Everyone else seems to be sharing their thoughts about Apple’s 50th anniversary, why not me? chrisbreen.com/words/2026/4...

What with runaway inflation and this development, many may prefer to use dollar bills in lieu of toilet paper.

Take cover, dogs of South Dakota! #TheresAKillerOnTheLoose

I have a newsletter now. You should subscribe to it. get-your-phil-newsletter-ccdfef.beehiiv.com/p/get-your-p...

While Rome burns

Let me suggest that it isn’t just students, dear headline writer.

I know I’m late to the party when I say the French spy series, The Bureau, is a wonderful watch. One of the best things I’ve seen this year.

I don’t want to brag or anything, but unlike the president, I’m not mentioned anywhere in the Epstein files.

Not another nickel to the Democrats. FU ACT BLUE

Man oh man, whoever rigged these elections did a hell of a job.

Celebrating a very important death today. Andrew Cuomo’s political future. Wait, what were you thinking?

Big turnout in Santa Cruz #NoKings

Is “ACTUALLY, I HATE WHAT AMERICA HAS BECOME” too long for a sign?

Look, just release the Epstein files already. We’re well past the point where Trump’s “Yeah, so? What are you gonna do about it?” response will cause a ripple in the GOP. At this point Johnson and Thune will demand a National Pedophiles Day.

If I’m reading this correctly, Republican leaders prefer to keep the government shut down because the President is a pedophile. Seems like that deserves a headline or two.

Awaiting the “Okay okay, Kimmel’s back. How about we put this whole Unsubscribe thing behind us, eh?” email from Disney. Followed by multiple emails dropping the price lower, lower, oh my god so low.

Sending a message. Buh bye Disney/Hulu

The Apple User Guides for 26: iPhone User Guide: support.apple.com/guide/iphone... Apple Watch User Guide: support.apple.com/guide/watch/... iPad User Guide: support.apple.com/guide/ipad/w... Mac User Guide: support.apple.com/guide/mac-he...

Wait, you mean it was some bro dipshit and not Joe Biden, George Soros, and Hillary Clinton acting as one? #KnockMeOverWithAFeather

I never considered that “Forward, Back To The Middle Ages” could be a viable Republican platform. #ConsiderMeWrong

Asking for a nation of friends.

It’s a little late for disgruntled Trump voters to protest, “Waiter, there’s Hitler in this soup. I definitely ordered the Mussolini.”

Warm clear night

To complement Apple’s Hard to Swallow week, look for Cafe Macs to offer Gristle Pie and Fatty Fatback to employees who just aren’t quite fed up enough.

Die! Tesla! Die! Summer edition

More from the north

Ms. Yaccarino is stepping down to spend more time with the vast empty void that is her soul.

What is it about Trump cabinet members and Congressional toadies that makes their smug faces so invitingly slappable?

If I have this right, Elon appeals to: 1. Shitbag tech bros 2. Ill-informed Republicans Which means his political party splits off a sizeable portion of MAGA, leaving Democrats to win the day. Go, Elon, go!

Yet another day when I’ve considered resubscribing to the New York Times so I can unsubscribe again.

In addition to mourning the loss of our democracy to autocrats and toadies, I will be clicking endless Unsubscribe links embedded in funding requests from people who did fuck all to keep this from happening.

So GOP sponsors and passes bill guaranteed to disproportionately harm residents of red states. Red states with residents armed to the teeth. Let’s see how that works out.

Oh look, hell has a new preacher.

West Marin nightscape.

Dear Democratic Party, If “Pack the Supreme Court” fails to make it into 2028’s party platform, you’ve lost my vote, provided, of course, any of us are allowed one.

Huh, Magic Lasso now blocks ads in apps, including social media and news apps. Makes Apple News much more pleasant to use.

Wonderful surprise to find Russ Kunkel and Leland Sklar playing in Lyle Lovett’s Large Band tonight.

Mother and child

Here’s a thought: Next time a world leader starts a war, rather than “rallying behind” for the good of the country, take a moment to consider the more appropriate response, “Nah, fuck this guy.”

Look out, GOP. Schumer’s pulled out his for-strongly-worded-statements-only pen.

Okay

Tomorrow’s Truth Social post: “BIGGLIEST CROWD IN DC EVER!!!” Sadly, 87% of Republicans will believe it.

And once you cancel your NYT Games subscription, check out lexfriedman.com/games. Disclaimer: Lex is an almost unbearably good person. He deserves your support.

Another way to protest? Forego Spelling Bee, Connections, and other NYT games. Paying for both-sides news helps only one side.

Brand loyalty.

Why yes, now is exactly the right time for a bunny pic.

And Democrats’ reaction to the Padilla rough-up is… Fundraising. Jesus…

Yes, the Padilla incident is political theater, but exactly the kind of political theater we need. Keep it up!

Brian Wilson paid a high price for his genius. We all benefited from his suffering.

Add me to the long “I have many a bone to pick with Gavin Newsom, but…” list. He said what needed saying. We’ve reached the point when this shit has to stop.