My mother... Just brought me some smoked salmon and soft cheese sandwiches for my lunch tomorrow. Rang the doorbell. A mother's love cannot be underestimated. That's... Up there with the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. Thanks Ma 💚

The definition of "boak" is del boy. So His team won. They beat the tims. Euphoria. And his real team are winning too! Happy fucking Sunday. But they're beating his old team. Who cares? We love a huns win. And best of all... A wee pint later with Kettlewell. 🍀 Boak.

Just wait until Auntie Beeb discovers how much the UK Government spends on sending folks on overseas jollies!!! 🙄 Personally, I'd rather have a safe ferry than a Prince Andrew. Ahem. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

It had to happen. We needed a boot in the baws. Dundee were well deserved winners and the way they played they could have beaten us at our best. But we were awful. It was humiliating. What's worst is, you can't put it down to a bad day, we've all seen the steady decline. Only hope is January.

""No one should be stopped from watching a football game simply because of who they are," a government spokesperson said." A government spokesperson who has clearly forgotten which country had clubs banned from European competition in the '80s. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Where exactly do Greece find their managers? Every one looks like they've stumbled out of a Grateful Dead tribute band or were discovered as the last remnants of a long forgotten Vietnam War protest. Anyway, quick update. Greece are all over Denmark but getting pumped 3-0. No idea how that works 🤪

"Police Scotland said it had received a report of the disturbance at about 11:20 on Friday. A spokesperson said: "No injuries were reported. No complaint was made, and suitable advice was given. No further police action is required."" Hid that well down the story. 🤔 www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Derek in Larkhall: "Ah go wi' ma cousin, ma mate, ma brother..." I was just waiting for him to say: "Ma wife..." So I could blurt out... "It's the same person..." 😂🙄

🤣🤣🤣 The BBC, now telling us how Ferguson Marine are brilliant at building ferries and should be getting new contracts... 🤣🤣🤣 I'd say you couldn't make this shit up, but clearly someone has. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

"Speaking before Sunday's final stage, Spanish Prime Minister Pedro Sanchez said he admired the protesters. "Today marks the end of the Vuelta," Sanchez told a socialist party rally in the southern city of Malaga. "Our respect and recognition for the athletes and our admiration for... 1/2

Are we blaming the pitch and the monsoon? I daresay neither helped, but it was an idiosyncratic performance of our season today. Not bad, but not good enough, and too slow. Not putting teams away. I also think that Kasper should do better with the goal, he reeled back from it. He can head that...

What a header that was from the wee man. I can't even say it was an ich-perfect cross, because I don't think 9/10 centre forwards are getting to that far less guiding it on target. That was pure class Daizen. Brilliant. 🍀

Ian Crocker says Brendan Rodgers has had his issues with Killie and I thought "every Celtic manager has had their issues with Killie..." Then, I thought, probably the only one with a good record against them was wee Gordon Strachan... And he had Shunsuke Nakamura, who was the Anti-Killie... 😂

I'm not sure if that handball's a penalty or not... But I'm surprised it's not at least reviewed. 👀

"Former Celtic centre-half Gustaf Lagerbielke is at the centre of a bizarre episode after he was officially declared as a missing person by a Dutch council despite sealing a £2.5 m summer transfer to Braga in Portugal." www.bbc.co.uk/sport/footba... Where's Gustaf??? 👀

So, I heard them all chanting "Martin, get tae fuck, Martin, Martin get tae fuck..." And I thought "That's a bit rude. At least chant Russell, Russell get tae fuck." Then it struck me. Ahhh... Russell sounds like a Protestant name, but Martin sounds like a Catholic name... For the Buddhist. 🤣🤣🤣

Hibs playing in green and white hoops? Let the meltdown begin... Bhuuuuhahahaha...

I posted a pic of a double rainbow a few days back, but it wasn't really clear. I think we can all agree, *this* is a double rainbow... 😉

You can all read into this what you will. 👀

The interesting thing about the Mandelson Hydra having its third head removed is: That throughout all that time, then his tenure, then the revelations, then him even saying worse is to come. At no point did Mandelson actually think "I should resign." That tells you all you need to know about him.

I looks like there's a really big fire somewhere near Celtic Park just now. The smoke's spreading east for miles. Thick, black. I know there's that recycling place across London Rd that goes up in flames every couple of months. It looks round about there, but it's hard to tell from this distance.

I can't see the bit where those whitey-righty law-and-order types like Yaxley-Lennon and Farage condemn criminal damage and intimidation. Is there an editorial policy change at the BBC which means they're no longer quoting every single word Farage says. 🤔🙄 Or... 😳 www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Just throwing this out there, but... Nobody outside of London gives a monkeys left nut about a Tube strike. Do they not have "local" news down there? Why do the rest of the World need to know about it? Pretty sure when the Glasgow Underground was on strike it wasn't big news darn sarf.

Just had a Black Eyed Peas video show up on my timeline, and it reminded me of an old joke. What do: 1. Manchester United 2. The Black Eyed Peas, and 3. Prince Andrew Have in common.? They've all been fucking embarrassing since Fergie left. 🙄😉

Ian Murray's sacking is a slightly baffling one. Kier Starmer was in Scotland yesterday as part of the Danish warships announcement Murray himself takes credit for that deal (narcissist) in his departure letter. So presumably they spoke yesterday. You'd think, if you were going to sack someone 1/?

I shouldn't laugh at this, as it's not actually funny... But if ever there were a perfect vignette of the moral hypocrisy and populism of the British press, this has to be it. As devoured by a readership of a few hundred inbreds.

Hey, BBC... I hesitate to criticise the scrutiny of your dedicated news analysts... But you might want to get your "In Depth" team to assess the accracy of this headline. I'm no expert, but there might be a clue in the picture that it's not exactly nailed on... BBC, never knowing accurate. 🤪🤣

I took this earlier today. It is a double rainbow, which looked really vibrant in real life... And absolute shit on my Huawei phone camera. 🤣 If you squint you might see it 😉

"Any unauthorised installations will be removed and handed in to the local police station where the owners can collect them," they said." That'll be an interesting conversation... "Eh, can you describe it?" "Aye, it's, eh, blue wi' a white diagonal cross..." 🤪🤣 www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

I really didn't have: Marjorie Taylor Greene turns out to be one of the good guys... In even the most psychedelic prediction for the next turn of events in Washington. I can only assume this was the Seventh Seal and it's now officially an apocalypse.

I doubt he'll make it to Cambuslang, but if anybody I know sees this wee fella around East Calder, you know what to do. 💖

Odd question here. Has anyone ever heard the phrase "Clothes-pins"? I mean, I would usually say "Clothes pegs," but I said pins earlier and then wondered where I got it from. It might be an Irish thing (from my Granny). Does anyone call them that, and why? 🤔

I genuinely think that telling me what you're going to watch on the telly is the 2025 version of showing me a picture of your fucking dinner. Watch it, eat it, shut the fuck up about it. 🙄

David Fofana. On loan from Chelsea. Great. Should I break out the sparklers? 😳

I'm guessing tomorrow we'll get our Europa League 4-match package email then... That should go down well. 🙄

You know that feeling, yesterday, when about 40 minutes into the game you felt like just turning over and watching something else or going to the pub... It's fucking groundhog day... Because that's exactly how I feel watching Sky Sports News for their deadline day coverage today. 😣

I'm not his biggest fan... Actually I find him quite repellent... But imagine getting sacked after TWO league games!!! Is Leverkusen twinned with Watford? www.bbc.co.uk/sport/footba...

Ummmm... Naw. He isnae. Anybody mind when Phillipe Clement's side beat us 3-3? Well, for the same reason that was utter pish... 🤔

Surely I can't be the only person who... Watching Jurrien Timber going down at Anfield... Shouted... "TIMBER!!!!" 😳😆

Well that was fucking awful. Utter garbage. We made them look adequate. And no one else has managed that this season.

That was a tough watch. Over to you Brendan. Because it ain't working and we're sitting ducks. But for the fact Scalesy can head a ball, we're fucked.

So, Alexa just played, randomly... Loaded - Primal Scream Love Will Tear Us Apart - Joy Division She Sells Sanctuary - The Cult Some Might Say - Oasis If I ever meet a woman with as good taste in music as my digital voice assistant I'll marry her. 💚🤣

He can pretend to be dead all he wants. I still want the Epstein files released.

My take on the "Ashli Babbit" furore... Release the Epstein Files you fucking paedophile. Thank you for your attention in this misdirection.

Bologna away, out of Pot 4 of a Europa League draw is like some kind of cruel fucking joke. 😳

I'm not sure I have many followers in Detroit... But just in case... This sounds like a great idea to get behind... And let's be honest... We all want to wear that. I don't often ask for reposts, but if you can help, you know what to do 💚🍀

The news is, frankly awful. We can choose between 24/7 parading of Farage and the removal of our human rights... Or the military occupation of Washington DC... Or genocide. What a time to be alive. So come on the hoops. Give me something to smile about this evening. We all need it. 🍀 HH

I'm sensing that my bluesky feed is becoming more polarised. I'm sure some people would think of that as an echo chamber. I prefer to think of you all as the good guys and gals. So thank you all. 💖

Like every boy, ever. Meanwhile back in reality, I actually wanted a wee MG Midget... Which my Auntie owned, which I eventually got my hands on. And it was not what you'd call a dream car. The roof was ripped right in the place that the rain pished in on your face. But, it never rains in Scotland.