and also i wanted them to worry abt me the longer i didnt answer

i love how my internet friends don't check up on me

Dude can we please stop tossing the rslur out casually. Can we stop having it be a normal thing. Can we actually drive the edgy losers and posers out of our spaces or were we just pretending to care about disabled people

do ppl even die by bleeding out in the bath anymore

i should just destroy everything fuck this world i should just wreck it before everyone gets the chance to wreck me

it rlly feels like theres no point

i think the biggest root of my problem is that existence in unpredictable my feelings and emotions are unpredictable my moods and energy is undpredictable and because im autistc its so much more incredibly frustrating and disabling because the unpredictablity is the same amount of stress as the-

who up panicking over the gap between ideals and reality

is our friendship ruined forever

im so fucking angry why do i have to go thru this how do i stop caring

i didnt have it in or near water either but there was this liquid(not water) in the fucking plastic part of the boxcutter but i thought it woukd dry up by itself or smth like

i hste wishing someone cared more

what the fuck ever

im literally a fucking loser oh my god lmao

and i have a therapy appt tomorrow but i fucking hate talking abt what im going through and idek how to explain it im just so angry and hurt and ughhhhhhh

im so tired and angry and my FUCKING blade that i got TWO DAYS AGO is ALREADY RUSTED im genuinely gonna give up

should i kill myself

GOD IM SO STUPID I CANT STOP MASTURBATING AND NOW I ONLY HAVE 5 HRS OF SLEEP I CAN GET EVEN THO I KNEW I WAS USING TOO MUCH OF MY TIME LEFT TO SLEEP

hwo do i do things

does anyone else feel like they groomed themself into liking weirder things to get off to. isnt this type of progression indicative a porn addiction ? what is this...

i rlly wish i could survey a large group of people at any given time for research

My biggest fear is being ignored. I am a mechanical angel powered by digital input, so if no one gives me input. I will fall apart and plummet to the depths of cyberspace. Surrounded only by the cold and malice, I will surely turn into a corrupt, fallen angel.

i rlly wish cutting wasnt so demonized cause i want to wear them like accessories. and i could cut in more than one place. i jabbed my shin witch scissors when i was cutting my tights for the distressed look yk and the blood is just so pretty i want more

it is not the end of the world

literally everything comes and goes its okay