yes, *alright*! i *get your point*. you *hardly* need to keep . . . *droning ON* about it, you know . . . . . . *alright*.

for a woman of *your* caliber? i *very much doubt it*.

-- and *never*, and i *mean* *NEVER*, had i been so offended! the *very notion*: that *billions of billions of years* might pass, that *times* and *tides* go through us *all*, yet *mister blobby*-- -- *excuse me*?

money? *money*?? *MONEY*??? *ohhhh*, will you *bounty hunters* *EVER LEARN* . . . ! i'll have you know that-- ( USER MUTED. )

because there is a *ship* carrying some *terrible weapons* i'd like for *you* to *'intercept'*.

i'm a doctor-of-all-trades, i'll have you know. *testify*? oh, *no*. i'm giving you something *much* more fun! i'm going to send some data over to your *ship*. have a look through, you'll find some *rather interesting names*, i think. how do you feel about *piracy*?

*cooked* -- very much like *transidyne's GOOSE*!

*fix my tie*? what tie? *this* ( leaning forward, lifting it up, waving its bright, garish pattern in the air: ) is a *cravat*. ( but he follows anyway, one hand in his pockets, the other stroking his chin. he stops, twirls, to face v. ) hmm. i don't suppose you know who *invited us*, do you?

*i* am *usually referred to* as *the doctor*. *you* ought to watch your language.

yes, i *quite understand*. if i had a *penny* for every *planet* that worshipped me as a *god* . . .. !

the *entire rack*! ( a heavy sigh. ) tut! *really* -- i *am* starting to *regret* inviting you onto my *bowling team*. i *ought* to have gone with josé rizal *after all*!

- / - / - / --- INCOMING CALL . . . --- / - / - / - @hereforthecat.bsky.social

WHAT?

( a sigh. ) i can *see that*. but who *are* you?

oh yes? what do you spend it all on? certainly not *clothes*.

( a scoff. ) what's the difference?

*yes*. you've never heard of a *dalek*? i thought you were supposed to be a *bounty hunter*, mmm? nasty things. *genocidal pepperpots*. they *consider themselves* masters of the universe, *et cetera, et cetera*. *crude*, but *ruthless*.

and *who*, might i ask, wants to *know*?

oh, you get used to it. actually, it's the ones that *don't* shoot that you get excited for! give me an *axon*, or *the mara*, over a *sontaran* or a *dalek* *any day*!

(scoffs. ) *hardly*. i'm nine h-- *just a minute*, do i know you?

it's important to own up to your mistakes.

you're too kind. what a *relief* to *finally* meet someone with such a *keen eye* and *good taste*!

oh, ladies, i'm flattered! i'm the *doctor*. and your names are . . . ?

𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗜𝗖𝗘 𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗥𝗜𝗢𝗥𝗦. they could build a city under the sand, yet drench the snows of mars with innocent blood. they could slaughter whole civilizations, yet weep at the crushing of a flower.

been there, *done that*, got the *celery*!

and just what did *you* do to get yourself locked up in a cell as *lacklustre* as *this*? as far as cells go, i have to say, this one is *sorely* lacking.

guard! guard! are you *quite* sure there's no other cells?

( peering over a ledge. ) a-*ha*! look at that, *admin*! come along.

( turning off the stovelighter. he opens his mouth to correct her, but the possibility occurs to him that she may be right. ) . . . er, yes, *well*, that's besides my point. *none* of that *faff* would have happened if you *listened* to what i said!

STOP . . . ( wrestling with her. ) . . . SHOUTING! ( imagine being one of the swarm for a moment: your food is armed and lively, howling at you. your people are under attack. is it worth the effort? ) DON'T AIM IT AT *ME*! AT THE ROCKS, THE *ROCKS*! CAUSE A LANDSLIDE!

DON'T DO THAT! you'll *anger* them! ( still waving the flame around with one hand whilst trying to confiscate her gun with the other. )

oh, *now* you've done it, *haven't you*?! i *told* you to *be quiet*! this is *all your fault*! ( he takes out a stovelighter, holding down the trigger so that it releases a large flame. ) aha! yes! stay back! terrified of flames, you see. once again i seem to be fixing *your* mess.

how irksome!

*ah-ah-ah*. i already made it *quite clear* to you that i'm only going to help you with your *ship* if we got this little *errand* done for *me* first. if you won't play nice, i shall simply leave you here to be *bat food*. manners cost *nothing*, you know.

oh yes? i suppose you just * hopped up* and *restrained yourself* upside down, did you? ( the doctor would never be so petty as to pay attention to such things. which is precisely why he double-takes at her walk and strides like a cat. ) do you have a name, or shall i call you *bat-sheba*?

*hardly*. now keep it down, or else you'll wake up the bats and we'll *both* be strung up! *dangling upside down* does *not* suit my constitution, you know. ( he sticks his head out down the long cavernous corridors, pulling his 'sneaking' face, biting his lower lip. ) the coast's clear. quickly!

( a scoff. ) *oh*, what's the *use*? nobody *ever* listens to a word of sense. intelligence: the *rod for my back*, my *cross to bear*, my *mixed metaphor*. very well. hold still. this won't hurt -- much.

are you going to *wander off* again if i let you out?

well, have you learned your lesson now? hm? @hereforthecat.bsky.social

but that's where the bat nest is! tut. *really*, they *never* listen . . .

" *oh*. i *see*. " a frown. " you're a *fan*. mmm, *very well*, i *suppose* i can sign a few things . . . "

" *clever boy*? yes, i rather suppose i am. " a very smug grin as he puts his hands in his pockets, bright jacket falling back and exposing the uneven patterns of his waistcoat. his grin falls as he processes her words, turning into a furrowed frown of thought. " . . . who told you? "

you called?

no point. the future is *seldom* expected. i can count the number of times i've seen an accuate prediction of the future on an alpha centuran's pincers. if you'll excuse me, i'm *trying* to find the admin amongst all this . . . *twaddle*! mmm, though i *suppose* . . . *no*!

whatever for? hmmm, map, map . . . *ah*! now, let's see here . . . twinklezone, future-city, natureworld . . . mmm. westward-ho!, freedom-town. these are *hardly* creative.

( a scoff. ) they couldn't afford my rate! i suppose you're not wrong, if by '*went under*' you mean '*went underground*'. there's a *dark conspiracy* at play here. one i *intend* to get to the bottom of.

an information core. buried underground, at a guess. this park used to be one of the holdings of a very dark and very powerful company. what do you know of *transidyne*?

mmm, about the size of a hyperion engine. they're one of the native species of this planet. the *'pest control*' stopped when the park closed down. not to worry - they wouldn't get much meat off *your* bones. no, in all likelihood they'd merely leave you as a *scratching toy* for their young.