Bob mode: activated

I forgot to post my results from the amazing @sashyenka.com - but who’d have thought my season included all my favorite colors ?! 😍🫐🐊🌸

Me waiting for my husband to come home from working late with my birthday dinner.

I just received The Golden Girls Word Search, Quips, Quotes and Coloring Book (Coloring Book & Word Search) - Flexibound from lesbianashley via Throne. Thank you! https://throne.com/t0ejam #throne

Early birthday present 😭

Me if I had been there (I’m Mrs. Rene)

I hope yall felt my spirit in the club last night 😔

Me doing my colonoscopy prep

My grandma (rip) was adamant someone take this picture when she moved into assisted living so I took it and have had it since, and now my husband doesn’t want to hang it in our home?!

My 12 year old nephew just said “Vaping isn’t Tung Tung Tung Sacool”

Almost had a panic attack when I only counted 8 goslings in the goose family that hangs out in our backyard - but a straggler came running out and I can breathe easy

Had a dream that I was dating a guy who looked exactly like Riff Raff (not the rocky horror one). What the FUCK is going on in my subconscious

My husband is trying to remember a song that he claims has a line like “so many hot women without a bra” and I’m at a loss. Allegedly released around 2010.

Wawa, bring back the everything bagel seasoned soft pretzels, cowards!!!

Beautiful day for Porchfest!!!

Need a miffy baggu so bad

Should I get a mom bob for summer? Be honest.

I know Spotify Bad but they made me a playlist of my favorites top songs since I started using it in 2011 and unfortunately it’s all bangers

Guys remember this song

Crying at this beautiful watercolor my husband had commissioned for Mother’s Day by the very talented @mmomothz.co (on Insta). Literally in awe 😭

excuse me?!

This is who runs this account

Good thing I didn’t because I got food poisoning. THANKS, CHIPOTLE.

“If you eat these jalapeños and don’t poop for 12 hours, I’ll get you a switch 2.” Chat, I was about to do it.

Me to my husband all week leading up to Mother’s Day

A raggedy old man came up to me and the store and was like, “ya know any good jokes about redheads?” And I was like no???? And then he goes “well I’d tell ya but I don’t think he wants to hear it” and points to Baby Toe. What the fuck.

My husband just left me a voicemail pretending to be the GI office confirming my “butt surgery (colonoscopy)”

My dad came back today from a college rugby team reunion and is telling stories about dudes named Mean Larry, Creepy Vick, Animal, Angel of Death, Yogi, Billdo, Emu, Herk Herk the Jerk, Scrodman (RIP) and Emu.

Without downloading anything new where are you at mentally

The GI office told me to show up THIRTY MINUTES before my scheduled appointment. I’m giving them fifteen.

I had three beers and two ice cream sandwiches #yolo

This is killing me

I guess I went to the labcorp they do drug testing at cuz I’m in the waiting room with a bunch of huge tatted up bald dudes with beards who I’m assuming will be operating heavy machinery.

Trying to color with Baby Toe but she just wants to chew on the crayons

I’m going to fight him.

Happy thursdee

WHY IS MY DRYER NOT DRYING

Zendaya is meechee

My mom found my bag of crochet stuff in her basement. I gave up on it years ago when I wasn’t immediately good at it. Do I dare try again????

Woke up from my nap with the jingle “L’Oréal kids, new strawberry smoothie shampoo!” stuck in my head. What does it mean

I wish I had a bathtub like Francis’s in Pee-wee’s Big Adventure.

One time in high school I wrote a paper about Carl Jung but didn’t proofread it and wrote his name as “Carl Hung” in the title.

I want a Seattle dog so bad (I’ve never had one I just know I’d love it) 🌭

I missed wet day this year oh no

Who was posting about Christopher Meloni the other day? I’ve been thinking about this image since then.

Stopped by the Flop House and everyone there was asking why you’re late on rent.