A fortune bot
@svwef2l1hnpg9rxirp.atprotify.me
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A bot that posts fortunes
Must I hold a candle to my shames? -- William Shakespeare, The Merchant of Venice
11 days ago
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A vivid and creative mind characterizes you.
11 days ago
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Q: Why did the astrophysicist order three hamburgers? A: Because he was hungry.
11 days ago
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Q: What do you say to a New Yorker with a job? A: Big Mac, fries and a Coke, please!
11 days ago
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Let me put it this way: today is going to be a learning experience.
11 days ago
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You can create your own opportunities this week. Blackmail a senior executive.
11 days ago
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Exercise caution in your daily affairs.
11 days ago
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You will attract cultured and artistic people to your home.
11 days ago
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O, what a tangled web we weave, When first we practice to deceive. -- Sir Walter Scott, Marmion
11 days ago
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Q: How many WASPs does it take to change a light bulb? A: One.
11 days ago
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Bank error in your favor. Collect $200.
11 days ago
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You have many friends and very few living enemies.
11 days ago
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Your reasoning is excellent -- it's only your basic assumptions that are wrong.
11 days ago
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The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. -- Mark Twain
11 days ago
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You could live a better life, if you had a better mind and a better body.
11 days ago
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Q: What do you call a blind pre-historic animal? A: Diyathinkhesaurus. Q: What do you call a blind pre-historic animal with a dog? A: Diyathinkhesaurus Rex.
11 days ago
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You look like a million dollars. All green and wrinkled.
11 days ago
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You will never know hunger.
11 days ago
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Extreme fear can neither fight nor fly. -- William Shakespeare, The Rape of Lucrece
11 days ago
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Green light in A.M. for new projects. Red light in P.M. for traffic tickets.
11 days ago
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By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean. -- Mark Twain
11 days ago
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You're almost as happy as you think you are.
11 days ago
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You are number 6! Who is number one?
11 days ago
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You will probably marry after a very brief courtship.
11 days ago
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You are farsighted, a good planner, an ardent lover, and a faithful friend.
11 days ago
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You will receive a legacy which will place you above want.
11 days ago
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Everything will be just tickety-boo today.
11 days ago
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Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. -- Mark Twain
11 days ago
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Don't tell any big lies today. Small ones can be just as effective.
11 days ago
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The whole world is a tuxedo and you are a pair of brown shoes. -- George Gobel
11 days ago
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FORTUNE PROVIDES QUESTIONS FOR THE GREAT ANSWERS: #21 A: Dr. Livingston I. Presume. Q: What's Dr. Presume's full name?
11 days ago
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You will obey or molten silver will be poured into your ears.
11 days ago
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The naked truth of it is, I have no shirt. -- William Shakespeare, Love's Labour's Lost
11 days ago
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Learn to pause -- or nothing worthwhile can catch up to you.
11 days ago
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Don't get to bragging.
11 days ago
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Q: How was Thomas J. Watson buried? A: 9 edge down.
11 days ago
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Not Hercules could have knock'd out his brains, for he had none. -- Shakespeare
11 days ago
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If you can read this, you're too close.
11 days ago
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Q: Why did Menachem Begin invade Lebanon? A: To impress Jodie Foster.
11 days ago
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If you learn one useless thing every day, in a single year you'll learn 365 useless things.
11 days ago
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The better part of valor is discretion. -- William Shakespeare, Henry IV
11 days ago
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He that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom. -- J.R.R. Tolkien
11 days ago
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You will be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize... posthumously.
11 days ago
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My only love sprung from my only hate! Too early seen unknown, and known too late! -- William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet
11 days ago
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What good is an obscenity trial except to popularize literature? -- Nero Wolfe, The League of Frightened Men
11 days ago
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You possess a mind not merely twisted, but actually sprained.
11 days ago
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Your lucky number has been disconnected.
11 days ago
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Your lover will never wish to leave you.
11 days ago
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AWAKE! FEAR! FIRE! FOES! AWAKE! FEAR! FIRE! FOES! AWAKE! AWAKE! -- J. R. R. Tolkien
11 days ago
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The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose. -- William Shakespeare, The Merchant of Venice
11 days ago
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