Bootleg Simpsons merchandise could be making you or your family very sick

You have no obligation to match the tone that marketing materials used to describe old media. Instead of "Sonic and Tails battle across Angel Island to once more defeat the nefarious Doctor Robotnik," try "We live in a fallen world. But I am soothed when animal boys traverse the colorful maze."

six months in the illinois burbs report: haven’t seen a single tran in the wild (bad) but there’s also this (good)

in 2016 i was outside one night in chicago and heard screaming coming from every building around me, followed by people pouring out of every building into the street, still screaming. that’s how i found out the cubs won the series and i assume it will be how i find out that The Cool Event happened.

Mister Food @TheFineDiner74 There is but one joy in this life greater than dining… 𝘍𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨!

re: horses discourse

[replying to a dead guy’s last post] i misread “goodbye forever” as “goodbye fart haver”

Tomorrow is a special occasion for Americans: Beat Ya Dick Day. If you have a dick, it's time to go to town on it: hitting, slapping, pinching, kicking — no holds barred. Try whapping it with a spatula, or snapping it with rubber bands; it's your dick, it's your day 🇺🇸

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dendroid highway 8

going through old documents

2006 comic about Youth

Mature Nude Beauty Disappears Into The Earth. Comely Mature Woman Phases Into Solid Ground — What Is The Secret?

fetterman makes first public appearance since fall

TIL that Paul McCartney wrote an original song for Ace Ventura 3 but then Ace Ventura 3 was cancelled so McCartney killed himself

i want to see the democratic party dissolve in my lifetime [finger on monkey’s paw curls]

Dendroid Highway 6

dendroid highway 5

dendroid highway 4

dendroid highway 3

the only medication we’ve invented to stop you from being suicidal 24/7 makes it so all your dreams are about hyper-violent black lodge spirits murdering you and everyone you love and also you can’t nut anymore. we’re definitely about to live on mars btw.

just wait until the game is done to check the scores. way less stressful, and no chance of accidentally supporting a losing team.

diptych

i don’t dunk on brianna wu because i can’t possibly humiliate brianna wu at the level brianna wu can

i’m a thin-skinned libertarian cryptofascist who melts down at the slightest whiff of criticism from the user base of my website. time to add a ‘dislike post’ button and take a big sip of coffee,

Chotiner: I'm going to eat you... Victim: Aaaahhh!! Chotiner: I'm putting you between two big slices of bread.... Victim: Aaagh! Aaagh! Chotiner: And now...I'm covering you with mustard... Victim: No! NO!

No reason to ruin a guy’s life over one little mistake. Plus, the man is grieving his daughter, give Leland Palmer a break.

to capital’s credit, capital is doing a great job turning people against capital

The last time an American reached the top of the Billboard charts was in 1993 with the release of “I’m The Baby (Gotta Love Me),” which spent 572 weeks at #1 before being banned by Clear Channel in the wake of the Iraq War.