I wanna live in a world where 1 in 5 people are just like Kip's dad #HeatedRivalry

I've been stewing in thoughts and observations for the past 5 days 🙃 Contemplation is my jam this time of year. 2025 was a good and lovely first year on bluesky. 2026...

Skip.

Or that I was never alive?

Reminded me of bloomf @iamtkp.bsky.social

I'm still crying 🤣 My cat ran out when I was bringing groceries in. 3 minutes later, my phone rings. It's an Amazon delivery driver. He says there's a cat on my porch, and it wont move & let him deliver the packages. "I was afraid she was gonna get me." 😭😭 This girl thinks she's top flight security

Ashley, what if I told you that you and Charisse are both losers? She's weird for not handling you in the moment, and you're weird asf for being intimate in any way with your friend's son, who was a minor when you met him #RHOP

I prefer my animate toasters more like this

Y'know what I love about this time of year? After you've purchased and prepared 2 large, expensive holiday meals over the past 5/6 weeks, you get to do it AGAIN on New Year's Eve 😀 We're having shrimp cocktail, spinach & artichoke dip, lil smokies, Rotel, chicken wings, TBD dessert, and Champs 🥂

Omg. Who remembers when "Disaronno & cranberry" was a cultural moment?

Moms in my neighborhood group are asking for suggestions for indoor places to take their kids over winter break, and I'm shuddering at the thought 😬 You couldn't pay me to take my bebes into the germ pools that are indoor winter activities for kids rn. Sorry

Oh.

Just watched Morgan's IG story, and I was literally transported back to my childhood best friend's bedroom

Ryan Coogler says his ‘X-FILES’ series will have a similar structure as the original show “We intend on having both monsters of the week and also the overarching conspiracy” (Source: youtu.be/l0txrwxpGjw?...)

No. It's not just his hair 😏

What am I NOT putting on them? Ranch, BBQ, nacho cheese, truffle aioli, Arby's sauce, horseradish sauce, Cane's sauce, honey mustard, someone stop me

I have a note taped to the memo board in my room... "When I die, tell my friends in the sky. Open the butterfly app." Ok, I don't, but should I?

Immediately followed by an investigation as to why

When celebrities prove to be heinous people, thus preventing us from enjoying their art, we should be able to press criminal charges. What do you mean there are entire music catalogs I can no longer listen to in good conscience? Movies that will never watch the same. GIFs that can never be skeeted

She's Just Not That Into You, please

When you've entered the subconscious/unconscious, you are that girl 💅🏻

I am not a gamer girlie but I played the FUCK out of this game and that "tr-tricky" is something I say out loud all the time

Alright. Tonight begins my New Year's Eve TV episodes and movies marathon 🪩 Up first: Laverne & Shirley

Gonna fry up some sausage and an egg and make me a sammich

So is Kody now Christine's third cousin -twice- removed? #SisterWives

I dont think I've ever appreciated Meri more than I do in this moment. She's got Kody's number, and she's not letting him take an inch. You can physically see every peg she's knocking him down #SisterWives

Take a shot every time Kody says "apologize" #SisterWives

Had a dream that I did a shopping order for someone, & the soda they requested wasn't available, so I replaced it w/ something similar Got a notification later that the customer gave me 5 stars and left a review raving about the "Subskeet" soda substitution I picked for her. Apparently, it's delish

This made me miss my fav Candiace so bad 😢

i hope everyone tells your people you love them today. someone else’s tragedy can be a sobering reminder to not live life with any regrets with the people you love 💗

NW: MST3K

We had such a beautiful day and night here, and we're still going 🥰 Our best Christmas yet since losing my dad and my kids' dad. The vibes were immaculate, the gifts were loved and appreciated, and the food was damn good and gone. Merry Christmas bloomfs! 🎄 ☮️ & 💞

I was 3 carrots and 2 cauliflower deep when I saw it... Pha-lli-la-la-la

Reminder for today and every day... If someone doesn't reciprocate simple kindness or thoughtfulness, it's because they don't want or care to. You can return that energy and/or save yours.

Merry Christmas BlueSkiers!!!

Rosie (8), upon entering the living room on Christmas morning and seeing the crumb-filled plate: "I know you ate these cookies." Me: I don't even like that kind. Then she opens her stocking, looks me right in the eyes, and tilts her head, "Thank you."

NW: A Very Topanga Christmas Do I still have to wrap all the presents? Yep 😀 hence the Bloom. And it reminds me of my bloom mfs 🥰

Tonight's momosa is brought to you by Seagram's ginger ale, peach mango Bloom, and Chardonnay Sponsored by this Nutcracker ensemble The glass being that full puts the mom in momosa 🥂

Growing up, we always did one by one, so I kept that tradition with my kids. But a few years ago, they had so many presents, it was insane, so I let them open all at once. It was chaotic and I hated it. I vowed to NEVER go gift crazy like that again, and we're back to taking turns.

25 Days of Christmas Movies Day 24: National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation My Christmas Eve tradition... Watching this with a moose mug full of boozy eggnog. Clark Griswold, his quirky family, and the insanity and disappointment of the holidays 🙂‍↕️

25 Days of Christmas Movies Day 23: Eight Crazy Nights Davey Stone is the town delinquent who's granted one last chance to get his act together. It's all the absurdity you'd expect from an Adam Sandler holiday cartoon. 🎶 That's a Technical Foul still goes triple platinum in my house

I'll never forget watching The Preacher's Wife when I was around 11. My brother walked into the room and said, "Hey, it's Denzel. He's an angel. (Long pause) And he plays one in the movie." 😂🙂‍↕️

Christmas Eve skyline: Baked cookies, meals, movies, decorated trees, family tales Also the Christmas Eve skyline: Yaoi this, yearning that. Cottage this, butt sex that

Took the kids to see the lights tonight. Got home at 10:30 and promptly decorated the outside of my house 😀 Being the Christmas magic maker hits different (derogatory)

Every time I'm shopping for a holiday meal, I think about how glorious it must be to have a large family or friend group gathering where you're only required to make/bring one thing 🥲

Rosie: (Blank stare) "Blue raspberry isn't real." Me: (blank stare) Rosie: "It isn't naturally occurring." Me: (contains Millenial rage)

25 Days of Christmas Movies Day 22: Friday After Next The animated opening credits are their own masterpiece. Craig & Day-Day have to find a way to make their rent money after they're robbed on Christmas Eve by a crackhead Santa. Top flight security shenanigans ensue. Sooo many quotable lines

Cats keep fuckin up the tree skirts immediately after I fix them again

Went out to do some almost Christmas shopping and the license plate on a car in front of me read: BLEGGH, and I felt that