Of course my dad is gonna blame the fucking phone. As if he wasn't part of it aswell.

This aged like milk left outside for 3 months. I want to disappear from this world.

Quiet snowfall, peacefully drifting down. Burying my burden in it's icy crown. The cold breeze blows, carrying it all away. As I prepare for yet another day. The cold protects me, it's ice sways As Autumn goes, leaving it's decay.

I may like this song because of the vibes, but in terms of being relatable to me, Compared Child takes the cake. youtu.be/olWvy0PiLfA Not that my parents compare me to others, if then, they compare my sister to me. It's mainly just me and myself.

So far the second half of the school year is going better than the first. Mainly because i wasn't stuck in a bad group for the one project we're going to spend 3 months working on this time.

Another stressful course project done. Fucking cloroform me to ease up before i crash out.

Thinking about if i should do a daily "journal" thing here... I don't know if i will actually commit to it, considering how i am, but you never know.

A little hint: If you are struggling with comparing yourself to people who are better, compare yourself to people who are worse. Like me! I am bad at everything I try no matter the effort.

youtu.be/4QXCPuwBz2E I've been listening to this song more and more often... I kinda want to make something to tell the story i got with this song, it's sequel and the rest of the ones in the album. It would be cool, but it'll take long considering how busy I've been lately...

New Vent Acc restriction, do not follow this account unless i follow you first. I'll probably repurpose it for a "safer" less follower based account for me to use when i don't feel like staying on main. Every person that isn't mutuals on this account will be blocked, no second thoughts.

I should probably use the versions of the girl in my pfp where her face is scribbled out. To be more creepy and fitting for a vent out

Gonna reactivate my accounts back. I guess i got the answers I wanted...

Man, school is boring as hell when you have nothing to do in a class

Experiment Update: So far, no one seemed to have noticed the absence of my main accounts. Maybe it's just because it's just been half of the day, I'll wait a bit more.

i don't want you to forget me i don't want you to forget me i don't want you to forget me

The best thing about the little period after exams are done is that you have absolutely nothing to do before the next period actually starts

Gonna start it for real tomorrow and reactivate my accs on Friday

Random nighttime sadness... For no reason at all... Why am I like this.

Once again talking about my pfp and the girl in it. I legit wanna steal her look. Maybe not in such a girly way but her aesthetic looks good

Nevermind, not right now. Might do it Monday instead

Another one blocked.

Gonna do it tomorrow, and reactivate it on Saturday. I will be deactivating every single account i have, including Team/Starcross and my lore accounts. Except this one. Remember: I am fine, this is an experiment to see if people would notice if i deactivated my accs.

Might deactivate for 2 days Just for science

I don't know if it's the lack of sleep numbing me but today was actually pretty decent. Which will be needed since exams start tomorrow...

Maybe in case i *do* end up deactivating my accs for any reason which i still don't see a reason to. I might keep interacting on this one, less followers, just moots that i know.

Ngl, i think this pfp fits the vibe of this account more than the previous one. Not because it was taken from a song about self elimination- Mainly because the girl in it shows no emotion which i can relate to.

Alright, new pin because *some* profiles never know. If I don't follow you on either my main Wnterrkit account and/or on my side milo-kit account, i *will* block you. This is a vent account, and I want it to be taken seriously since most people IRL don't take me seriously.

New pfp+banner layout. Banner made by me and pfp taken from the MV of "I'm getting on the bus to the other world, see ya!" By TUYU. Maybe I shouldn't take my vent alt pfp from a song about self elimination, but ehh, I'm not even close to actually considering it so whatever.

I don't know if it's burnout or me just being too pathetic to actually do something about it Thinking hurts so much and i just wanna stop it.

Tired...

I think I'm at a point where I feel like I have to constantly be doing something, either be reading, writing, playing games, eating, anything. I just feel like if I just stay alone, doing nothing to distract me those negative thoughts will creep up. And I don't know what to feel about this.

The fact that I'm still holding myself together is impressive... Although i can feel myself depending more and more on my partner for comfort more often and I don't know what to feel about this. I just want to have a day where nothing can stress me...

Summer break is going to end in less than a week and honestly.... I don't think I'm ready to go back to school. Not that the people there suck or anything, far from it, it's just how stressful things are there for me. 🧵 1/?

I feel so forgettable at times... I'm not good at anything, i can't do art, i can't do music, i don't have any traits that would make talking to me worth it. I'm literally just a nobody. If i suddenly left the internet for good i highly doubt that anyone would notice. Nor even miss me...

"If you do art you're an artist" How? I barely do anything due to not wanting to make something bad even though it *WILL* end up being bad. What is the point of even trying if i know i won't make something that's good?? I should just accept that i will be bad at everything i try and deal with it.

I'm not an artist I'm not an artist I'm not an artist I'm not an artist I'm not an artist I'm not even CLOSE ENOUGH to be an artist Why am I lying to myself? Why am I trying to convince myself that i am good at something that i am clearly not? Why do i still try to prove that I'm good at anything?

i just want to go to sleep once and then never have to wake up again.

Im sure one of the course teachers hates our class now

The fact i didn't intentionally cut myself or jumped off my school's second floor is an achievement for me.

why do people even care about me? I don't get it.

I am pathetic. Why do people even like me? I'm not that interesting.

I don't want to go to school tomorrow :<

Mom got mad at me cuz of mid grades... At least i passed but she still made me feel bad about it...

Sleepiness is trying to creep in, I'll let it do so. It just feels good not to think.

Can't take advantage of me if i just don't show emotion at all.

Sometimes i just wished that i fell asleep and never wake up. I rather feel calm and relaxed on my dreams than to endure on a world that actively tries to fuck me over.

Exams grades are now out and holy shit how mid mine are

I love self doubt :D

The contrast between me online and me irl is so huge that sometimes, i ask myself: "which is the genuine me...?" I try not to think about it because it makes me feel conflicted.