4:45pm on Friday?

Sorry dude, but you should’ve closed it out in the 9th

“Sure ‘The Boys Are Back in Town’ is a banger, but how good could the rest of the album be?” - Me before apologizing to Phil & the lads for not knowing ball

My opps pulled up with a trebuchet dawg what do I do? 😳

not quite The Lick™

the women originally accused of witchcraft were just making soup that was too flavorful for the Protestant palate

What do you mean these waters are "shark-infested"? That's where they live!

“Misery Business” is reverse “Jolene”

Amen break whenever Mario vibrates extremely rapidly while emitting a barrage of "ha", "hoo", and "hmm" soundbites

I’m still on Central Time for like 3 minutes

Shoutout to Eugene Debs hopefully he would’ve liked the memes we made about him

bom dia, habibis let’s go soccer

You want a “Joe Rogan of the Left?” Well I want you to pass the rogan josh to the left. [I’m sitting next to you at a Kashmiri restaurant]

“ I don’t have a girlfriend, I just know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.”

"Chris Kamara, can you tell us who the new Pontiff is?"

u know I keep that thang on me

I saw spotted lantern fly nymphs this morning

I’m going to convince one (1) gorilla to fight my landlord

Happy May Day, y’all

Real Madrid 1-2 Arsenal (1-5 Agg.)

One man’s Football Terrorist is another man’s Football Freedom-fighter

🎶 Our flower of Scoootlaaaand…

I would buy a deluxe Blu-ray of when Conan O'Brien, Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart were contractually obligated to host their shows during the 2007 writers strike and pretended to whoop each others' asses.

It’s today

Putting Volkswagen decals on my Tesla to at least keep the Nazi theme

Theory: ‘Cuz Elon Musk left 🇿🇦 before apartheid ended, he didn’t do whatever racist “deprogramming”white South Africans put themselves through. Now the Hitler particles proliferated and have him inhabiting the demeanor of the most disgusting, boorish 1980’s adult Afrikaner.

4:45pm on Friday?

Judges, this is a deconstructed PB&J

Yojimbo alert 🚨🐈‍⬛

apex predator

Shrimply… frying… a wonderful bowl of rice ♪

Are people really out here reading “think pieces?” Because you could be reading Fist of the North Star, a comic where a guy is so good at karate that he can do a punch that makes your own body walk itself backwards into Hell.

<Eric Adams voice> “Harrison, New Jersey is the Istanbul of America!”

Curry Gang gimme a “hell yeah” 🍛✨