Watching new US soccer fans going through every emotion and opinion over the course of the tournament makes me feel old and crotchety but also it’s like watching baby deer find their legs.

Good morning to the first time I wrote about what to do with yourself after the USMNT got bounced out of the World Cup in the Round of 16: ryansholin.com/2010/06/28/f...

For those of you keeping score (me), Pulisic’s greatest non-CONCACAF achievement with the USMNT is scoring against Iran while injuring himself in the 2022 group stage.

The REALLY good news is I don’t have to be torn about a USMNT-Spain game, and Spain is going to win the World Cup.

I also think we desperately need a better CB to pair with Richards under the age of 38. Noahkai Banks, next man up.

The mistakes were so sloppy today it’s less clear what went wrong? I do think Poch got outplayed by Rudi in the first half, and we needed to actually soak up some pressure from the wings before bombing forward.

I love to look for someone to blame, but we were absolutely outclassed again.

Reminder: We lost to the Netherlands 3-1 in the 2022 round of 16.

Welp

Good reminder to try moving my flag bandana from my head to my neck

*nervously* OK who is marking Doku

Watch Tim Ream make decisions gives me hives

*urgently throws money at Danhausen*

OK maybe a little cursed

Poch von Count like “SIX! SIX attacking midfielders, Ah Ah Ah”

Love Poch for trying something

GIO REYNA TRASH HALF INCOMING

Extremely frustrating to be the analytics dork and get to halftime and just be like. Dunno. Don’t play like shit.

Pretty sure we prepared for a different team

Pulisic needs an “I have to try” moment

Do we need to get Joe Scally on in the second half to mark Trossard?

More unhinged is fine let’s get silly

Not Tim Ream’s best evening

MAYBE MARK TROSSARD

*buys Tillman jersey* (Very specific M. Tillman jersey.)

Malik Fucking Tillman

Uh we need to change something tactical now, which is fun and not terrifying at all.

There is no curse There is no curse There is no c

We might need to guard the wingers.

Let’s fucking go.

Belgium’s lineup seems designed to soak up attacks for 85 minutes and then bring on Doku and Lukaku as finishers, so all we have to do is score four goals before than happens and win 4-2.

The USMNT is going to beat Belgium next, but because we can’t have nice things, it’s going to involve some sort of super soft penalty in our favor.

Hi I drove 8 hours today and listened to the Spain-Portugal game while the 16yo in the backseat described it to me in slightly more detail than Ian Darke and I strongly recommend kicking the ball at the goal.

Actually, now that I think about it, hate the game, not the players.

“Let’s host a World Cup again,” we said. “It will be so much fun,” everyone said. A lone voice mumbled “but what will it cost?” A strange laugh rang out, like a pigeon being strangled. Gianni Infantino stepped out of a shadow, a sliver of 113°F sunlight slashing across his sharp white teeth.

OK, two games a day is enough when they’re like this.

Wow

OPEN WIDE FOR SOME SOCCER ok not that wide might’ve gotten more than we bargained for here hoo boy what happens next?

This is where VAR has been bad in this tournament because that’s not a foul anywhere else on the field right now

Azteca delivers

it is impossible to post about this game because something else happens before your finish the last thought

Zero doubt

Scenes

Bruh that’s red

Gordon is playing quite well?

Honestly one of the loudest Simpsons frames ever.

Mexico is objectively more fun to watch than Brazil in this tournament; playing at home helps.

Soccer is good.

MOARRRRRRRR