i’m something of a radical guy myself

i wish it was socially acceptable to repost my whole profile

don’t smoke the shit from the elf in the ren faire parking lot. had me geeking. i spent $300 on turtle races. i’ve been given a warlock’s curse. i’ve consumed an entire emu’s worth of turkey legs

ugh what the fuck is this taste? is this my own medicine? you know i hate that

speeding down 610 pressing down on my horn like it’s a nitrous button in a fast and furious movie

starting a Medieval Times fantasy league

taking a 200mg edible and visiting the slowest, most colorful car wash i can find

trying to look more nonchalant by smugly shrugging my shoulders every fifteen seconds

floating through the air like a cartoon character when i smell the joint

tbh it was pretty self important of everyone to assume the whole world was ending in 2000

how are you leaving literal grime on the toilet seat, for the love of god please wash your ass

woke US military be like: ask, tell

crazy that 4/20 is on 4/20 this year

allorubbing on the plug to show him i missed him

*most insufferable guy you’ve ever met voice* yeah i’ve been thinking ab picking up the shamisen

dr pepper haters are so cringe. “ohh bbq water, dr pepper lovers are in a cult” ok Señor Soft Drink just because you have the palate of a 10 year old and can’t handle more than 2 flavor profiles at a time doesn’t make it my problem

having a water feature in my living room would fix me

wentsday

learning the riff from Bad to the Bone and playing it everytime my friend takes a drag from his cigarette

i’m Gucci down to my chastity belt

serving mashed potatoes al dente

shine bright like a hymen or whatever Rihanna said

guy who attends pride parades just to cross his arms and slowly shake his head the whole time

@larianstudios.com pls let me in to the stress test, i’ll send you 5 US dollars

*showing up to a funeral in shorts* wtf? i thought it was business casual day

so called “free thinkers” when a new Sims pack is teased

everyone looking at the new Discord UI

closeted eugenicists love the Sims

sorry i haven’t been posting, my apartment building was hit by a nuclear explosion

they call me sour dough

listened to a whole album tonight just because the cover was funny

in desperate need of a rocking chair

my many personal confidants speak your name with disdain

Alexandria was probably pissed about all her books

i think one or two more vertebrae would fix my back pain

*passing the blunt to an ape at the zoo* do you think we could be distantly related

showing up to the function with large stones tied to the bottom of my feet

god i love being unproblematic

-took a bat and just started swinging, but for some reason, someone filled all the piñatas with lit candles?? so yeah thats why i’m not allowed at the lantern festival anymore

moth walking into Home Depot’s lighting section: holy shit..

nature called and she was pissed

banks aren’t real. “hi yes can i please get a money order” wtf are we even saying

can i go to Timbuktu if i haven’t seen the first one

what if Kirby took Ozempic

locking my car door every time a middle-aged white woman passes

@gamegrumps.bsky.social i used to pray for times like these

first piss of the new year btw

crazy that 2025 is on 4/20 this year

getting fucked up at the mall. idec anymore..

hitting the gym with a water bottle full of unleaded gasoline