Heard Tarantino say this has the best opening scene of all time. I'll report back.

My publisher sent me Head Cleaner bookplates and bookmarks to send out to booksellers who requested them. They sent me a *ton* of these so if any more bookstores want some just let me know. Check it out. They kinda look like little TVs. And you can watch my handwriting deteriorate in real time.

Every office job I've had was torture yet some of my favorite movies look like this.

A new cassette? From a band I like? Made it a different color than the CD? Gives me a reason to dust off the Walkman? I had to get it.

This computer gives unsolicited writing advice.

Guys, ANGEL DOWN won the Pulitzer Prize. Let’s get nuts.

Huge congratulations to Daniel Kraus for just winning the Pulitzer Prize (!!!!!!!) Also these two books are going out of print this month.

My sister-in-law got me this thing as a joke so I wouldn't have to touch doorknobs or elevator buttons. Kinda works! Now I just need a thousand more to throw them away after each use.

I feel exactly the same.

"Wildcattin' was written in a kind of obsolete vernacular." (but don't worry there's a glossary in the back)

this car hasn't finished rendering

Play the five tones.

Revising.

Studios when they hear my Head Cleaner movie pitch.

How does this happen.

From the director of Lethal Weapon it's The Banana Splits! Murtaugh: "I'm too high for this shit."

Shallow Ends THE SHOW is still hanging on. At least it's not a "no" yet? Here are some before and after shots from a crude pitch video.

Saw this on the beach today. Wooden satellite dish? Flying fish catcher? Crabapult?

I made this for you.

All the sun-bleached movie posters in the window at this record store really pinpoint a time when they still bothered with movie posters.

I found the monster! Look out above your — oh wait, that's the boom mic. [Blood Beach, 1980]

When a reviewer says my attempts at humor ruined the book.

I never knew what was on the cover of this. Would it surprise you to know it was a bridge? Look it's a little teeny person.

I would have checked out Patriot a lot sooner if someone would have told me it features a Benchmade 940.

Thanks everybody still sending me Head Cleaner shelfies! B&N's at Mall of America, Fallen Timbers, Gilroy, plus indie shops like Word Brooklyn, Penguin Bookshop Pittsburgh, Bookshop Santa Cruz, Green Apple Bookstores in the Bay (I think?) Fantask in Denmark (!) somewhere in New Zealand (!!!)

When the tent finally floats away it leaves behind a family of skeletons then it drifts over to the next house.

Imagine just getting fired from your job, car got towed, lost a shoe in a puddle, you need a drink and these two guys pop up from behind the bar.

On April Fools' Day my family put a mannequin with a creepy mask on the porch to scare me but I saw it on our cameras and realized what was going on so when they asked if I got the mail I opened the door and pretended to be surprised by punching the mannequin in the face. Check out that distance.

If you know you know. (Okay I'll tell you. This CD is an actual villain in this book)

I'm always shocked to hear Dewey's Theme from Scream in its original incarnation: the music cue for one of the corniest villain intros of all time.

"Anyone with an arsenal of film tropes at their disposal should be able talk their way out of a bullet." A Head Cleaner conversation over at Volume 1 Brooklyn and a picture of me driving a car. www.vol1brooklyn.com/2023/05/22/a...

Why are some movie titles in quotes?

Pig Iron blurb from a neo-Western titan: "The dialogue is fantastic... a mix of humor, aggression, random opinions, and perilous susceptibility to surprising acts of violence. Eccentric, unexpected, yet spot-on." -Ron Hansen, author of The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford

Good Will Hunting: Robin Williams calls Matt Damon's parole officer when he skips town.

 ♪ Here Comes Peter Cottontail* ♪  *General Woundwort

Look at that feast! That's probably 43 uses of the word "numbnuts" in one place right there.

Deep in THE VAULT for the monthly changing of the guard.

Another one just hatched. Needs something in its belly.

I'm 99.9% sure this email wasn't really from William Gibson.

They're like puzzles that only made sense when I was packing them.

A storm blew over a giant tree. I'm shocked how tiny the roots seem to be. Is this normal.

In Backdraft they needed someone who looked like both Kurt Russell and William Baldwin to play their dad in flashbacks so someone just shrugged and glued Baldwin family eyebrows onto Kurt Russell to split the difference.

There are worse things than the male loneliness epidemic.

Poetic Justice had a poet named Justice but not a single moment of poetic justice. Project Hail Mary doesn't have anyone named Hal or Mary but does it have someone throwing a ball really far hoping someone catches it? STAY TUNED.

I turn this... into this. Books are on the way. Watch your mail, weirdos!

Lots of movies about writing, including Wonder Boys, but something that really sets it apart is how much it's also about READING: Reading in the car, reading in bed, swiping manuscripts, keeping library books past the due date, chasing down someone's pages before they get blown into the river...

Get yourself someone who looks at you the way everyone in the last Mission Impossible movie looks at small objects.

[Fredo voice]: "I park smart! Not like everybody says... like dumb!"

In an alternate timeline Eddie Money will be remembered as OFFICER MAHONEY.

Weird chunks of wood hanging on this power line. How?