"Thank you for attending this meeting. You'll find all relevant materials in front of you."

BI HEPY?

Good Will Hunting: Robin Williams calls Matt Damon's parole officer when he skips town.

Just in time for The Year of the Fire Horse, PIG IRON is back! It's got a new publisher, a new paint job, and some other surprises. I missed the cheeky warning stickers we slapped all over the first version so I bought a roll of these "ARC" and "Shock Hazard!" stickers for the stack. Felt right.

I went to the nearest Barnes & Noble and awkwardly explained to someone at the help desk that I had a new book out and asked where it might be (it's genre fluid) and it was faced out (!) Then she took some pictures, had me sign their books, and said they'd already sold a copy. A win/win/win.

This is their dream. We call it "crowing out." And today the dream finally came at a reasonable price.

If you could change the ending of one movie what would it be?

When you grab a basket at the grocery store but also add a little of that razzle dazzle.

I’ve read the opener, and if it holds up, GET THIS BOOK! Especially if it’s a giveaway. Author has a voice! Brilliant cover, David.

Giveaway ends today. Ten copies up for grabs.

Few DVDs overdid inserts like Tim Burton's unessential Planet of the Apes. Next to the CD-ROM ("Home video is EVOLVING! Primate-packed extras!" Huh?) and no less than 3 cards with the same info, they also included a handy chart to make sense of a very straightforward and childlike time-travel plot.

I drew one of these cats but it wasn't my best.

Some pics from my Head Cleaner release party that I forgot to post with everything going on in the world. Gave away books and stuff and had a great time down at Balefire Brewery seeing everybody. Anyone who ate that expired Death Chip won everything in the prize box* *luckily nobody ate it

The perfect caption for the Oswald-style fake pictures in F1.

In their infinite wisdom Goodreads has blocked reviews from being posted on here and turned the links into "sign in" prompts to encourage membership, so without any real, not-terrible review venue I've resorted to screenshots and Catwoman straws. For now.

Epic "treehouse" construction in our backyard. Definitely gonna read and/or write some books up there.

Too cold for the tourists tonight. Only their driftwood sculptures remain.

From Wikipedia: "The woman balancing a book on her head is thought to be a satire of the Flemish custom of wearing amulets made out of books and scripture, a pictogram for the word phylactery. Otherwise, she is thought to depict folly."

"Dear Diary, my middle-aged angst has a body count. Coupland was a boomer—this is the sci-fi crime novel for Generation X." -Nick Mamatas, author of Kalivas! Or, Another Tempest and I Am Providence

My gentle Puck, come hither.

Rereading Miracleman at the behest of a student and even though this was my third time through I STILL don't know who this dude is (was) in "underspace" or whatever it's called. Send help!

more like The Running TIME amirite

Next up, a massive thank you to @daturabooks.bsky.social and David James Keaton for sending me a copy of #HeadCleaner 📼 Obsessed with the VHS cover! A nostalgic blend of thriller, sci-fi and horror, I cannot wait to read this! 😀 💙📚

In the '80s you were nobody if you couldn't solve the Boobik's Cube in ten moves or less.

“Made to be injected directly into my Gen X veins. A true and original page turner and I recommend it to everyone (and extra recommend it to my fellow ex-Blockbuster employees!)" -Amber Sparks, author of And I Do Not Forgive You, named a Best Book of 2020 by The Washington Post and NPR

Getting some real CLIFFORD vibes from the early scenes in Frida.

They're giving away 10 copies of Head Cleaner! 44 countries are eligible. Giveaway ends on March 7th. app.thestorygraph.com/giveaways/9c...

Never heard this before except for the song "She's a Beauty." I predict they either sound like Foreigner or Toto.

New rage level unlocked. "The process to scan these books ultimately destroyed them." lithub.com/anthropic-di...

A HEAD CLEANER recommendation in Paste Magazine that compares it to one of the worst TV shows I've ever seen! "Two entirely different takes on the life of 'the last Blockbuster video store in the United States' will be joining the pop culture conversation." www.pastemagazine.com/books/book-r...

When you buy a book from me you might get those fancy decorative edges.

How your email finds me.

Nothing like a package of books to brighten a day.

Whoever was filming that Budweiser horse raise that baby computer generated bald eagle could have rescued it from the rain at any time.

"For readers who enjoy Chuck Palahniuk and Lauren Beukes.” -Library Journal

Another drunk octopus wants to fight. They're particularly dangerous out of the water.

"The car is making funny sounds when it's not running." "Like what sounds?" "Like it ate something it didn't agree with?" [skeptical]: "Yeah, okay, dude." 5 MINUTES LATER...

See some of y’all in San Jose before too long, here:

I went to the nearest Barnes & Noble and awkwardly explained to someone at the help desk that I had a new book out and asked where it might be (it's genre fluid) and it was faced out (!) Then she took some pictures, had me sign their books, and said they'd already sold a copy. A win/win/win.

What does Flyboy type in Dawn of the Dead?

Me every time I get to the peyote scene in Young Guns.

Who ordered this?

#bookmail time! Pretenders to the Throne of God by @aptshadow.bsky.social 12 Feb The Library of Traumatic Memory by Neil Jordan 12 March Head Cleaner by @spiderfrog.bsky.social Out Now Thank you @headofzeus.bsky.social @daturabooks.bsky.social 1/4

Can we dial down the rhetoric here?

"A far-out premise, and Keaton doesn't shy away from it: this is a wacky, entertaining, occasionally terrifying story. The writing is light and breezy on the surface but with dark undercurrents that keep the reader just a little bit off-kilter. If that sounds like great fun, you're right." -Booklist

the things you see while mailing out books

Get yourself someone who looks at you the way everyone in the last Mission Impossible movie looks at small objects.

Sorry for this small celebration in the middle of everything going on but my novel Head Cleaner gets its second chance today and I should try to get the word out... On shelves now! And thank you everybody who who checked it out and spread that word. Also here I am ruining more videotapes.

Watching Final Reckoning and wondering who was clamoring for the triumphant return of Guy Who Shit Himself from the first movie.

Out tomorrow! p.s. Today is the last day to get a Netgalley copy of Head Cleaner for review before they archive it: www.netgalley.com/catalog/book...