Today we find out just how fucked we are...

DM Dokuro fanart WIP Their music has been helping me a lot lately (especially STILL HERE) so I figurer I'd draw their OC, although I'm not sure they use this design anymore. Probably the most interesting hairstyle I've ever drawn 😊 Will finish it this week probs

Only 19 more days left in the eye of the storm. Hopefully we can all survive what's to come

What if something good happened? That would be very cool. If anything good happens within the next 3 weeks, im going to do another 24 hour stream in July.

Demo album coming soon. It's basically an album of all the half-baked songs that I can't finish yet for one reason or another — be it knowledge or lack of singing voice. Hopefully I'll have enough finished songs for a proper album by the end of the year, but I at least wanted to do something

Been listening to "STILL HERE" by DM Dokuro a lot lately. It resonates a lot with me, and it's one of the reasons I'm still here in my current capacity (it's complicated). Thank you Dokuro —💜 It's important enough that we would like to cover it some day. Already learned the melody on piano.

Staying positive is hard when things keep getting worse every day, and I've definitely slipped up a few times. I'm mostly trying to keep my negativity to myself these days, and I do think it's made me happier.

The future is so uncertain. It could be really good, it could be really bad. The next month will determine if we're in heaven or hell. And the worst part is there's nothing that I can do about it but hope. And somehow, I still haven't lost hope. I don't think I ever will.

Food insecurity is not fun :c Don't worry too much, we have food for now; we just can't afford easy meals anymore, and I've had trouble cooking due to fatigue & pain. I lost around 15 lbs over the last month (very bad for me), and that was kind of a wake up call that I need to try harder.

Working on drawing the iconic Azula scene as practice 💖 I kinda know what I'm doing with the top half, but the bottom half is kind of a mess 😞

Trump's stupid tarrifs may have just ruined any chance of us getting a house... We've got 1.5 months to find a new income source and a new place to live, the odds aren't looking great Thankfully, I have a lot of family that would likely take us in, so we do have safety nets at least.

I am very high, and will surely regret posting this in the morning

Me: I'm gonna try to be more positive The World: You sure about that? *throws a million gut punches all at once, and a stab wound for good measure* Despite everything, I'm not going back on that promise. Things are hard, but we'll get through it. Even the worst case scenario has good in it

Here's a Pepsiman arrangement I just sorta made for fun in the lead up to my birthday stream 💖 I learned a lot making it, and it was a ton of fun, although it's just a demo. I'll polish it up and put it on my stream OST album as a bonus track in the near future. #music #pepsiman

I'm purging this account of vent/negative posts; this is not how I want to present myself to the world. I'm still going to talk about my mental health struggles, but only in ways that benefit me and others. Endless self hate will get me nowhere. I'm starting over again 💖 Love y'all 💚

The thought of streaming today is filling me with dread... It's been so long since I've been live and I think I've developed a small fear of streaming Still gonna try to do it anyway since it almost always helps in the end

I have a serious problem with overworking myself, and my projects ballooning to overwhelming monstrosities. I don't know how to set realistic expectations for myself... I guess this is what happens when you get called lazy your whole life 😔

I love doing things for other people and making them happy 💚 I wish I had the health/money to do volunteer work sometimes

I hate almost every post I've made on this account 😣 I've been so stupid and pessimistic (not without good reason, but still) — 💚

Ah, fuck it. Things are looking up, and I can't fight my surging optimism anymore. If it hurts me more in the end, then so be it. The dream of last summer is looking far less distant... And even if it doesn't look quite the same, I'll be happy with any version of that dream.

There's no worse feeling than being so paralyzed by fear that you fail to help someone... I'll remember that moment forever. I forgot what true fear felt like. Even if I was doing my best, my best wasn't anywhere near enough...

Why am I so awkward (× ∞)

One unfortunate thing about being poly is I still might actually have to confess first one day 😨 More likely though, I'll just hide and suppress my feelings to the point that the other person will think we have no romantic interest and move on. It's happened many times. Breaking patterns is hard 😔

Something good family-related just happened to end of the year! Absolutely wild

I just realized that I've gotten used to being in pain all the time and I've forgotten what it's like to not be in pain... If I didn't have that constant debuff, I might actually be able to make stuff

I'm excited to see my mom and dog, but the trip to NJ is gonna be nonstop stressful family conversions. I'll probably be dead for a month when I get back 😣

I feel bad for talking about it, and I'm not mad at anyone, but it does kinda make me uncomfortable when people get around reply-locking by quote-posting. The few times it's happened its been well intentioned, it just... doesn't feel great. I do love getting replies 💚 just not when they're unwanted

My brain is screaming at me that I need to lose weight before I even consider cosplaying... Guess I really haven't gotten over my eating disorder after all huh 😔

I just want to feel good enough to work on my projects every day... I don't have time to be bedridden every few weeks I have far too much to do

I don't think we can release it now actually; since it's a vocal driven song, there won't be much to mask the flaws in the synthesized voice. I'll still try, but it's not likely. I should be able to use vocal synths in songs with enough other instruments though

Tomorrow I'm going to work on publishing a song that's very personal to me. I've had it done for 3 years, but I could never sing it. I'll probably be using a legitimate vocal synthesizer, although I'll give singing one more try.

I am *so* insanely bad at making new friends it's unreal. Anyway, time to work on art and stuff

I am so incredibly uslessly gay 😣 I get so flustered I can't even type correctly sometimes😭 I'm asexual, but very much NOT aromantic .///. This is a Certified Alternate Account Post™ lol

I'm drawing every #Terraria #Calamity boss as I beat them, here's a WIP of the Desert Scourge! For the finished pic, follow my main account: @arukanavt.bsky.social #art

WIP birthday gift for someone I love very much 💚💖😊 Now I just need to figure out how to draw grass from above 😣 #SheRa #Catradora

A preview of my most ambitious art piece yet 😨 This scene from Fate/Stay Night means so much to me 💚 Shirou is such a great character 😊 Believe it or not this not even half of the finished piece, so it's gonna be a w h i l e until it's done 😣 The perspective is killing meeed

I've been spending a concerning amount of my time watching YouTube Shorts, and it's kind of a problem. Before I know it I've wasted the whole day and barely remember anything 😔 Gonna talk with my therapist about it

This is my alt, mostly for WIPs as well as more personal posts 💚