I wanna have kids before my parents die, but I DO NOT want to discuss with my wife the problems my drinking is causing in our marriage. - a man #SummerHouse

This is triggering... I don't even know where to begin 😅 I hope Amanda and Kyle can both live the lives they want to now #SummerHouse

"He's such a fucking baby sometimes." West, I'm with you when you're right #SummerHouse

Apology dune son or sprinter van daughter? #SummerHouse

I think I glitched when perpetually drunk at bedtime guy said his wife is too high and tired to talk to him at night. We've literally been watching an incoherent Kyle drunkenly stumble into bed for 8 years #SummerHouse

Slowly realizing someone's shtick is, in fact, not a shtick... it's gone too far!

🥹 Omg I totally get bloomfs Olympics interest now

Evan, after getting away with cheating and emotional manipulation #TellMeLies

My hero 🥰🥰 #TellMeLies

stephen driving off in his g-wagon after blowing up his friends lives and humiliating lucy one last time #tellmelies

This prompt made me realize I love a LOT of songs about cheating 🤭 youtu.be/U32J1Fj-EZg?...

I hate to be that guy again (jk I love it 💕) NW: Valentine's Day

Megan Thee Stallion’s upcoming anime series is reportedly titled ‘Hotties.’ The series will be produced by The Boondocks producer Carl Jones and is set to release soon on Prime Video.

Man in front of me at customer service is sending $300 via WU to a woman in Oklahoma. He doesn't know how to spell her name 🤔 Happy Valentine's Day to that scammer queen 💌

Roses are red Snakes are green Totally would Yknow what I mean 😏

Cartoon: If anyone in Chicago knows this school or an anti ICE organization affiliated with them I would be happy to donate this art. I only wish I could have fully Sal Buscema-ed that punch :)

happy valentine’s day to this video

Sometimes when I'm bored I just

Mink 👊🏻 "YOU CAN GO PEACEFULLY FUCK YOURSELF!" 👌🏻

Gonna run to the store and grab some Valentine's Day treats for my little loves 💕 I am seriously considering getting my middle child something extra because my oldest and youngest treated me like a red-headed stepsibling when I tried to spectate their Brawlhalla match last night

"I went over there so you guys don't have to" OR... or you could just not, and we could remain blissfully unaware and unburdened by the dumpster fire

See. This is what drafts are for. My Traitors take that would piss more people off tonight than it will tomorrow 😊

And what if I said that Rob is the gamer you were hoping to root for all along, join the robby bobby lobby it's not too late. #TheTraitorsUS

Anyway, I was gonna say how on a scale of 1-10, a "split" nail is a solid 9 emergency for me. When it happens, everything stops & nothing matters until I can remedy my uneven nail. I literally can't focus on anything else.

I was tonight years old when I learned that a hangnail is actually the tiny piece of torn skin along the cuticle and not what you call an actual split/broken nail 😐 Life comes at you fast.

I love when you guys share your art and creations! Bloomfs are so talented!! 😍 (I am too, but I have zero follow-through 😀 Motivation find me, abeg)

a reminder that it's free to be kind

HOPES to BEGIN?!?

I started Fallout last night cause it looked cool, and it is. Big fucking jumpscare in episode 2, where -that guy- is, to no one's surprise, yelling obscenities at a black man. Glad they offed him quickly.

Congrats to anyone who's had success on dating apps, but I would never ever EVER. I've seen horror stories that didn't even get past introductions. Men are scary.

Bluesky demands: ▪️Turn off reposts by account ▪️Mute words by account

Jill Zarin is having the day she deserves 😊

Alan's receiving heavy side-eye from me. On WWHL, he not only forgot Danielle's name, he couldn't name Sheree or Ciara when shown their photos, but he remembered who random ass civilian white guy Michael from season 1 was 🤨

Teenage mutant ninja turtles:

We're finally getting the third installment of The Mummy!!!

Silly me, remembering I can literally mute any grouping of words and never see them again! Goodbye forever, small annoyance

There's a report of a bar owner who upset patrons by refusing to play the halftime show during the Superbowl. Here is further proof that white men are the reason we don't have nice things

Got a skincare sample from Sephora and fell in love with it. You know what that means: it's pricy, and they no longer carry it 😃 I may have to splurge on the brand website. It's so good 😮‍💨

First charter of the season and the carpets are TRASHED. These women are... #BelowDeckDownUnder

Captain Jason talking to the fish about João's body #BelowDeckDownUnder

Say what you want about Ben, but who's doing it like him? 🤌🏻 #BelowDeckDownUnder

That's a daddy joke from you, Captain 😘 #BelowDeckDownUnder

Alesia calling her mom to complain and get support. Alesia's mom: "Poor Ben." 😭😭 "I don't live in a chef culture that is volatile like this." Babe... you don't live in a chef anything 🥲 #BelowDeckDownUnder

"I'm manifesting to become each and every one of these women." I know she means rich, but girly take that back before it's too late #BelowDeckDownUnder

When that crypto commercial started playing karaoke Backstreet Boys, I was confused and genuinely thought maybe the network had been hacked 😂

Bloomfs when they hit the Discover page: Ugh. Who are these people? What do they want?! Leave me alone! Me when I hit the Discover page again: Aww. Look at all the strangers giving a small care about my random thought. (mute notifications)

Jesus wept (happy tears)

Maybe a skeet and delete: Ykw... no. fuck that. BBA should not have to make 12 disclaimers for every midnight secret response. Stop being weird in that fucking inbox. More things need to be said with more chest.