I kinda fucking hate the Grinch now. Why is this green dastardly bastard everywhere this year? Hate him.

if you aren't giving yourself time before work to potentially take a monstrous and violent shit then you're taking a risk I wouldn't dare.

that feeling when ur going though TSA at Chicago Midway Airport and they don't find the deadly concentration of methane gas you have stored in your colon! 😂

we should start walking up to people wearing sports jerseys in public and thanking them for their service.

ice cube: i’m going digital, it’s the only way to win son: amazing… nasa lady: watch out for the aliens! it’s like a circus in there! ice cube: the killer code wont work! gah, must be a pibby glitch!! villain: the scariest part? these aliens… they’re characters YOU KNOW.

If you want Shrek 5 to look like puss in boots 2 you don't know ANYTHING about shrek and you need to sit down. Shreks high detail art style and smooth movements are so important. I dare you to apply the PIB2 art style to a scene of shrek and donkey just walking in the woods. it'll look like shit.

Furries are the backbone of society.

Deer just stand there and allow themselves to get flattened into jerky by a 16 wheeler meanwhile birds are dodging 15 sedans like a darksouls bossfight for an empty container of mini m&ms. @merlebirb.bsky.social

do you think that if the sky turned urple that the animals would be scared or would they just be like "damn guess the sky urple now😐"?

when me and my sister got our wii in 2008 we saw that it came with a wii remote jacket and argured about which of us would get to wear it.

Thought I was gonna pick up bitches at poetry night everyone here just gay! #pridemonth

Its so over.

I don't want a fucking burger. Bring out the 5 guys.

imagine that someone made you a really good sandwich. Some time passes and then the sandwich man goes "hey! want me to make you a new version of that sandwich?" And you're like yah sure. So they make you the same sandwich but forget like half of the ingredients and make a big doodoo feces on it.

if they fuck up my order at jack in the box thats it. thats the final god damn straw.

These people don't seem to understand that I'm at work to make money while expending the least amount of energy possible. Unless your extra credit comes with extra insensitive it isn't happening, especially if I don't morally agree with what your asking for.

Me when I'm an old man, grizzled from years of endless war and bloodshed: Is that what you kids are calling a "Pibby glitch" nowadays? Come here. Let me teach you WHY a Pibby glitch is so scary. (boss music)

uh oh

This morning we were cooked, but after copious consumption of cafinated beverages I am proud to announce that we are so back. Surely nothing BAD will happen to me when it wears off : )

Every driver who isn't me is fully willing to T-bone someone, killing themselves instantly, before even considering slowing down to less than 20 mph over the speed limit for even a second.

"modders update faster than mojang" MFs when mods are stuck on 1.20.1 because of a slightly faster release schedule.

Yoda be like: FUCKED WE ARE! BECOME A BUM ON A SWAMP PLANET I MUST!

Once again I have created two fictional lesbian women and forced them to fight over ideological differences. I've also assigned them each a song from a Sonic game that describes their personality. Please don't ask me about them it would be spoilers for my ttrpg game and my players follow me here.

PvP JO sesh was crazy tonight. Who else is watching? 🍿

Why is For Honor still getting updates? They dropped another new character that you have to pay 20 dollars for and she looks op as shit as per usual. Can an indie dev please take the combat system of For Honor and make a good game please?

My child. Shes 5'3" btw.

They say natural light is good for you but what if the light gets in your eyes and its oogh ouchie ouch my fuckung eyes ow ow ow fuck bastard sun kill him.

@merlebirb.bsky.social how would our relationship change if I had a condition where my cock is so big that every time I get a boner I pass out from loss of bloodflow and fall over like Chuck from better call saul? So like I see a hot lady and I noticeably get a comedicialy large boner and fall over?

can you even fathom it? holiday gift for anonymous #illustration #avian

Gaming on my computer book. Headphones OFF. Winning games anyways because I'm awesome. 😎 awe yah. ASMR roleplay time.

just shit and now I'm pure 😊🤗

does anyone actually say Zzz when they sleep? The only thing I say is honk shoe.

somedays I feel like 😈

you're welcum : )

W.D. Asspull @tobyfox.undertale.com

Welcome to your final test. I'm Mr. Breast.

@gamerdylan90.bsky.social We should fight to the death or something.

I love gaming and not being on twitter