I take it back

My god I hate Chelsea

What the fuck is happening

Merino looks shaky as hell

Every yellow card shown makes it more ridiculous that Caicedo, possibly the most violent player on this pitch, wasn't booked in the opening minutes.

This match is not finishing 11v11. Any bets on which team gets the first red?

First yellow is us? Give me a break

Five minutes in and pretty clear bias against Arsenal

One of these days it’ll heal

The best part about everything is nothing

This is nothing but bullshit.

Today could have been an email

Bilbao Baggins

I love how Doc Holliday is just walking around hanging out with TB, and everyone’s just cool with it

The secret to world peace lies within the mosh pit

See, this is why people like Havertz. Nice guy, team player, and considerate enough to get injured while the transfer window is still open lol

Gonna be honest, William Hung wasn’t even that bad

Actually can’t believe we won this game. Hell yeah though

Beautiful night to beat Seattle #mnufc #loons

I hope Pepsi is okay 😧

The third kit looks even better in person - my god

Oh, I’m sorry, I thought Gyokeres doesn’t score headers????!!!

New King of the Hill is so good

I've never seen a team with more sponsors than ASL. It's the soccer equivalent of Wall Drug. #mnufc

Obviously, it's preseason, but I can't figure out what's happening with this squad - seems so disjointed and there just doesn't seem to be much verticality. Dowman is phenomenal to watch, but it doesn't feel great that one of the best performers out there is a 15 year old.

The pettiest thing that takes me out of a fantasy novel is when the author replaces modern day curse words/expressions with the corniest shit you've ever heard in your entire life.

I love this team so god damn much

Oh my god, that Markanich goal was absolutely incredible

Storm vibes

It's actually crazy to me that Coldplay is one of the biggest bands in the world

Lost the PKs (who cares), but saw some fun stuff out there. More than anything, just excited to see the boys playing again

Time to give Metaphor a fair shot

Looks awful, I’m in

Love a good St. Clair save

It’s always a good night for ribs

I am going to buy this

really wish they made mediums and a half

I did an outdoor yoga class in a minneapolis park the other day. And my husband is, right now, playing softball in a Minneapolis park. My son is, right now, standing on dock fishing for northern pike, also in a Minneapolis park. Stephen Miller doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about.

Thursdays are for Commander. Taking Terra out for a spin! #mtg #ffmtg #ffvi

When I was a kid, I remember thinking Captain America was super lame, and now, 25 years later, I feel the exact same way

ham

Stunt casting is lame.

Love Island, but one of the guys is Milton from Office Space

On today’s episode of “Why is this on my phone?”

Sisterhood of the Unraveling Plans