If you’re trying to bake with your kid and also trying to let go of your perfectionist tendencies and controlling nature— I see you.

Things I’ve learned about myself- finally: When I’m overwhelmed, I choose to actively further overwhelm myself rather than pull back. Case in point- I’m actively researching marathons to run.

I'm in class tonight and not watching the Lynx. For the first time in my millions of years of schooling, I'm tempted to run the game in the background of my computer...

So is he a liar or is it dementia? Remember- two things can be true at the same time…

Real middle age irritation I probably shouldn’t admit to: Costco stopped selling my favorite underwear

Dear overstimulated, introverted moms: If you’re not wearing one earbud at the playground and listening to what brings you joy- you really should. It helps.

Why’s my toddler crying? I won’t hold her hand while she goes potty. “I need someboddddyyyy to hoollllld my hannnd!!”

To all the “we have the same 24 hrs” people: Getting up early to workout or meditate or touch grass or whatever is a lot easier when you’re not also awake with a toddler from 3-4:30.

What’s the stage of grief where you hide in your basement with your dog?

There’s an ad that comes on our local streaming news often selling a rubber gasket for between your seat and center console in the car. The tag line is “nothing will fall between the cracks again!” HA!

I wake up and clean the kitchen. I make breakfast and then clean the kitchen. I make lunch. I provide 892 snacks. I clean the kitchen. I make dinner. I clean the kitchen before bed. And God help us if we have a baking activity during the day. Ugh.

I’ve become my father. I’m sitting in the car, with it running, waiting for my family to leave for church.

When I was little, the U.S. military came to our home at gunpoint and took me and my family away. We were imprisoned for years in barbed wire camps simply because we were Japanese American. I have spent my life telling that story, hoping it would never be repeated.

It’s a rough morning of news. Again.

A dear friend’s son was drafted into professional baseball tonight. I love being tangentially proud and it’s really weird to be of the age where that’s possible.

Is there a bigger bullshit phrase in American english than “prior authorization”??!!

I’m planning on really tempting fate with my caffeine consumption today. Toddlers are the worst.

Me to 3.5 yr old: you’re making me nuts. 3.5 yr old to me: I’m making you ‘nanas!

Hey moms- I see you. You’re doing so much work and such a good job.

Toddler: daddy, what do you want to order? Spouse: a well behaved kid. Toddler: no.

Spent 3 hours on the toddler’s floor last night. Our fridge is currently out of commission. Spouse still has a broken back. It’s going to be a fine line between barely functioning and wildly over caffeinated today.

The ink isn’t even dry on the sale of the Lynx and Wolves and already A-Fraud is showing his greed. Maybe try and endear yourself to fans and community before begging for them to foot the bill in lining your pockets?? Ugh.

We’ll be ending this #bourdainday with an episode or two. What’s your favorite?

Not only will Melissa and Mark Hortman of course lay in state in St Paul, but their dog will too. Cut my heart out with a spoon…

I have music on while I cook to drown out the absolutely horrific news of the day. Also a 3 yr old. Also a 1 yr old puppy. Also an extrovert husband. Maybe I should switch to ear plugs?

I was a kid during the first invasion of Iraq. A college student during the start of the wars with Afghanistan and Iraq. And now I’m past 40, with a toddler and we’re doing it again. I’m so tired of fragile men.

Where are we finding extra supplies of patience? Can I get it from Costco?

Why’s my toddler crying: In her words “my daddy put me on the couch!” 😭

My 3.5 yr old toddler, 1 yr old bernadoodle, and 40 yr old husband just walked into the bathroom while I was sitting on the toilet. I’m going to loose my bloody mind.

Every night must include at least one of the following: 2:30am existential crisis A blood sugar low requiring candy scrounging A toddler who needs to be put back to bed. And sometimes all three I miss sleeping through the night.

Today’s Queen Stage of the Giro d’Italia was inspiring and epic and emotional and amazing. Chapeau Simon!

Nothing feels as on the nose as my 3.5 yr old yelling “I can’t see the big picture!” at me at 6:45 in the morning.

3.5 yr old: “I have to tell my daddy I need money” Yup.

Why’s my toddler crying? Someone bit her finger. Who someone? Her. She bit her own finger.

The Twins haven’t lost since we put out our flag. We feel some responsibility for the rocky start to the season. We’ve picked up our mantle now though.

There’s a solid chance my spouse thinks Mother’s Day means extra mothering for me, not less. Oy vey, dude.

AirTags on car key rings: Saving marriages since I don’t know when…

We have been parent 3 years, 5 months, and 3 days. She’s been home from the hospital 3 years, 4 months, and 26 days. Why does my spouse still not understand schedule and routine? Willful ignorance is the only possible answer.

Convo overheard between spouse and toddler: S: mommy’s going to go back to school soon T: why? S: because mommy’s good at school…

Dear Minnesota Wild: Toddler just yelled “you got this!” So, do it for her.

We’re an ACAB house and my kid wants to watch Paw Patrol. Bloody copoganda.

It’s 8:35 am and I’d like to quit for the day. Thanks. Bye.

@nytpitchbot.bsky.social this you??

It’s really too bad that FERPA prevents us from knowing if he was ever rejected from a program or anything else at Harvard. Because that’s sure what this feels like.

This last bite of pimento cheese is for you Rory. Cheers. Well done.

Middle of the night thoughts from putting my toddler back to bed: Why does Bandit Heeler have underpants laying around? (Thinking Sleepytime, but other times too)

You set the house on fire, watched it burn, and then lost your nerve and put it out. You now have a partially burned house. Great job.

3 year old has had me up since 4. She pooped on the bathroom floor at 7. The dog puked at 7:30 in the kitchen. I don’t know if I can summon the energy for a #HandsOff march today. I want to, but this season of life is besting me. The guilt is big.

So we’re 75 days into trumps second term, people are protesting everywhere. Markets have had two days of absolutely apocalyptic losses. There are grad students being disappeared and a man with an autism awareness tattoo was sent to a super scary prison in El Salvador. They’ve cut cancer research..

On the days I want to sell my kid to the circus I’ve decided to start writing her letters to be read many years from now. At least it’s making me feel a little bit better.