Dogs are out lounging in the sun on the first warm day in weeks

Biathletes are used to having two of everything

This is a goddamn tragedy.

Extremely Autistic Defensive Coordinator is one of the surest head coaches hirings you can possibly make

Pats OL tonight

Braves winning it all this year

We hate seeing hot people dance don't we fellow citizens

Wow only the second non-English halftime show in Super Bowl history (Bruce Springsteen, 2009)

Can you believe this dumbass country took 190 years to come up with the super bowl

what da fuck

Jimmy Fallon hosting the Muppet Show and getting literally beaten to death by a bunch of dolls

Andre Abocelli

Finally figured out why I didn't qualify for the Olympics: I've been EJECTING fluid from my penis this whole time

Skubal DFA when

Robins are out and taking over the yard

Windows just keeps getting better (Office installs updates nearly every night and closes every program I had open)

The Braves Superstation

Writing an exposé on the poorest person featured in the Epstein files. Was it charisma, good looks, or a heart of pure evil that got them into the club?

Who wants to figure out how the bird got in the screened-in porch

Started snowing in the past hour and it's supposed to continue through the evening but neighbor's adult failson is out shoveling the driveway

Yeah he was crashing it

Tried to run on the greenway near my house this afternoon and ended up scooting along on my ass for about 50 feet down a slight incline which was covered in an inch of ice

Those masked assholes are attacking random families from moving vehicles now?

I can't believe Bill Belichick did steroids for all those years without anyone finding out before now

Bad news: the doomsday clock has been set to 6:07

Someone should start an independent, prestige sports website backed by VC money, hire many of the top writers in the business, then sell the product to the Washington Post when the Post realizes it would benefit from having sports coverage. You could call it The Physically Fit or something

Falcons go get Stidham I'm convinced

[Tony Montana voice] Nobody puts baby in a corner

Audiences are clamoring for tickets to Wuthering Heights after it was revealed that the Heathcliff being played by Jacob Elordi is actually none other than Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable

Get Josh Allen to Atlanta

Anybody have tips to prepare for forecasted weekend snow accumulation of five times the annual average? We have a lot of booze already

Why was Macron wearing sunglasses? Giving a cheesy "the future is bright" pep talk?

Any chance the minor electrical issue was in his heart?

Very excited to be following the news a few weeks before my train-heavy Spain trip

Andruw my man!

The nation of Turkiye has announced they're changing the name again: "We would like to be known as Tyreke. It uses similar letters and sounds cooler. If this name had existed centuries ago, you can bet we never would've gone with Turkey."

Uhhh I sort of forgot there was a football game last night

Is this game going to end Stroud's career?

How hard could it be?

The missing N foreshadowed the absence of Bo Nix going forward

That's a catch

Now that he's a Met I'll be pronouncing Bichette like machete

Had a very Nice meal at a French restaurant tonight. DO YOU GET IT

I asked Rainbolt, the best Geoguessr in the world, to help us investigate the Epstein Files. And tell us his secret origin story, as a guy running a Steph Curry IG fan account: youtu.be/v01eKPK0m20?...

It's been nine years since we had a president who was physically capable of playing basketball

I wish I could get suspended for the purest form of first amendment expression

The provocation? Telling him that the screws he was looking for were 3/8" when they were really 1/4"

I'm gonna convince Trump to mint the trillion-dollar coin and keep it for himself

You've gotta love software