It doesn’t fix things, but it really does bring me comfort to know how miserable some of the worst people are. Donald Trump tweeting over 200 times on Christmas. Billionaires fighting with strangers online during the holidays. Everything about Elon Musk

Mucinex high is the least pleasant high.

Do you ever click on a link and in the half second it takes to load forget what you clicked on but just start reading anyway with the vague hope that half-second-ago-you picked something interesting to look at?

Tech billionaires calling for public executions because they’re “masculine” is obviously disturbing on multiple levels, but also… maybe have chatGPT summarize a few copyrighted history books for you?

This feels like that time someone made a rom-com trailer for The Shining, but it’s 100% real.

This may just be a quirk of my algorithms, but I haven’t seen many year-end top 10 lists for 2025. Did nothing good happen this year, or have we so thoroughly transitioned from culture to content that nothing we consume is worthy of ranking anymore?

I may be a little late to the party here, but have you guys heard of spending money on things you don’t need? Man does that feel good for 5-7 minutes.

Either there’s one guy at Venmo who suggests getting rid of the social feed at every single meeting, or it’s the thing everyone thinks but no one says out loud. Either way I want a gentle Michal Schur sitcom about it.

I don’t know, maybe because your publication has spent years shouting “wokeism!” any time someone points out his racism?

This isn’t quite “Ezra Klein on Charlie Kirk” levels of bad take, but good lord is this a bad take. People died buying 99-cent TV’s but what about all the friends we made along the way…

Why does the person who brings dessert also have to serve the dessert? Does the person who brings the stuffing have to go around asking everyone how much stuffing they want, endlessly reenacting a little psychosocial drama about what constitutes a ‘tiny piece’ and then guilting them into ice cream??

The cast of Stranger Things is in only their early 20’s? That’s not possible; this show has been on for at least two decades.

We can never just admit that conservative ideas are bad. We have to excuse their badness as a reaction to something liberals said or did. When that fails, we have to act like they are somehow a betrayal of other, better conservative ideas instead of just their natural endpoint.

Fuck off. Fuck all the way off. Fuck so far off you get pulled into the sun.

Lowe’s gift cards are the in-game currency of middle age.

Can we get to the part of the economic collapse where shit goes on sale.

Ah yes, the stifling wokeism of 2020. When you couldn’t so much as murder a man in broad daylight without the censorious left freaking out and renaming a middle school.

Is there a name for the unearned sense of accomplishment that comes just from watching a YouTube tutorial?

Between Pluribus and The Best in Me, it’s been a banner week for the traumatized famous shut in lesbian author with an implied drinking problem prestige thriller subgenre.

It seems like the one beneficent use of AI would be summarizing 20,000 pages of Epstein emails for the good of the public? Isn’t that its whole thing? Digesting tons of information?

Life is too stressful right now for 10-episode seasons. Give me a one-off where a minor character has a normal day. Give me a bottle episode about a gentle mystery that resolves without consequence. Let me escape the real world in the aimless narrative bloat of 24 episodes.

Really excited to watch the public confirmation of a ruling class sex trafficking operation and its subsequent coverup to have no impact on our political situation whatsoever. Just a cool time to be living in this country.

One of life’s purest pleasures is people getting famous titles just a little bit wrong, like tonight when my partner mentioned the classic sit-com “Who’s Loving Raymond?”

I realize that our rapid descent into fascism is the post pressing issue of our time, but the increasing popularity of mustaches has to be a close second.

Sam Worthington’s IMDB page is a wild ride. Sixty-odd movies you’ve never hear of, occasionally punctuated by the highest grossing films of all time. It’s like if Paul McCartney wrote Hey Jude and then took a gig as the triangle player for Right Said Fred.

Thanksgiving is not a season, we should keep the cobwebs and witchy shit up another 4 weeks.

Just stumbled across a Reddit user whose posts fall into three categories: 1) 1940’s beefcake photos, 2) reflections on the Asian-American experience, 3) passionate defenses of Donald Trump. Intersectionality is a hell of a drug.

There’s no way it’s a $300 million ballroom. At best it’s a $50 million ballroom and $250 million that fell off a truck.

watching American news right now is sort of like watching Squid Games except only half of the contestants actually signed up to be there and for some reason the prize they're all competing for is additional ruinous debt

It speaks to a certain pre-guillotine sensibility that we’re all a little delighted by a heist right now.

Depending on what state they grow up in, children of the future will see one of two photos when they open their history books to the Trump chapter.

I don’t want to see any more panic editorials about Gen Alpha slang when full grown business adults have done this to the English language.

If your phone is above 50% when you get home from work, you gave them too much of your time.

Honest question: do you think Donald Trump has ever read a book? Like cover to cover, all the way through, one with words. Gotta be a no, right?

The only thing worse than Bari Weiss controlling the news is all the think pieces about her mysterious centrist views, which have just always and exclusively aligned with the right. What an enigma!

Look I don’t want to be the fun police here, I just feel like we are in a real Historical Moment, and I question whether “sexy Ed Gein” is what that Moment calls for.

Omg just discovered gardening. You dig a hole and put a little plant in it and then you tell the plant you love it and make sure it’s never thirsty and it grows and you don’t look at the internet the entire time.

I was told the collapse of civilization would be all about people fighting to the death in thunder domes and hunger games, but it’s actually just a series of corporate mergers? Lamest. Dystopia. Ever.

Paying for an Adobe product for the first time in over a decade. Their prices may have gone up, but at least the experience of trying to download their software is much worse.

In the interest of de-escalating The Discourse, I want to stress that I am NOT calling for whoever invented the Apple automix function to be fired. I do think we should catapult them into the sun for real though.

Have we already succumbed to fascism?? Is this video game too difficult??? At least the Internet Discourse can walk and chew gum at the same time…

Is blueskyism people bragging about their subpar Wordle results? Because I could do with less of that. No one is impressed it took you 5 tries to get “Often,” Steve.

I had no idea why anyone would make a 5-hour Billy Joel documentary until I was grieving and needed a way to shut my brain off for an entire afternoon. Not all heroes, etc.

This is a very niche complaint, but every advice subreddit has taken “wearing white to a wedding is poor etiquette” to mean “wearing white anywhere near an engaged person is akin to murder” and it’s exhausting.

If I ran the Wordle, I would invent a nonsense word once every 8-10 months and just be like “sorry you couldn’t figure out ‘blerf,’ dumb-dumbs.”

lol Amazon Styling Suggestions. I’m sure my $25 gym shorts will go great with a $1500 watch. Really completes the look.

Reading a post about Trump’s health concerns and all the comments are people naming the specific bottle of alcohol they’re saving for that special day…

One of the weirdest aspects of being middle age is realizing you maybe already own the bed you’re going to die in?

What about a used bookstore just for problematic authors? So if you don’t want that one book sitting on your shelf you can get rid of it, and then if someone else wants to read it they’re not giving an asshole any money?

“Mr. Gorbachev, put up this wall!” -MAGA Reagan, apparently.