The genuine horror and confusion straight girl friends get when you don’t use a gay voice for a second is so fucking funny

Why not

I spent a long weekend with two of my girl friends from college and it is insane how different the gay male and straight female gaze is. Every man I found hot they were revolted by and every man they found hot looked so squirrelly and effeminate to me.

Beverly Hills bathrooms do not disappoint!

One of my favorite things to jerk off to are “vintage” nudes from the 2000s. With the hunky tan men with digital cameras, unremovable timestamps on each photo. They feel so authentic. Like wow so there was this sexy man taking nudes on 8/5/2007. Frozen in time.

Spray tans crack me up 😩😂💀

Being a man is fucking awesome

My precum is so sweet today. Anyone else taste their own?

Does anyone else give negative fucks about attending a college or HS reunion? I went to the same college as my parents and they are so fond of it. They are very active alumni and donors too. Meanwhile I’d rather shit in my hands and clap than attend an alumni function…

Yes I’m a top with a smooth pink hole. Yes I want it rimmed. Yes we exist!

I dressed up as my tuxedo cat for Halloween 🐈‍⬛🤵🏻‍♂️

Real men take lavender bubble baths

Perfect censorship!

Finally bath season again

Yes my Southern ass wore this at 50°

Does anyone else get major ick from being called babe or baby 😩? Unless you’re an elderly woman calling me baby I don’t wanna hear either lmfao

I swear my girl friends are so picky about men. Meanwhile I’m over here like if he has… ✅ beard ✅ muscles ✅ thick cock I’m good to go 🤣

Everything is better with a group.

#fⲁggot gets fed

Who wants some andouille?

Remember a while back when girls were getting manicures the same color of their boyfriend’s tips? I feel like my dickhead would be a great shade of pink for the nails or lips. It certainly would look good with lips wrapped around it.

I want to change careers but have zero interest in going back to college bc I never had student loans and certainly don’t want them now… am I cooked

Let’s not forget the lumberjock ass

Did anyone else have a couch with this same pattern in the 90s…

Did I mention I love being outdoors?

Finally #fcf! 😮‍💨

🧔🏻‍♂️🍑

Unfff I’d love to be fagging out on some thick dad cock

This bathroom lighting is nuts

Is Spain just a spawn point for hot men or

Business bro butt

#hugecock #bigdick #hardcock #hung #dilf #daddy #beardedmen #dadbod #fcf #thick

Debating if I should try a ‘stache again

Has anyone else been watching House of Guinness on Netflix? One of the brothers is gay and has a huge cock… there was a full frontal of him getting out the bathtub and his butler is just there like 😐

Love showing off my heavy hairy cock

If I’m 6’0 tall and my boner is 7” long… does that make me 6’7” 🤔

Getting emotional from seeing homecoming pictures of a teenage lesbian couple on my fb feed… then realizing it’s my ex girlfriend’s best friend’s little sister. Just gay things 😂

Celebrating #fcf once again #bator

He’s an eager lil’ fucker

Sometimes I just check out what’s in my briefs like “niceee”

This morning… 😘

Me when a man with big pecs and pierced nipples is talking to me