How are you supposed to deliver stockings to teenagers while maintaining any semblance of Christmasy spirit? Just encountered Boy 1 in the hallway while clutching his stocking. Me: ‘Um, ho ho…ho?’ Him: ‘Er, shall I just take that?’ Then Boy 2 emerged for a wee and to criticise my lack of stealth.

Village Christmas. 6pm Hark the Herald Angels sing. 11pm I’m twisted firestarter. It was a night or two halves.

Just stole someone’s trolley in Costco. Failed to notice for several aisles. Shrieked, failed to find the owner, retrieved mine, then had to go back for the stuff I’d put in it after waltzing off with it. Thus looking as though I was stealing someone else’s AS batteries and granola.

Just had to ask someone to stop influencing by the hand dryers in the Bath station toilets so I could actually dry my hands. There have to be better places to pose with one hand behind your head and the other on your hip while your friend stage directs from behind the phone camera.

Wow. You really can buy anything on Amazon.

Just finished watching Firefly and Serenity with Boys 1 and 2. The desperate hope in Boy 1’s voice when he said ‘Is there…like, a post credits scene? Or something?’ It was like watching small children realise there’s no Santa. #firefly #scifi

Today I finally found my meat handling limit as a vegetarian in a meat-eating family. The words ‘reach inside the chicken’ seemed entirely innocuous until the moment of the reaching arrived. Reader, I found another recipe.

Boy 1’s English lit paper flagged for remark - 2 marks off higher grade. One problem - his teacher will find out he abandoned Frankenstein and answered the Christmas Carol questions based solely on multiple viewings of the Muppet version. And did substantially better than expected. Just…how?

Relief here after GCSE results. Boy 1 decided not to do any work before mocks, thinking natural ability would get him through. Cue a frantic scramble before the real things. It could have gone either way. Solid set of results - a couple of disappointments but a couple of pleasant surprises too.

I seem to be everyone’s ‘oops, not for you’ this morning. I have had an apology for cancelling tonight’s session at short notice (partner, and he was talking about rowing!) and my mother in law informing me that she’s just spoken to me and will be seeing me later and that we’ve had wasps nests.

It’s meeeee!

On a bus which has a fault that is making it give a ‘Please apply handbrake’ alert every 5 seconds while the bus is moving. I am fully expecting the driver to hurl himself from his window any second. Then ‘please apply handbrake’ will become a pressing matter for all of us on board.

I am a vegetarian, but if it would make chirpy mcchirpface outside my window shut up, I would gladly eat him, feathers and all. Yes, rhw sun is rising. It happens every day. Calm down.

Me: OMG how much weight have I put on since I last wore this dress? I can't even get it on. What am I going to wear tomorrow? Aaaaaargh! Less stupid me: You know you haven't undone the zip, right?

Me: My parcel has been delivered to the wrong house. The house in the picture is not mine, or in fact any house in this very small village. Evri: Have you checked with all your household members? Me: Yes, they're all pretty sure they also don't live in that house that's not our house. HTH.

Actual footage of my face for the 15 minutes when I thought Scrivener had somehow deleted all traces of every copy and backup of the book that will be going to my agent by the end of this week. Turned out to be a misunderstanding between me, the wifi and Dropbox. #writing

Your one week reminder of what should be a fun event at Covent Garden Waterstones, talking about writing for and about the stage, obviously including immersive theatre! With @emilyhowes.bsky.social, Lianne Dillsworth and Seb Huang of Sleepwalk Immersive. www.waterstones.com/events/anne-...

This was so much fun. Thanks to @minimumlabyrinth.bsky.social for the invitation. It’s a great way to spend an afternoon if you’re interested in London history or immersive theatre - or both!

All the best conversations happen while drinking in barns in Somerset. And I say this as a committed northerner.

That thing where you live in a really small village, go drinking with your neighbours and then have to tittup home through the pitch dark and 100 yards takes about 20 minutes.

Boy 3 has turned out to have an unexpected talent for music and is teaching himself piano. This is lovely and to be encouraged but does mean I am woken up early every morning to the opening strains of the How to Train Your Dragon theme. And really loud birds.

Woman in fitting room: what do you think of this fit? Me: errrrrr Woman: It’s ok. I want an honest opinion Me: I don’t think it’s a great fit. It doesn’t hang nicely. You could find something better. Woman: [steely deathstare] Me: I’ll just be, um, over there. Lesson learned. ‘It’s lovely!’

The AI generated Chicago Times summer reading story would be funny if it wasn’t for the fact that there is so little mainstream media space left for book reviews. What a shame that Marco Buscaglia couldn’t find enough respect for his fellow writers to even look up the actual books they’d written.

Lovely recommendation!

Finally got to watch the first episode of the new Handmaid's Tale season. I did not expect that moment at the end. Now sniffling on the sofa.

Currently waiting to find out whether I actually need to help my elderly neighbour buy something online, or whether I just ruined a very convincing scammer's day with my cheery 'popped round but you didn't hear the doorbell. Give me a shout when you're free. And do you want anything from Tesco?'

Did not anticipate spending today in hospital after what’s looking like a low blood pressure triggered collapse at the top of the stairs. Head first into the wall apparently. I was sure I’d just sat down for a minute. I had no idea why an ambulance was on its way. I thought everyone had gone mad.

There are very few things in life more irritating than a late night train. The woman behind had no idea how close she came to having her shoe ripped off and hurled out of the window. I think turning round and snarling ‘Get. Your. Foot. Off. Me. Now’ was restrained in the circumstances.

Looking forward to this event. If you’re in Oxford, come along and say hello!

When you bite your cheek, then it’s swollen so you bite it again, and again, and again, at approximately two second intervals. That. #ouch

Courtesy of Apple Music’s scrolling lyrics, I have jus discovered that Queen’s Hammer To Fall is not about Lady Percy not coming home tonight. I always thought it was some Henry IV cultural reference. #disappointed

A man shouted at me in the supermarket because the machine released a scanner to me after declining to give him one. Apparently this was unfair and made no sense. He went quiet when I pointed out that he needed to use the machine that actually contained scanners rather than the entirely empty one.

Me, on customer services WhatsApp: My order 123 is showing as stuck in the warehouse. It’s a week late. Bot: You can use this link to check the status of your order. If this does not help, you can contact customer services for assistance on WhatsApp or chat. Me: But…you know what, never mind.

My review of the brilliant Bacchanalia by Sleepwalk Immersive, running for another two weeks at Hoxton Hall. Tickets still available for some dates but likely to sell out. annecorlett.co.uk/uncategorize...

When you wander down to friends at the other end of the village with no coat because it’s 6 and still lovely and sunny, and return at 8 and it’s dark and minus 9 million degrees. #coldcoldcoldcoldcold

If you had for some unfathomable reason managed to be driving the wrong way down the exit ramp of a multi storey car park, would you a) back out asap and flee or b) wave your arms in rage then try to force your way back round a corner through 2 lanes of traffic to the entrance? Wrong answers only.

Boy 2's overheard gaming chat is revealing a distinct lack of responsibility-taking. Following the recent 'Don't blame me - it was George who told me to invade Poland,' we have now had 'It's not my fault my horse got stuck on the front of a train.' I mean, I kind of think it probably...is?

Well, a certain ticket ballot email led to a lot of panic and screaming until this confirmation message came through. I didn’t know there was another ballot happening. Also, I’m now faintly terrified. #immersivetheatre #youmebumbumtrain

I am on the train with someone who is trying to explain to drunk people how to play a really complicated card game. I am going to go and steal all their aces in a minute in an attempt to make it stop.

Paperback publication day!

No matter how badly your day is going, spare a thought for the mum who posted on the class WhatsApp group at 8 this morning saying their child said it was a non-uniform day and was told it was World Book Day. #thoughtsandprayers

My February online writing class takes place this Sunday (23rd) and will be tackling the subject of how you move from idea to outline to opening chapter. There are still a couple of spaces available if you want to book now: www.garethlpowell.com/classes/

The Theatre of Glass and Shadows has a new look for the paperback launch on 6 March! geni.us/TheatreOfGlass

In the pub after book group. Couple nearby decided to take enormous offence at our existence. The mental gymnastics involved in maintaining outrage at a group of women discussing literary fiction two tables away were spectacular. No one could quite work out what the issue was but there was RAGE!

I think we all need to spare a thought for the two students who were trudging round Sainsbury’s in Bath last night, debating whether various random items would do for the Valentine’s Day gifts they’d forgotten to buy. That question is probably being answered around now.

My cold was gone. It has returned, taken up residence in my ears and turned me into a bumbling wreck. Tonight I have broken the microwave, put a plastic dish in the oven and melted it, incinerated garlic bread and sent a stroppy message to someone because I misread ‘plants’ as ‘plans.’ Don’t ask.

Road into our village closed for a month. Detour is on tiny lanes used as a rush hour rat run. I drive 2 boys out one way while eldest walks via the closure. His new hobby is telling the cars that ignored me that they can’t get through - then beaming at them on the way back. He’s thinking of…1/2

I have such a stinking cold that my family have been debating the appropriate mourning period in the event of my snotty demise. The 15 year-old floated a week. The 8 year-old was outraged - and pushed for two weeks. The 13 year-old wanted to know how much inconvenience it would entail. #blessed

Central Bath. Renowned for Georgian architecture, no functioning WiFi and the complete and total lack of any phone signal. What it really needs is the removal of all pay machines from a car park in the absolute heart of aforementioned phone signal black hole. ‘Just pay by phone!’ Aaaaaaaaargh!

Just started watching Traitors Uncloaked. Yin was delightfully bonkers. I’m very disappointed we didn’t get her 10-pairs-of-shoes gameplay.