Leaving my friends behind at my worst was the biggest mistake I did... It made me feel worse... All i've done this past week is constantly venting about everything... I want to go back, but I'm scared because I feel like I made enough of a ruckus people worry about me too much... I hate this week...

I feel worse... I keep stressing out mom... Im trying not to... I never meant to... Im scared... I'm really scared... I want to be with company, but idk... I feel like i caused too much of a ruckus.... But at the same time, I really need comfort... support... I'm literally in dark thoughts again...

I had a talk with my mom. She understands and says The best option i have is to keep going to school. And if I drop out, then I have to have a job. Or at least apply for disability benefits... Fuck... Why do I keep doing this to myself...

Im sorry for speaking out like this. My life is just out of control at this point. Idk what I can do with myself...

I can't keep doing college... This was supposed to be my last year. I have to do two more years... I can't do two more years... I just cant... I can't drop out... No job takes me in regardless if I lie or be honest. I let everyone down....

Why do I do this to myself? Why di I shut off support? Why di I keep make mistakes? Why can't I be more responsible? Why can't i stop burdenning the ones I love and care? Why...?

Bad thoughts... they're... back... coming back... want to die. want to do it... forget about me...

What's wrong with me? Why am I like this? Im so weak...

I'm emotionally unstable. I'm such a hypocrate to everyone. Please don't be my friend. I don't deserve it.

I... I have to go back... He understands me. He cares for me. No one else cares for me. Only him...

it's official now. the year just started andleadry my life sucks so muchright now. i have to do two more yearsof college whichmeans i wont graduate this year. i dont know how to hellmy mom and family. i've disappointedthem. they're gonnabe mad at me. i just feel it. i justwant college to be over-

on that note, i have made a new commission sheet. some prices have increased slightly and the layout and visuals are more organized, and varied to differentiate from my other miles one. and i will be taking 5 slots this time to not overwhelm myself. contacts are on the sheet if you're interested

(Sort of) Final Post..? Please read. 2025 has officially come to a close. We are in the new year now. I have decided to do a drawing to commemorate all my friends who stuck around with me. Thank you all for being a friend to me

I decided to draw Sophie again. Solo to her biggest dragon form yet. And yes, she is in Misato's clothing from Evangelion because of how I designed her hair. I couldn't really help myself, she looks so pretty here. I want to draw more of her in the future. Thanks for being there for me.

I have made this dragon sona for a very special someone. She means so much to me right now, and i want to show the world that. I am very grateful to have made this very cute and lovely scalesona in 3 different concepts. Thank you. I love you so much

Commission Done by my friend @sfwchunkystudios.bsky.social Considering what happened that led up to this point, this picture means a lot to me. I'm very very grateful to have a friend like him. And I really hope we can work together on very cool projects together.

ここでの私の存在に関する最新情報を投稿します。まずは重要な絵の制作を終わらせなければならないので、もう少しお待ちください。もうほとんど完成しています。 Gonna post an update regarding my pressence here. I just have to work on a important picture first. It is almost complete

A small little gift i did for my friend AkiraCW, who has now turned 18 today. Happy Birthday to them

ワンショット漫画を制作中。結末はまだ執筆中ですが、ベクターとラドスターという2体のロボットが、意地悪な上司に立ち向かい、仲間を助けるために協力する物語となる予定です。 A one shot manga in the works. The ending is in progress, but will follow two robots Vector and Radster as the two unite against their mean boss to help their friends.

Happy birthday to my friend @cesarbluebear.bsky.social

(Suggestive) batch art for @fattesthippo366.bsky.social

Blue Bear.? Cyan Skunk? Is it ok if we can talk? I'm ready to talk... When you're not busy.

Birthday gift for @soldierfoxyt.bsky.social

Blue Mouse... I'm still nervous. But... I think I'm ready to talk? When you're not busy?

I think i need to give everyone space again... Considering what I saw...

Made this for oe of my finals

Went to a therapist yesterday. Seeing another appointment next week. Emotions inconsistent.

Friends. Are you ok..? How are you..?

I think the others can do without me. I talked with someone. I feel... Comfortable around them.

coming soon... revealing when im ready.

My friends might be having fun. That's good

I think I might be healing a bit. But I'm not sure if I'm ready to see my friends again. I feel they're doing better off without me.

ああ、私は Venting が嫌いだ...

多分そうじゃない。彼らは良くなってきている。だから、私は彼らのままにしておくよ。彼らは元気だ。私は元気じゃない。ごめんね。

すごく簡単だよ。そこに行くのはとても簡単です。でも友達がそれを許してくれないんです。君たちは私にそれをさせない

本当にごめんなさい。これをあなたたちの問題にしたくないんです

あなたたちは特に傷ついたのです。私のすべてをあなたに捧げられたらいいのに。私はそれほど値しないかもしれない

友達は私を励ましてくれるだろうか？何が起こったのか知っていても、私と話しますか?しつこく続ける、もしかしたら私が話さなければならなくなるまで？

特に友人たちは傷ついたにもかかわらず、いとも簡単に立ち直ることができました。私はその点を彼らを尊敬しています。

もっと話したい。でも、人と話したくない。今、頭がめちゃくちゃだ。私は孤独を受け入れます

こんな風に声を上げてごめんなさい。本当に辛い。本当に辛い。本当に嫌だ。

私の友達、あなたたちが今や私のセラピストにならなければならないなんて嫌だ。君たちはもっと元気なのに、私に向かってあんなにエネルギーを注ぎ込まなきゃいけないなんて、本当に辛い。本当に最悪だ。

誰か本当に私を愛してくれませんか？本当に私のことを気にかけていると言ってくれませんか？もう自分が何者なのか、わからなくなってしまいました。

人生でこれほど悲しみを表現したことはありませんでした。この気持ちが嫌です。

私は自分自身を愛してきましたが、今はわかりません。誰かが本当に私にそれを正直に表現し返すことができるでしょうか?