What the fuck. They seem to be glooping his lunch

I have something important that I wish to say that I feel would be best conveyed through a quick little video such as this one, and I feel it may be useful to at least a few other people.

I went to the zoo and I saw a poster for something called the "Big Gorilla Thump-A-Thon" and while I didn't go there, I could hear from a distance the screams of those who did. I hope they all made it out safely

Some people can't stand the way that I speak. I think my voice is rather normal, and anyone who disagrees should be put on death row. But I will respect their opinions

Sometimes I still wonder where Gooner ran off to. I hope those clowns aren't planning anything nefarious, vile, or underhanded at the moment, but of course, I can't say for certain.

I do have to say it feels really good to have my own social media account. I was getting a little tired of hogging up WereTheTurtles' proverbial personal space for months on end

I think he should put that thing away, as I find that pregnant belly of his rather inappropriate.

There has been a boat race happening near my house this weekend. I don't talk about it often but I am a big fan of boat racing. Hydro Thunder is one of my favorite video games of all time.

I have never seen this We Wish You a Turtle Christmas video I hear so much about. I wonder if it's any good. It better be worth all the hype.

If you see this man, please report him to your local authorities and request that he be publicly executed.