ive returned...

i wish nothing had an expiration date

okay im leaving today wish me luck guys

going into residential means i wont be able to masturbate for a month

yk ur mental health is getting better when the sun peeking thru ur window feels nice and calming

god my new meds make me sooooooo restless and antsy and anxious ugghgh

i feel better today i think life actually can be good if u try ur hardest not to think about the past or the future

Repost to 86 ko-fi since stripe has dropped me. Partner & I (both queer, trans, very auDHD) are moving to a safer rental in June. Doing it ourselves with no aid. Still need to rent a truck. Heavy debt, no savings, low income. Please help/share. More info + links in replies. #mutualaid #helpsky

Me when the avoidant attachment avoids attachment

how am i supposed to even want to be alive in todays world

nvm we're good

when i daydream normally i do already feel far from my body, but at the same time its hard to tell if its different from when i daydream maladaptively in a way that leaves me stuck for hours on end and so disconnected from my body

maladaptive daydreaming while high>>>

ill never forget one of the times i went to the mental hospital the guy doing my intake was like "hows your memory?" and i was like "short term or long term?" and hes like "you dont have long term memory" as if long term memory was an age thing like hello

smth happened

guys what di u think is worse: feeling nothing at all or feeling extremely intense negative feelings ?

how to know if ive fucked up a friendship forever or im just being stupid

what do i do

i hate being such a hypocrite

god i hate trying to get better cause i got high for the first time in a minute cause i was trying not to associate the weed with better feelings cause im prob going ti residential treatment soon cause its so fucking bad i hate myself so much and unfortunately some ppl want me alive so i have to-

when i leave because im afraid they dont care and they actually dont care

more cuts #shbsky

i jsut wanna die so fucking bad whyyyy whyy whyw hey hwy wyyw wuywhbwuwhyehheywhhwh

why does anxiety have to come with chest pain i always feel like im going to explode and die

i rlly dont deserve to be alive and i dont deserve friends and im so fucking embarrassing and stupid idk why my friends dont just tell me to die already

i wish no one cared abt me so its be easier to kms

pleaseeeee will someone just fucking shoot me

why do i wqnt to self sabotage so bad

i need to die like acfulyl

everything fucking hurts so much why the fuck did this have to happen to me

i rlly wabt onion ribgs

i coudlnt go thru with it tonight heres some cat scratches and some styros that arent being picked up well enoigh

writing the note is crunge but cathartic cause now im just telling my dad all the reasons i will neve ebe able to say i love you to him

execurive dysfunxtion so vad i cant even write mt suicide notw

i rlly dont want to be alive

one of my big things when i was a kid was i hated being watched, id turn all my barbies and other dolls heads around so they werent looking at me, but nothing coukd stop the discomfort of god's omniscient eyes on me, seeing me in my underwear and cami- it felt gross

i wonder if my social anxiety and general anxiety around being watched would have been as bad if i wasnt raised christian 🧐

guys is it gonna get better

i think atp i rlly need to get back on meds... maybe i cant rawdog this... but ughh its expensive and itll take me 4 hours to cum and ill be paranoid that itll interact with the weed and damage me faster

i hate that i cant yell at the person im angry at anymore cause im trying to be healthier

my irl friends set my standard of friendship so high theres only like two online friends i get excited to talk to anymore and even then its waning a bit

i love weed

taking ashit ton of benadryl and masturvatung so the demon at the end of my bed can watch #ethicalexhibitionsism

nvm im actually good

would it be evil of me to not leave a note

i cant fucking do this anymore

i hate being autistic so much

IM GONAN FUCKING KILL MYSELFFRRFFF

i cant wait to die