Hopeless Maine
@hopelessmaine.bsky.social
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A gothic island lost in time - a steampunk community project. Account run by Nimue.
You may remember that Winston Oldspot, the Night-Soil Man, had found an ornate horn which Reggie Upton insisted was of Viking origin, and called a lĂşr.
hopeless-maine.co.uk/2026/01/20/o...
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Object 142 - Hopeless Vendetta
You may remember that Winston Oldspot, the Night-Soil Man, had found an ornate horn which Reggie Upton insisted was of Viking origin, and called a lĂşr. Winston was keen to find out what sound it made ...
https://hopeless-maine.co.uk/2026/01/20/object-142/
5 days ago
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The edge of the new year had arrived and there was still one lone mince pie left.
hopeless-maine.co.uk/2026/01/06/t...
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The Last Mince Pie - Hopeless Vendetta
Mince pies are special. Some, more than others. The Squid & Teapot's last mince pie is meant for someone... but who?
https://hopeless-maine.co.uk/2026/01/06/the-last-mince-pie/
19 days ago
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The fire in the public bar of The Squid and Teapot had settled into that most companionable of moods.
hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/12/23/t...
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The Measure of a House - Hopeless Vendetta
Even on Hopeless, Maine, Christmas comes to the Squid and Teapot. Time for a heart warming tale from Mr Squash.
https://hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/12/23/the-measure-of-a-house/
about 1 month ago
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Mr Squash shifted on the settle that he single-handedly filled, and the aged black oak complained with an ominous creak.
hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/12/16/t...
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The Green Children - Hopeless Vendetta
Why does Mr Squash the sasquatch dislike Pyralia Skant? And how do two mysterious children (a long way from Woolpit) fit in?
https://hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/12/16/the-green-children/
about 1 month ago
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It is my belief that, for most people, the best part of Christmas lies in its anticipation.
hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/12/09/a...
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A Welcome Visitor - Hopeless Vendetta
Christmas time for the island of Hopeless, Maine and Philomena Bucket decided to gather some holly for decorations.
https://hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/12/09/a-welcome-visitor/
about 2 months ago
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Although she felt it her duty to set things right, Philomena had never thought of herself as being anyone’s idea of a heroine.
hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/12/02/m...
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Mysterious Transmutations - Hopeless Vendetta
Can Philomena undo the damage Durosimi had wrought on the liminal space. Will she use the word that Pyralia had given her?
https://hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/12/02/mysterious-transmutations/
about 2 months ago
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In all of its long history, the Squid and Teapot had never smelled so good. It was almost unnerving.
hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/11/25/w...
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Whisky Galore - Hopeless Vendetta
Customers of the Squid and Teapot were enjoying the best food that ever was served in the establishment. Just how long would that last?
https://hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/11/25/whisky-galore
2 months ago
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It was Philomena who first noticed that Screaming Point had moved.
hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/11/18/t...
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To the Lighthouse - Hopeless Vendetta
Things are moving on Hopeless, Maine. There's a sense of change, maybe even of some things coming to an end.
https://hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/11/18/to-the-lighthouse
2 months ago
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The night was thick enough to be tasted.
hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/11/11/t...
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The Reduction - Hopeless Vendetta
The island of Hopeless, Maine is a mysterious and unsettling place. As Pyralia studies an ancient tome, is it about to become less or more mysterious and unsettling?
https://hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/11/11/the-reduction
2 months ago
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There are few sounds as unsettling as silence on the island of Hopeless
hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/11/04/s...
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Skakka - Hopeless Vendetta
Who, or what is Skakka? What are the implications of Skakka's appearance on Hopless, Maine for the islanders and for Pyralia Skant?
https://hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/11/04/skakka
3 months ago
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It was a morning of suspicious tranquillity.
hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/10/28/p...
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Pyralia Tidies Up - Hopeless Vendetta
It was a morning of suspicious tranquillity. The sky hung pale and featureless over the island of Hopeless. It was a sky so bland that it looked almost embarrassed to exist. The wind didn’t moan. The ...
https://hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/10/28/pyralia-tidies-up
3 months ago
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The fog lay upon Hopeless that morning like a particularly damp quilt
hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/10/21/t...
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The Accordion That Cried - Hopeless Vendetta
It ain't over till the cursed accordion stops playing... or something. Reggie Upton and Pyralia Skant investigate a musical problem.
https://hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/10/21/the-accordion-that-cried
3 months ago
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It was a blustery morning on Hopeless, the sort of day when even the fog seemed to be having second thoughts about hanging around.
hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/10/14/a...
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A New Look - Hopeless Vendetta
In which Philomena Bucket questions the sartorial choices of Pryalia Skant, in regards to its influence upon the island of Hopeless, Maine.
https://hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/10/14/a-new-look
3 months ago
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The snuggery of The Squid and Teapot was hushed, save for the faint crackle of the hearth.
hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/10/07/t...
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The River of Time - Hopeless Vendetta
In which Pyralia Skant explains things. Sort of. A bit.
https://hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/10/07/the-river-of-time
4 months ago
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A week had passed since the rooster and his adoring harem of hens had arrived on Hopeless.
hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/09/30/c...
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Crowing at Midnight - Hopeless Vendetta
When is a chicken not a chicken? When it's a guardian rooster! But what will the skeletal dog Drury think of this?
https://hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/09/30/crowing-at-midnight
4 months ago
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Although not often mentioned in these tales, you will doubtless remember Tenzin, the young Buddhist monk who left Tibet beneath a yeti’s armpit and emerged on Hopeless through one of Mr. Squash’s mysterious portals.
hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/09/23/a...
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A Bedtime Story - Hopeless Vendetta
A bedtime story leads to a request, an unexpected pet and a bonus breakfast item on the Squid & Teapot's menu.
https://hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/09/23/a-bedtime-story
4 months ago
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Pyralia Skant’s decision to take up residency at the Squid and Teapot had not gone unnoticed.
hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/09/16/c...
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Comfort Food - Hopeless Vendetta
Normal can be a dangerous word on the island of Hopeless, Maine. But everything certainly seems normal at the Squid & Teapot. Despite the presence of Dr Pyralia Skant.
https://hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/09/16/comfort-food
4 months ago
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Screaming Point has always been one of Hopeless’s more trying (not to say bloody annoying) features.
hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/09/09/s...
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Screaming Point - Hopeless Vendetta
Doctor Pyralia Skant is normally a composed, almost smug, sort of a being. But when Screaming Point arrives on your doorstep, it's hard to maintain any sort of composure.
https://hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/09/09/screaming-point
5 months ago
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The first thing anyone noticed about the man who called himself “Mr. Delkin” was that his boots were new and impossibly clean.
hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/09/02/t...
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The Impossible Guest - Hopeless Vendetta
Hopeless is not the sort of place that gets passing trade. Nobody stops for a few nights and moves on. And yet, here was Mr Delkin...
https://hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/09/02/the-impossible-guest
5 months ago
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Somewhat dark comeic fantasy. Highly entertaining. Also, we love Sloth, and supporting them is always good.
add a skeleton here at some point
5 months ago
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It is not easy being a gentleman without a shadow.
hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/08/26/t...
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The Lamp of the Penitent - Hopeless Vendetta
Reggie Upton had sacrificed his shadow in a bargain with the Marsh-Thing. It is a sad thing indeed to lose one's shadow. But could Reggie get it back?
https://hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/08/26/the-lamp-of-the-penitent
5 months ago
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Neville Moore had never seen Lenore, his pet raven, in such a state.
hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/08/19/t...
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The Rookery Pact - Hopeless Vendetta
Once again it is up to Dr. Pyralia Skant and Granny Bucket to shelve their differences to address a disturbing pact, while Philomena looks on in exasperation. Quothe the Raven: "Shinies!"
https://hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/08/19/the-rookery-pact
5 months ago
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Granny Bucket and Doctor Pyralia Skant had formed an unlikely alliance to thwart one of Durosimi O’Stoat’s more spectacularly bungled spells.
hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/08/12/t...
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Thawing - Hopeless Vendetta
If you are going to tackle an icy menace, ineptly conjured up by Durosimi O’Stoat, then what you need – apparently – is a ghost and a scientist of questionable provenance!
https://hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/08/12/thawing
5 months ago
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Ever since the Founding Families – polite invaders clad in tweed and corsetry – had arrived on the island of Hopeless, Maine more than two centuries ago, it had been tacitly agreed that the O’Stoat family held a monopoly on magic.
hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/08/05/a...
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An Unholy Alliance - Hopeless Vendetta
When Durosimi messes up... again, it's going to require the combined talents of Granny Bucket and Doctor Pyralia Skant to fix things. Trouble is, they are very definitely, not the best of friends.
https://hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/08/05/an-unholy-alliance
6 months ago
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Containing a brief mention of us, we have distant connections to some very cool people.
www.facebook.com/share/v/1G4Y...
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Redirecting...
https://www.facebook.com/share/v/1G4YSV68VF/
6 months ago
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Winston Oldspot was feeling decidedly unsettled.
hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/07/29/t...
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The Unmaking - Hopeless Vendetta
Winston Oldspot does not know what to do. Doctor Pyralia Skant seems to have taken a fancy to him. What could it mean? (Nothing good, probably).
https://hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/07/29/the-unmaking
6 months ago
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Beware the Goblins. Or possibly point and laugh. Provided by the Sloth we love.
www.kickstarter.com/projects/fni...
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Coming soon: Goblins 4: Dead or Alive
The 4th instalment of the Goblins comic series. They're back, they're still failing at life and there's zombies and Cthulhu involved!
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/fnic/goblins-4-dead-or-alive?fbclid=IwY2xjawLzE0tleHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHou4nHOogrmjA4Rt2rvyLXoc9WSVoM-GwM0raJn0o1LjHUsThyC2Mtl-J76l_aem_EcAynjeOFIv7tB9tft3r1g
6 months ago
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The trouble began, as many Hopeless catastrophes seem to, with a pot of tea and a sudden atmospheric shift.
hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/07/22/t...
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The Dead and The Eternal - Hopeless Vendetta
Doctor Pyralia Skant is trouble. That much is clear. But what sort of trouble? And Granny Buckett does not approve. But then again, there's precious little Granny Bucckett does approve of.
https://hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/07/22/the-dead-and-the-eternal
6 months ago
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It was the Monday before Lammas, or Lughnasadh, if you prefer, and the fog that hung around the island of Hopeless had developed an unusual texture.
hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/07/15/t...
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The Woman in White - Hopeless Vendetta
Who is the mysterious stranger? And why are they messing with the island? Does Doc Willoughby have the answer? No, of course not. So what is going on?
https://hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/07/15/the-woman-in-white/
6 months ago
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It was a Tuesday, which everyone agreed was a poor choice of day for anything of significance to happen.
hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/07/08/t...
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The Melancholy of the Moon-Calf - Hopeless Vendetta
Sadness comes to Hopeless, Maine. Not unusual you might remark, but this was a remarkable sort of sadness, powerful and full of melancholy.
https://hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/07/08/the-melancholy-of-the-moon-calf/
7 months ago
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It came as something of a shock to Philomena Bucket when Reggie Upton mentioned, in passing, that it was his birthday.
hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/07/01/g...
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Guess Who’s Coming to Glimmer? - Hopeless Vendetta
A Birthday should be a happy affair, but not for one of Hopeless, Maine's more unique denizens. Can there be a glimmer of hope?
https://hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/07/01/guess-whos-coming-to-glimmer/
7 months ago
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The problem began, as such problems so often do on Hopeless (and indeed, at all points elsewhere, in my experience) with the well-intentioned, but deeply regrettable, act of tidying up.
hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/06/24/c...
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Contagious Poetry - Hopeless Vendetta
A curious disease goes from bad to worse, as the entire island becomes obsessed with verse. Will the islanders ever be free, from this accursed poetry?
https://hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/06/24/contagious-poetry/
7 months ago
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Observations of James Weaslegrease: The upside of melting all the spoons down and remaking them into one large spoon is that it hasn't been stolen by spoonwalkers. The downside is that I can't use it.
7 months ago
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A tale from the Squid and Teapot
hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/06/17/a...
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A Sneeze Before Bedtime - Hopeless Vendetta
A story in which a thing learns an important lesson: never mess with a Night Soil Man, especially if they know Drury, the skeletal dog.
https://hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/06/17/a-sneeze-before-bedtime/
7 months ago
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Observations of James Weaslegrease: There is no spoon.
8 months ago
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A tale from the Squid and Teapot
hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/06/10/d...
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Durosimi Interrupted - Hopeless Vendetta
A thing of horror has returned to Hopeless, Maine, as they often do. This one is particularly abhorrent however, as it interrupts one’s ablutions!
https://hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/06/10/durosimi-interrupted/
8 months ago
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A tale from the Squid and Teapot
hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/06/03/s...
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Something Nasty in the Plumbing - Hopeless Vendetta
Today's post is the tale of a troublesome toilet, or rather the trouble that emerges from a toilet. But who will have the courage to tackle the revolting entity?
https://hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/06/03/something-nasty-in-the-plumbing/
8 months ago
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A tale from the Squid and Teapot
hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/05/27/t...
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The Unmentionables Affair - Hopeless Vendetta
What is happening to the islanders underwear? Why is it mysteriously disappearing? And who is the thief? Is anybody safe? (No, not even Mrs Beaten!)
https://hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/05/27/the-unmentionables-affair/
8 months ago
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A tale from the Squid and Teapot
hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/05/20/t...
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The Weight of Silence - Hopeless Vendetta
The Squid and Teapot is a place on Hopeless, Maine where many troubling tales are laid to rest. This is Reggie Upton's.
https://hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/05/20/the-weight-of-silence/
8 months ago
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A tale from the Squid and Teapot
hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/05/13/a...
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A Glimmer in the Fog - Hopeless Vendetta
What is the connection between the mysteriously menacing Glimmer Man and Victoria's Northwest Frontier? Is Reggie about to find out?
https://hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/05/13/a-glimmer-in-the-fog/
9 months ago
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A tale from the Squid and Teapot
hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/05/06/m...
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Margin of Terror - Hopeless Vendetta
Can Philomena rescue Durosimi? Will Drury be of any help? What are the chances that Durosimi's sanity will stay intact? I'd say they were marginal!
https://hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/05/06/margin-of-terror/
9 months ago
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A tale from the Squid and Teapot
hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/04/29/t...
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The Chemical Wedding of Durosimi O’Stoat - Hopeless Vendetta
Durosimi has been invited to a wedding…in a grimoire…where all is not as it seems. Obviously. This is Hopeless, Maine after all.
https://hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/04/29/the-chemical-wedding-of-durosimi-ostoat/
9 months ago
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A tale from the Squid and Teapot
hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/04/22/l...
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Lucid Dreamers - Hopeless Vendetta
“Well,” said Philomena Bucket, disgustedly, “that was a fat lot of good.” She gazed down at the grimoire, now sitting innocently upon the hastily repurposed altar – which, until a few hours earlier, h...
https://hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/04/22/lucid-dreamers/
9 months ago
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A tale from the Squid and Teapot
hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/04/15/w...
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Well Behaved but Slightly Foxed - Hopeless Vendetta
That cursed book is back! Can Philomena Bucket rescue Durosimi O’Stoat? And perhaps, more importantly, should she?
https://hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/04/15/well-behaved-but-slightly-foxed/
9 months ago
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A tale from the Squid and Teapot
hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/04/08/t...
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The Last Lighthouse Keeper - Hopeless Vendetta
Who was moaning in the storm? Was Drury up to doggy mischief again? And who lost their head over this incident?
https://hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/04/08/the-last-lighthouse-keeper/
10 months ago
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A tale from the Squid and Teapot
hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/04/01/t...
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The Bridegroom - Hopeless Vendetta
A Bridegroom desperately searches for his bride. Will he find her? Who knows, this is Hopeless, Maine after all!
https://hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/04/01/the-bridegroom/
10 months ago
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An excellently titled tale from the Squid and Teapot
hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/03/25/t...
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The Accidental Adventures of Father Stamage’s Hat - Hopeless Vendetta
Father Stamage gets discombobulated as his hat goes on an epic journey. (That's the hat he lives in, by the way.)
https://hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/03/25/the-accidental-adventures-of-father-stamages-hat/
10 months ago
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Observations of James Weaslegrease: I am screaming as I write this.
10 months ago
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A tale from the Squid and Teapot
hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/03/18/a...
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An Uninvited Guest - Hopeless Vendetta
Who is the univited guest? What does he want? Will Reggie of the Squid & Teapot call time on the stranger?
https://hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/03/18/an-uninvited-guest/
10 months ago
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Observations of James Weaslegrease: if you see a bright glow in the water, do not go near it.
11 months ago
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