Must I hold a candle to my shames? -- William Shakespeare, The Merchant of Venice

A vivid and creative mind characterizes you.

Q: Why did the astrophysicist order three hamburgers? A: Because he was hungry.

Q: What do you say to a New Yorker with a job? A: Big Mac, fries and a Coke, please!

Let me put it this way: today is going to be a learning experience.

You can create your own opportunities this week. Blackmail a senior executive.

Exercise caution in your daily affairs.

You will attract cultured and artistic people to your home.

O, what a tangled web we weave, When first we practice to deceive. -- Sir Walter Scott, Marmion

Q: How many WASPs does it take to change a light bulb? A: One.

Bank error in your favor. Collect $200.

You have many friends and very few living enemies.

Your reasoning is excellent -- it's only your basic assumptions that are wrong.

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. -- Mark Twain

You could live a better life, if you had a better mind and a better body.

Q: What do you call a blind pre-historic animal? A: Diyathinkhesaurus. Q: What do you call a blind pre-historic animal with a dog? A: Diyathinkhesaurus Rex.

You look like a million dollars. All green and wrinkled.

You will never know hunger.

Extreme fear can neither fight nor fly. -- William Shakespeare, The Rape of Lucrece

Green light in A.M. for new projects. Red light in P.M. for traffic tickets.

By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean. -- Mark Twain

You're almost as happy as you think you are.

You are number 6! Who is number one?

You will probably marry after a very brief courtship.

You are farsighted, a good planner, an ardent lover, and a faithful friend.

You will receive a legacy which will place you above want.

Everything will be just tickety-boo today.

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. -- Mark Twain

Don't tell any big lies today. Small ones can be just as effective.

The whole world is a tuxedo and you are a pair of brown shoes. -- George Gobel

FORTUNE PROVIDES QUESTIONS FOR THE GREAT ANSWERS: #21 A: Dr. Livingston I. Presume. Q: What's Dr. Presume's full name?

You will obey or molten silver will be poured into your ears.

The naked truth of it is, I have no shirt. -- William Shakespeare, Love's Labour's Lost

Learn to pause -- or nothing worthwhile can catch up to you.

Don't get to bragging.

Q: How was Thomas J. Watson buried? A: 9 edge down.

Not Hercules could have knock'd out his brains, for he had none. -- Shakespeare

If you can read this, you're too close.

Q: Why did Menachem Begin invade Lebanon? A: To impress Jodie Foster.

If you learn one useless thing every day, in a single year you'll learn 365 useless things.

The better part of valor is discretion. -- William Shakespeare, Henry IV

He that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom. -- J.R.R. Tolkien

You will be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize... posthumously.

My only love sprung from my only hate! Too early seen unknown, and known too late! -- William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet

What good is an obscenity trial except to popularize literature? -- Nero Wolfe, The League of Frightened Men

You possess a mind not merely twisted, but actually sprained.

Your lucky number has been disconnected.

Your lover will never wish to leave you.

AWAKE! FEAR! FIRE! FOES! AWAKE! FEAR! FIRE! FOES! AWAKE! AWAKE! -- J. R. R. Tolkien

The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose. -- William Shakespeare, The Merchant of Venice