ill live

ok yeowch arm hurts

its so easy to lie to me

they dont care do they

i hope his life is better now that hes made mine worse

they would be so dissapointed if thet actually knew me

im so fucked but atleastt i have smeone who loves me

i promisw im trying

i loveyou soso muchh im sorry i cannt express it well

fuckk

i ffeel bad now

youre not going to make me feel better by lying to me

one of the reasons i never killed myself a few months ago has made almost everyone i know hate me

i shouldve been dead by now

what is even there to love anymore i dontt get it

if they wanted to theyd ask

it is not my fault if you choose not to say anything about what im doing

they dont care do they

i hatw th feeling of blood

gwet its off get it offf get it off get it off wiheugrfinkdjb

trying to distract myself isnt going to workk

i feel bad relapsing but theres nothgin elsee i cann do rigth now i feeel likee shitt ang iiidk gusirbjkfvn, ,klgiabd dzfyzcfucck fuck fuck fuckv

fuck cwhtrbgfhoubqtuigqeq bgrhk;l; bgkqrhrldan.cmvvbkdGJ.EGFU;OWTEJFADNNJDNLGARLGHIOFVXHB SNFbjgfbxxbkag.dnfvzx

maybe if i cut deeper youll see me as sick enough

fuck

no im not okay whywpuld i say that

im expecting too much actually

im suicidal but not suicidal to the point where im actually gonna kill myself ,, maybe thats why nobody double checks to make sure im actually okay

i know i shouldnt miss him but like eugh kill me

if i kill myself on my birthday will people care or am i just gonna be really fucking cold before i die

im so paranoid all the time that im being annoying or people are upset with me

he makes me want to get better

i feel so icky ,, i think im gonna try to get better and actually stay clean for a while so i can hopefully actually recover n stuff . i feel bad any time i relapse/cut

idek ehy im upset i should shut up

im like really upset rn i wanna vc withsomeone but theyre already in vc and arentreplying to anyhing im sending them

im genuinely so touch starved its not even funny anymore

im genuinely just fucking pathetic im tired of this

im genuinely so fucked

i miss my partner sm they havent been online like all day

i usually get to talk to them for like a few hours on weekend nights but i just havent gotten to do that for like 3 days . i know theres probably a reason but like im still kinda upset

atleast i know how it feels to be lonely again

you really wouldnt do that for me would you

nobody came for me //ref kinda ??

i dont deserve you at all

i dont deserve to say i love you

i promise im trying to be nice ,, i can be good i promise please believe me

im actually just fucking pathetic

its me isnt it