“Nothing like a good swim beats a hot day! That and lugging your butt in the locker room…”

They sadly nerfed my fat in the demo though…. oh well.

“Did Tuba learn ANYTHING from Lab Safety 101?! Not to drink or eat anything in the lab?!”

“Those bubbles are all going into one place that also starts with a b…”

“Right in the ass of… y’know!”

“Tubas trying again for a nice bod for the hot weather, but he’ll probably lose it all inflating himself or getting fat again, so just let him have his moment!”

“Tuba’s been AWOL recently because of spring break! And by spring break I mean being stuck in a pool begging for a dozen more cold drinks or two…”

Hey everyone, just wanted to wish you guys a Happy St. Patrick’s Day! Apologies that I have no piece, I am currently traveling, but I should be back into the groove soon! Have a great one, and celebrate responsibly!! 🍀💚

“Tuba HATES math jokes, but truth be told that a single slice plus a fat crow just means a big sloshy berry in the end!”

“It serves as a nice headrest don’t ya think?”

“Crikey, let’s hope he doesn’t pop into confetti again…”

“I think you can guess what his favorite Mario power-up is…” Happy MAR10 Day!! 🍄🎈

“Three cheers… or… three chuggings for Dodo for 30 years of fat in Super Mario RPG!”

“Whatever you put inside that fridge, it’s his now. No takebacks!”

“Someone should’ve checked what kind of balloons to have at the celebration first before releasing ‘em!!”

“Alien Soldier is fucking hard, but is it as hard and taut as a drum like Epsilon Eagle here?”

“The cockier the crow, the creakier he gets!”

“Tuba’s done Marco March a few times now… but how about something for Muscle March too?”

“Damn! Everyone run for the hills, it’s Fatzilla!”

“Ending off the month with another species swap of Tuba for the day!” Gotta end the month with a FebROOuary piece! 🦘

“It’s easy to tell which folks don’t read the warning signs before going on the nature walk!”

“Man Getting Hit By Football has nothing on this!”

“He was allowed one cheeseburger, but how… was never specified!”

“Are these hips regulation size for the sumo ring?”

“Hands off my cock takes a whole new meaning!”

“D-Did he… confuse the airtank as… food?!”

“It’s somehow hot in February, but if it’s National Mint Chocolate day today, then that’s a perfect way to enjoy the day!”

“It’s the year of the horse, and while Tuba will always be a crow, it doesn’t mean he isn’t immune to being one for a day!” Happy Lunar New Year for those who celebrate! 🐴

“If you’re lucky with the Monster Master vocation, you might summon a really rare Drakulard where he’s extra fat!”

“He’s known as not only the god of love, but the god of ludicrous amounts of fat and feathers inside him!” Happy Valentine’s Day! 🩷

“He thought he’d taste like blue raspberry…”

“Those skis must be made outta thick metal if it can withstand that much weight!”

“Big wins call for big celebrations! Such as being a big blimp…”

“Why pay millions for a 30 second ad when you can pay a fraction and put it on a big bird blimp?”

“On the bright side, he doesn’t have to worry about not having a table to eat on anymore…”

“Serves him right for tryna get rid of that Ocean’s Protection off ya!”

“Important tasks are best put as bright post-it notes!”

“We better be getting paid more than overtime if we try taking him out… and that’s not accounting his other minions!”

“As the wind blows, so does the fat crow…”

“Someone on the team isn’t gonna be happy when they see their soda is missing from the cooler…”

“10 hour flight, where are you sitti- damnit Tuba!”

“I just got a secret preview of the new Tomodachi Life game and what the fuck.”

“Always gotta be prepared to have extra oxygen in any situation!”

“It’s obvious, but you can’t spell Biggie Cheese without BIG.”

“It’s a P-Balloon Mouser, you’re getting inflated!”

“Wait, he’s saying this like it’s a bad thing?”

“I think there’s bigger questions than anything about Divine Beasts…”

“Some? Please, I’ll give you my entire inventory’s worth!”

“Tuba decided to go for an… old-school look for once…”

“So fat he’s gotta lift his moobs to see his trophy!” Featuring a @squishyorca.bsky.social cameo as the trophy!