really proud of my six year old niece tonight. sniped her in the neck (right in the jugular) with a nerf gun that shoots way too hard for a kids toy. looked like she was about to hit the waterworks, but held it in and didn’t call for her mom (who would’ve been very upset)

if you think the astronauts struggling with Outlook is bad wait until they have to copy paste return coordinates and get sent to another galaxy by mistake because office fucked up the line formatting

feels like half my life is spent going through the 15 steps of logging in to platforms i’d rather never have to use again

never felt as old as when i refer to things “decades” ago

ADVICE FOR ARTISTS: don’t let yourself get caught up thinking about all the ways something you make can be misinterpeted or go wrong. you mind end up stopping yourself from experiencing all the ways it could go right

the first successful instagram content creator who figures out how to use Threads in a truly engaging way and not just lazily crossposting everything from ig is going to make bank

i don’t understand the issue with having someone follow you and then liking 30 of your posts in a row. by all means, please go ahead and like all my shit. that’s what it’s there for

there are social media profiles out there with millions of followers getting 100 likes on posts. stop worrying so much

the unfortunate thing about the more expensive things in life is that they really are so much better than 99% of the cheaper things 😩

i’m cool with the new harry potter being made and even the snape casting choice because we already had 8 movies that were all true to the books. there’s no need to worry about that shit. let new adaptations take risks and try different things

administrating the digital bureaucracy of being alive feels like having a second job these days. and half the time is spent trying to log in to places

tell hulu just because i watched all of Shoresy three time straight doesn’t mean i care about hockey now

i know many people use social media for their jobs and livelihoods, but you can’t assume others are doing the same. stop taking it personally when someone unfollows or doesn’t engage with your posts. there is zero obligation or responsibility on anyone to do so.

there was a point in time when google was actually revolutionizing the way we lived with their technological advancements. today i asked my google home to run a stopwatch and it said it doesn’t have the capabilities

100 years from now, what incident do you think they will choose from the past decade that was the one where USA basically decided laws don’t matter for those with enough power and resources?

it takes work for things to be easy

chuck norris dead? he now has the chande to do the funniest thing ever

apparently all the $$ democrats spend is from the hard-earned wages that were stolen from us through taxation and all the $$ republicans spend is from the why the fuck does it matter to you? do you hate america? who cares where the money comes from we need to use it to

something that really stands out to me living with Boomers is that they have always been used to things in the world working in one way. by that i mean if you log in to a platform with a certain credential or process, they don’t expect that process to ever change.

in 2014 in Madrid i had a friend who copped from a group of guys from Zimbabwe. one time he took me to their apartment, there were about 8 guys, 4 big garbage bags full of bud, and they had a grainy 13-inch TV where they watched old reruns of Walker, Texas Ranger on repeat

it feels like so many people nowadays can’t see the consequences of things that happen in the world beyond just how it affects them and their interests

instagram is at it’s most enjoyable when you treat it like a personal photo album full of fun memories. that’s why we always go back to look through our posts. i just spent 10 minutes after dinne going through my profile smiling, laughing, and remembering

my biggest speed bump working in social media is that i don’t want to just resort to an “optimized hook or trend” to create content for a brand. every time someome suggests an idea that is being done by countless people i’m thinking of something completely different and original

it’s in the 40s in orlando today and it’s soooooo fucking nice

another big issue i see with social media is that half the people are like “i just want to look at silly little things and have fun” and the other half is like “you only liked 46/167 posts i’ve shared this week it’s YOUR FAULT i can’t pay my rent because i didn’t get enough engagement”

my dad has been on the phone with a credit card company for over an hour because they started billing him $2 for paper statements even though he’s had the card for 4 years and never received a paper statement. this feels like a great microcosm for everything US society is becoming

i don’t think people realize the damage we’ve done to creativity by commodifying it as a thing that needs to be presented through social media every single day at its maximum potential

we dont even do the news anymore we just have people talking about the gambling odds that life-altering global events will happen

was so excited for my massage today that i was about to get on the table buck naked when i remembered that’s not how it goes

the top strategy on social media isn’t even to be originally creative anymore it’s just to reuse the same trend that has worked for others — so boring and uninspiring

favorite thing my dog does is crying to get walked 10 times a day only to take 4 massive dumps in the kitchen while everyone is sleeping at 4am. then she wakes me up right after that to get walked

This is a two way race.

thinking again about the greatest scene in cinema history

pretty pathetic that neither yahoo sports nor apple sports app have a dedicated page for World Baseball Classic scores and standings. they only have articles and when you click for scores it takes you to MLB scores

vamos a pintarnos el pelo rubio y después rajar palma en la papeleta

at the office hearing people speaking in 5 different spanish accents, french people with thick accents, italian dude speaking spanitalian and englitalian imagine living in a state so culturally rich and diverse but wanting to erase that diversity because you only know 1 way of life. loser mentality

judging people on the train by what they’re looking at on their phones: - lady watching abbott elementary 💪 - dude watching andrew tate videos back2back2back 🤢🤮 - my guy reading a paperback Carl Jung 🤌

a laborar

miami metro rail is packed with people commuting to work. the people yearn to get out of their cars and ride efficient and affordable public transportation. too bad these corrupt miami politicians only care about lining their own pockets and increasing personal brand value for future profit

first time it’s been this bad: searched for basic info about an animal (white kangaroo) and all the google results are links to social media posts or youtube videos or news articles. not a single primary source of basic scientific information

guy next to me on the shuttle from the train station to the office was looking up remixes of macarena on soundcloud

we really needed this rain in Miami

last night i learned that my 6 y.o. niece refers to cookies exclusively as “biscuits” because of Bluey. don’t be surprised in 20 years when the high school and college generations are regularly using australian words around the world

we have “Is It Cake?” so how long before there’s an “Is The Video AI?” game show?

modern romance on the internet is a wild experience because you’ll think you’re attracted to someone and then you see them posting about chemtrails and the earth being flat

>are you from earth? >i’m from missouri >that’s on earth, dipshit probably my favorite lines/interaction in the entire MCU 🤌

keke palmer has jim carrey-esque physical comedy potential but no role has been brave enough to tap into it. The Burbs (2 ep so far) is giving her a small opening but i still feel like she has so much more to give

sucks to see someone in a show or movie that has a haircut that makes them look like an idiot and then realize you have the same haircut

the drums are beating @ryanhatesthis.bsky.social threads is happening @garbageday.email

those losers over at tpusa are gonna be so upset when bad bunny’s halftime show becomes the most watched event in the history of american television that they’re gonna do something super racist like invent an entirely new system of tv ratings