Jorkin' it upside down is fun, but... OOHHH, MY BACK... (Still worth it)

I tried something new today, and it has made me the biggest and hardest I have ever been in my life 🤭

"You're so flexible!" "Thanks, I get my daily stretching in from putting my feets on my own face"

I had a video on in the background as I was jorkin' it, because I'm that brainrotted A bunch of meme sound effects played in a row at the exact moment I climaxed, And I collapsed laughing from the sheer absurdity of the situation I put myself in as I was spurting cream

Is it normal to sometimes get super hot and thirsty while jorkin' it? Or do I just need to drink more fluids?

Ahem, a haiku, if you will: Now awake, blood flows My morning wood calls to me Need to yoink that sploink

Point of view: Me

We were talking about lasers in my optics lecture, and for some reason the whole time all I could think was "I really need to shoot a laser beam of cream right now" What did my brain mean by this

Here's an angle

Apparently bending over to look at my phone screen while jorkin' it gives me an absolutely monstrous headache It's very weird, and I'm not sure why it happens; Is it higher blood pressure? Or the opposite, all the blood going to my bone instead of my head? "The world may never know"

ANOTHER random photo that was sitting in my folders 'Ere you go

I just discovered this funny photo buried in the depths of my folders Might as well post it here, enjoy

Me gettin' hard again Anybody willing to help a birb out?

Taking my multivitamin pill makes me feel a little slutty Gotta swallow it nice and deep

He says "hi" (Real photo)

I discovered that my phone has a slow motion camera, and I got a little carried away with it (Very real video)

This wasn't very easy to take (Real photo)

A friend was surprised I didn't post more feets on here So here you go (Real photo)

Bols (Real photo)

Fun fact: Timelapsing yourself getting hard looks really funny (Real video)

Finally, videos Have a towel drop

This picture was super hard to take (Real photo)

Anybody want to start a band? We'll call it "Trumpet Sex" (Real photos)

I took a visit to my university's nudist beach (Real photos)

Is there a lore reason god gave me this firehose of a vein? (Warning: Real photo)

It's hard sometimes (Warning: real photo)

We're going to play Banjo-Kazooie (Real photo)

Is there an evolutionary reason it feels so satisfying to hold yourself like this? (Warning: VERY real photo)

When ya get out of the shower and discover that ya underwear has a hole in it

There are exactly two types of guys: - Those of us who admit to doing this with our thighs sometimes - Liars (Warning: real photo)