MIL has two sisters. One is wealthy, one is not. Sister two lives in a three storey townhouse and is having health problems. Wealthy sister offers to pay for stair lifts. Instead of saying thank you, other sister says SHE WANTS AN ELEVATOR. AN ELEVATOR

HAM OVERBOARD FULL REVERSE

Fuck I have got to quit kicking the wasp nest but when I log in there’s always some asshole message to annoy the hell out of me.

@zenobiapaints.bsky.social What’s the English name for the tea leaf dish, you remove from the package, put it in a pretty dish, then pour it into the pot. Have you ever seen them in gold and lacquer, painted onto what looks like a rubber tree leaf? Help me Obi-Tea.

Scarf of the day! Color “People Eater” BFL from Frabjous Fibers. I added the glitter before I spun it. In seed stitch so it doesn’t curl.

And hub forgot the ham so we’re turning around.

We’re almost on the road and it just started snowing.

Oh fuck a duck, we’re going to drive into lake effect snow. We’re headed to Ohio to spend the holiday with my MIL. (For new folks.) My FIL, her husband of 50+ years, died last month. In kid’s words, “not going would make us the biggest assholes on earth.”

This whole series is a lot of fun (and to borrow from yesterday’s discussion, is on my “movies I would force a studio to make if I were a despot” list, right after I had them expand my college buddy’s short film into a feature-length musical).

I just got a text message telling me my baby printer (it does photos) is low on ink. IT’S A THERMAL PRINTER. There is no fucking ink. Way to go, HP.

clearly i need to Post More Bird. as if that wasnt my sole purpose online already

THINGS ARE GETTING OUT OF HAND. What is the name used for all these crazy one-off cuts? Fantasy? They have to call them something. (Also, ooooh, pretty.) youtube.com/shorts/GCoES...

I am glad to hear that no violence ensued and no one needed bail money. (AND that they let you in to the damn appointment.) When you feel the need for distraction, a fine thread of holiday food war stories is beginning to happen here: bsky.app/profile/clai...

“I brought my stick to stir the pot!” Your husbeast quote of the day. I think it was about mixing the stuff in the ultrasound tank, but it came up in a discussion of co-irkers.

All rightie. I mentioned moving some threads from the bird site over to here, and this is the first. I was talking about the theory that Queen Mary bought up a bunch of Russian jewelry and locked it up for later. #JewelWatch #RoyalWatch We still have this one, the Russian Nuptial Tiara:

The Diplomat S3E4 totally plays up the inability to sit in a dress. Kate asks for a simple dress, instead gets a beautiful sequin dress. She can barely zip it. She can’t sit down. She tries to get nailed in an office but the dress does not cooperate. Finally she needs Secret Service help to remove.

Hey @juliethecranky.bsky.social I can’t remember you talking about this, but in case you haven’t seen it

Oh, huh, it’s a bit like one of the things these guys bought to show how they are scams. youtu.be/nanCGeac_-Q?...

She is on Youtube and is HILARIOUS. Her fashion stuff is always great. Occasionally she will post something that she wants or makes her laugh and those are good too.

Bright blessings on the Dollar Tree on the way. They opened early so we could get water for the radiator, and they wouldn’t even take money for it.

I told my shrink one thing with me is that health stuff always goes wrong. (I’m okay, and at home.) We left the house with an hour and a half to spare, because we hate rush hour all day. Bottom hose blew off the radiator, hub fixed it with random stuff in the truck, but we were running late.

THIS. youtube.com/shorts/CVbar...

What the F(@*^$(*& is THAT?!?!?

I wanna chuck it all, move to New York, and become a stylist to the stars.

Wut?

I never know what in hell is going to appeal to y'all.

Speaking of people who're hitting the Ozempic and having their faces thin down to weirdness, this is Gwenneth Paltrow. Yes. I know.

Geez, I'm flipping through red carpet looks and it's like EVERYONE is on new diet drugs and losing weight so fast their faces don't look like them.

-heavy sigh-

New folks wondering what the hell we're talking about with Russian jewelry and scandals, here you go. bsky.app/profile/juli...

Queen Camshaft wearing the Greville Bequest Emerald Kokoshnik tiara. Made by Boucheron, in France. Not the possibly-Russian tiara Meghan wanted for her wedding. Cam's digging into the Vault. We may get a scandal, yet. Lots of editorializing in the alt text.

In with en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Concret...

More expertise! This is the same reason aircraft carriers float, as I understand it.

Someone who knows something! Huzzah! My knowledge of cement canoes has mostly been acquired at bars around Ohio State's Columbus campus, thirty-odd years ago, so. Behold. Facts!

My phone kicked out another picture of Honu. This was right after we adopted her and she was still smol and skinny.

Princess Kate goes with "fuck it, what's in my closet?" www.celebitchy.com/951353/princ...

HELLOOOOO antiai.biz @brewtblacklist.bsky.social @sesshabatto.bsky.social @tinkeringtailortom.bsky.social @juliethecranky.bsky.social @tmfloressb.bsky.social @badgercult.bsky.social @steveh11.bsky.social @pissgums.bsky.social @justcallmefrank.bsky.social #pockets

@patmak.bsky.social @juliethecranky.bsky.social @tisiphone.bsky.social @surlyamy.bsky.social @katmandu.bsky.social Hundred-year-old music uploaded!

@juliethecranky.bsky.social You will LOVE this! www.instagram.com/p/DRIg69fjYk...

I have fallen down a rabbit hole about “reef balls,” which are hollow concrete structures with holes in them, used for reef restoration. Fairly low tech*, look kinda like an upside-down orchid pot. *apparently the concrete mix is somewhat high tech

Convertible tiara. www.tiara-mania.com/2017/04/cala...

Look at this. Cables that don't connect, a weird-ass 3D wolf nose sticking out of the middle, a size chart that prioritizes metric for a company allegedly based in NC, and zero indication of fiber content. Oh, and it's $103. This isn't even a *good* scam www.dravoks.com/products/men...

@juliethecranky.bsky.social Didn't you use to use something like this for your writing or am I going senile in my old age?

Merriam-Webs takes on autocarrot, @juliethecranky.bsky.social 😄

Y’all, it’s on the Heist List, or should be. I’ll dream of us all doing an Ocean’s Eight to steal it. THE WINTER EGG! (It’s my favorite.)

@juliethecranky.bsky.social JULIE!!! LOOK AT THE CHRISTIES WEBSITE. FABERGE SALE. THE WINTER EGG IS ON AUCTION!!! THE WINTER EGG.

The trick is not to look for logic or reason, just say what feels right and there will always be someone willing to correct you 😄