WARNING: UNLESS DESCRIBING PIZZA, SANDWICHES, OR SOME OTHER EDIBLE SUBSTANCE, AVOID THE TASTE OF CHICAGO AT ALL COSTS. 🍕 🥪 🌉 💩

CORNERFEST '26 STARTS TODAY.

WARNING: SANTA HAS NO BUSINESS INSIDE A BANK. IF YOU SEE SANTA MAKING A WITHDRAWL, HEAD TO THE NEAREST CHILLUMINATI PYLON AND CONTACT OUR DARK BUT WHIMSICAL CRIME TASK FORCE. 🎅 💰 🙌 🏦

NOTICE: AGENT "ALEX" HAS REQUESTED GLOBAL DISTRIBUTION OF THE FOLLOWING DOCUMENTS. PLEASE ENJOY YOUR NON-DENOMINATIONAL HOLIDAYS AND IF THE SONGS SPEAK TO YOU, LIKE, LITERALLY, DON'T LISTEN. IF YOU DO, THE CHILLUMINATI CANNOT BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE. ❄️🎵🎄 open.spotify.com/playlist/5oI...

IT'S GETTING COLDER AGENTS, PLEASE NOTE THIS SUBTLE CHANGE IN TEMPERATURE HAS BEEN NOTED BY OUR IN HOUSE ARTIST, @melectro.bsky.social. FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY, DON'T FORGET TO WEAR YOUR STANDARD ISSUE CHILLUMINATI ANTI-GNOME TINSEL. ❄🔺👁👃👁

WARNING: ALIEN CONTACT CAN BE A RELIGIOUS, ECSTATIC, ALMOST SEXUAL EXPERIENCE. ALMOST. PLEASE SUBSCRIBE. 👽⛪👅💦

NOTICE: SOME WAYS OF KICKING THE POOR WHEN THEY’RE DOWN ARE MORE OBVIOUS THAN OTHERS. BEWARE RICH ASSHOLES IN RED. 🖌️🤑🐎

AGENT COX HAS REQUESTED THAT ANY TULPAMANCERS SHOULD SENT THEIR CUSTOM PONY FRIENDS TO MEET HIM FOR CATALOGUING PURPOSES. FIND HIM AT @jessecox.bsky.social👶🐴🌈

Did you know you can find the @chilluminatipod.fm 's own Boston Baked Bean Boy™️ in a little game called Spooksville, USA That you can play for free in your browser? share.google/nRKpzMTKDAwY... Let me know if you find all his legal nugs!

NOTICE: THE EARTH HAS JUST BEEN DESIGNATED AN “AT YOUR OWN RISK” TRAVEL DESTINATION BY CHILLUMINATI GALACTIC. GET ME A CRUNCHWRAP IF YOU GO, THO. ✌️🌮⚠

400 follows? 🙈 I’m Mel. I’m just a lil artist over here, and also I draw unexplained phenomena for @chilluminatipod.fm

BREAKING: GOD JUST SOME SMUG FOURTH DIMENSIONAL ALIEN. 👽 ⛪ 🙏

FINALLY, A BIG BAD REVEAL EVEN MORE UNCOMFORTABLE AND CONFUSING THAN THE RETURN OF SUTEKH. 💋 👻 🟦 (OH YEAH, UHHH, UNIT IS FAKE, BTW. TOTALLY MADE UP ORGANIZATION.)

THIS WHOLE PATREON IS JUST ABOUT SPIDERS. ITS HORRIBLE. AVOID IT. THIS PATREON IS JUST HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF SPIDERS. AHHHHHHHHHH. 🕷️ 🕷️ 🥚 🙅 www.patreon.com/chilluminati...

Precious little creature. (I’m on a big @chilluminatipod.fm binge rn bro)

Don’t fear the reaper, I heard he’s pretty chill. Happy Halloween! @chilluminatipod.fm

THE OFFICIAL CHILLUMINATI HALLOWEEN PLAYLIST IS HERE AND IT'S NINETY STRAIGHT MINUTES OF SPOOKY-THEMED RETRO NOVELTY BLISS. INDOCTRINATE YOUR FRIENDS AT SOCIAL GATHERINGS WHEN THEY HAND YOU THE AUX. 🎃👁🎧 open.spotify.com/playlist/3bT...

Was listening to some @chilluminatipod.fm, and felt like doodlin some Bigfoot.

REMINDER: YOUR BLOOD IS PROBABLY NOT POWDER, AND IF YOU’RE WORRIED, THERE ARE MANY WAYS TO CHECK. 💉 🩸 🧂

Careful what you say on a podcast, they might write it on your tombstone. @chilluminatipod.fm

WARNING: GUEST OF THE POD DAVIS MIGHT BELIEVE THIS IS CHAOS MAGICK, BUT IT IS IN FACT NOT CHAOS MAGICK. WATCH SCARY GAME SQUAD AND KEEP YOUR THIRD EYE OPEN. 🧙🏻‍♂️👁️

THE DEEP STATE CAN'T STOP US FROM UPLOADING OUR NEW BRANDING TODAY, WE WILL NOT BE DESPOOKIFIED (EXCEPT ON REDDIT, THAT'S BIG DOWN) SIQ NEW LOOK FROM @melectro.bsky.social. 🪦👻🪦☠👻

MEMO: THE CHILLUMINATI OFFICE OF STAMPS AND STICKERS IS PROUD TO ANNOUNCE OUR FIRST TOP SECRET STICKER SET FROM ARTIST @doriesdoodles.bsky.social. BUY YOUR OWN STICKER PACKET TODAY AND PARTICIPATE IN THE GRAND EXPERIMENT. 🕵️‍♀️❓🤫🎨 theyetee.com/collections/...

AGENTS, FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY, AVOID THE BLUE HOLE. NO WE WILL NOT EXPLAIN OURSELVES. 🤿🔵❌

Happy #PortfolioDay ! I’m Mel. I play with pen/ink and digital works. Artist for @chilluminatipod.fm You can find more on linktr.ee/melectro

This little @chilluminatipod.fm fan sits as close as he can to Alex’s mic stand so he can get the scoop on episodes early. But YOU can get the scoop by going to Patreon dot c—

REMINDER: DON'T ELECT HYSTERICAL FACIST VIRGINS TO OFFICE. 🙅‍♂️🚫🧙‍♂️🧳

REMINDER: HIGH EFFORT ROASTS ARE SOMETIMES NOT WORTH IT, AND IN RARE CASES MAY CAUSE A BATTLE OF FROGS. 🐸⚔️ 🐸

WARNING: GET TO KNOW YOUR LOCAL WIZARD AND BE KIND TO THEM. 🧙‍♂️🤝🧙

THE OFFICIAL LA MONTH LAUREL CANYON PLAYLIST IS HERE. STUDY IT AND REPORT BACK, AGENTS. 🎵🎸✌ open.spotify.com/playlist/7Id...

WARNING: APPEARING ON THE CHILLUMINATI POD MAY RADICALIZE YOU IN THE UFO DEBATE. 🛸👽🚀

He’s in sports mode. @chilluminatipod.fm ( @deannawritesink.bsky.social made the embroidered pin! )

WARNING: EARLY REPORTS THAT SOME BANDS JUST WANT TO MAKE MONEY OFF IMPRESSIONABLE KIDS. DOUBLE CHECK YOUR SUBVERSIVE ART FOR SIGNS OF A PSY-OP TODAY. 🚪💰🎸

NOTICE: DUPLICATABLE PARANORMAL EXPERIENCES ARE NOT NATURAL. IF YOU THINK YOU’RE IN DANGER, PLEASE TAG US. 👻 ⌛ 👻 🍔 FT. SPOOKYFOODIE

Psst... can you keep a secret? 👁️ We've got a highly classified selection of Top Secret Stickers from our pals at @chilluminatipod.fm. Your assignment is to procure this set of five 3" stickers to discover what secrets await within... should you choose to accept it: theyetee.com/chilluminati

MEMO: THE CHILLUMINATI OFFICE OF STAMPS AND STICKERS IS PROUD TO ANNOUNCE OUR FIRST TOP SECRET STICKER SET FROM ARTIST @doriesdoodles.bsky.social. BUY YOUR OWN STICKER PACKET TODAY AND PARTICIPATE IN THE GRAND EXPERIMENT. 🕵️‍♀️❓🤫🎨 theyetee.com/collections/...

10 years ago I never thought my art would be cool enough to be used for anything like YouTube. Anyways please go support funny people I care about 📞👽 www.youtube.com/live/oP2MPf9...

REMINDER: ALL CHILLUMINATI AGENTS ARE REQUIRED TO ATTEND THIS LIVE STREAM EVENT IN ORDER TO CONVINCE @letsgethaunted.bsky.social AND SPOOKY FOODIE THAT WE ARE A SUCCESFUL PODCAST. 🔴👻🍔👁️ www.youtube.com/live/QoTdjDK...

NOTICE: IF YOU PASS AGENT COX IN THE HALL, FOR HIS OWN SAFETY, PLEASE CONFIRM HIS GHOUL DELUSIONS. 👻🧟❓

REMINDER: ALL CHILLUMINATI AGENTS ARE REQUIRED TO ATTEND THIS LIVE STREAM EVENT IN ORDER TO CONVINCE @letsgethaunted.bsky.social AND SPOOKY FOODIE THAT WE ARE A SUCCESFUL PODCAST. 🔴👻🍔👁️ www.youtube.com/live/QoTdjDK...

LEGAL STATEMENT: ALEX IS NOT A LAWYER BY ANY DEFINITION, BUT IT DOES LOOK LIKE HIM THOUGH, DOESN'T IT? 🥞 ⚖️ 🧔‍

NEW CHANNEL ART BY @melectro.bsky.social FOR LA MONTH, TAG URSELF WE'RE THE LOOMING SENSE OF MYSTERY AROUND EVERY CORNER IN LOS ANGELES. 🌴🚗🍔🌟

NOTICE: IMPORTANT INFORMATION REVEALED DUE TO FAMILY GOVERNMENT CONNECTION. PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK. 🕵️☁️🎈💋

REMINDER: SOMETIMES THINGS THAT SEEM SEPARATE SIMPLY ARE NOT. TAKE FOR EXAMPLE, A TIMESLICE OF THE BEACH BOYS AND CHARLES MANSON… 🎸🎹🏖️🧙‍♂️

Today Kevin and Phil discuss the Sega Power novelization of ROAD RASH with very special guest @facianea.bsky.social of @chilluminatipod.fm and #SuperBeardBros. Listen in for superfluous analysis on a superfluous book anywhere you find superfluous podcasts!

LOWKEY I should probably post more rough @chilluminatipod.fm sketches

REMINDER: GOOD CHAOS MAGIC IS DONE WHEN YOU ARE ABLE TO FORGET. ANY REPEATED QUOTATIONS WERE FOR THEMATIC RESONANCE. WE, UH, SWEAR 👁️🌀❓

NOTICE FOR THE MARKETING DEPT: ASKING YOUR AUDIENCE TO FOCUS ON A SIGIL CAN SAVE YOUR IMPORTANT WORK. TAKE NOTE. 📓 🖋️ 🧙

NOTE: WORDS OF WELCOME FROM THE OTHER REALM ARE UP TO INTERPRETATION. GET IS INFINITY. STEVE IS A PLURALITY. 📕🔮🧍‍♂️