I fear it might be over for me the day they invent raw fish in a can

Ran out of clam chowder at the worst time (when I want clam chowder 😭)

#promosky follow me

Let me suck nyquil from them toes

Sipping on that nyquil that makes my pussy fat

Filling my bad dragon with nyquil

Two words for you: Agentic. Labubu.

Powerful urge to pet & snuggle a cow rn

Can you make cookies without milk and eggs or is that just sugar crackers

Cast dispel on our pregnant party member and it disappeared the fetus. What did God mean by this

My panties? You mean my crab larder???

Deep in the queef cheese mines

It's me, I'm bitches. Hello people of toiletsky how are you doing

bitches be pooping

Fourteen episodes into this shojo and we know literally nothing about the male lead other than he's hot and confident and kind we really don't make tv like this anymore

Me after absolutely bombing out the ladies' room at the venue for the second time that night

why must the rice take time to make

I work long hard 12 hour shifts in the posting hole mines and my partner posts a picture of a dominos pizza and it mogs my biggest post 😭

Bluesky users are not beating the fucking allegations bro

Because I keep seeing these posts I was inspired to make my own pizza for the first time how did I do

Vaporizing ur deersona w my big ass scifi buckshot machine

Exercising my free will by having shrimp cocktail in bed

So I guess those drug dogs weren't trained to smell ketamine lmao

hello is this the diarrhea police? mhm. mhm. yeah. if you could just like send a squad car out that would be great.

Putting my pussy eating apron on tonight

Progresso soup ilu so much but can you please put less air in your soups they keep exploding in my microwave

Sorry I missed the pull in our dungeon I was getting a lapdance from a femboy wearing cat ears

Runescape more like goonscape amirite. I'd stick my stale baguette in her tuna potato if you know what I mean, is this anything

Tragic: someone you hate did something you didn't like. Here's a picture of them smiling

Mr president a 2nd spam sandwich has hit my stomach

Just found out the neighbors can probably hear me yelling the lion king theme to myself while I make breakfast every morning someone kill me please

Would bluesky be interested in a video of me cutting a splinter out of my toe with an x-acto knife or nah

Sex with you is like a backpack stuffed with hotdogs

Do you guys shake the milk to break up the chunks first or nah?

Unfortunately though I have probably maxed out the paleness of my skin some time ago

I have to become paler

I'm making girldinners you couldn't understand

Energy drink + spoonful of peanut butter that's a good breakfast right

Getting really into borderline personality disorder hypnosis I have to become crazier

Sorry I missed the pull I was eating out the dps' asshole irl

Winter Olympics are too boring so I'm proposing a new sport to liven it up: ice fencing

I don’t have time to be horny and post lewds im hopelessly addicted to EverQuest 3 (project: gorgon) Pls play it it’s so good its so good its so good its so good

New kitchencels-worthy dinner post mmmm

Woke zoomers out in the yards making "snowthems"

Martini with hotdog brine 😋

Dingleberries? You mean my little honey bunches?

Got called in by HR at the dick sucking factory for making eye contact

Casually buying seventy soups at stop n shop bless u soup sale

Peak struggle meal (refried beans sandwich)

Accidentally picked up the wrong fork at the fancy dinner party and the host started putting cigarettes out on me