Scott Perry, 2025: signs Dennis Schroeder, trades away Jonas Valanciunas for Dario Saric. Scott Perry, 2026: Attaches Keon Ellis to dump Schroeder, attaches 2nd Rd pick to dump Saric. What the

I’ll never forgive the Kings for not properly building around Fox and letting him get away.

Phew, thank goodness! The Kings almost accidentally won that one.

What are we doing here

I flick on the Kings game just in time to see Zach LaVine go under on a screen for a 44% 3pt shooter (swish). SMH. Turning this off.

Keon Ellis getting zero minutes in the first half is not a great strategy, imho.

OMG THERE’S A BABY ON THE KINGS HOMECOURT

I don’t care, Austin Reaves is still overrated as hell. If he didn’t have a Laker uniform on he wouldn’t have gotten 18 free throws. And plus he’s playing the Kings.

Light it.

Keon Ellis seems like he’s hated by refs. They don’t give him any benefit of the doubt and reluctant to send him to the line.

Ok I think I’m ok with Drew Eubanks never taking a shot attempt ever again. Like the coach needs to tell him he’s never allowed to shoot unless it’s a dunk.

Zach LaVine is such a good 1st Quarter player…

That block by Malik Monk

Remember when the Kings were up by almost 20 in the first half tho

Yeaaaah I wouldn’t mind if the Sac Kings just traded all the old timers and played the young dudes

I guess the Kings can now sign Russ as new starting power forward

I’ve analyzed the first quarter of this Kings game and they just need to fix only two things: 1) their defense and 2) their offense.

Good lord why are all kings three point attempts by anyone not LaVine such clangers

START DEVELOPING THIS MAN TO BE THE FUTURE STARTING PG POST HASTE STAT YESTERDAY

The most damning thing about the Kings is that Drew Eubanks, who looks like a mediocre scrub on his previous teams, stands out above and beyond for his intensity and hustle when in a Kings jersey.

There’s nothing more constant in the universe than the speed of light and the Sacramento Kings getting dominated on both ends at the 3 point line.

IM TELLING YOU IF JUST 16 WHAT-IF QUESTIONS BREAK RIGHT FOR THE KINGS THIS TEAM WILL BE SHOCKINGLY GOOD AMRITE

I don’t care if he’s only a King for a short time at the end of the day, he’s my all-time favorite King.

The bonus point of this clip is that the context is they’re talking about a Ricky Gervais joke and Maron can barely contain his hate for Gervais.

Howie Mandel defending Trump as not a racist because “he isn’t identified as one” is the dumbest thing I’ve heard in my entire life.

Kinda sucks that my top two favorite current Kings players are also the top two Kings players constantly being talked about being traded away

Luka was already a top 3 player while schlepping around a dad bod so now what when he’s fit Will he stop being a traffic cone on defense tho

Is Nick Kurtz on the trading block yet

how did we as a society let Quick Quack become The Blockbuster of car washes I fear this won’t end well

For DECADES I've been using just hyphens or two hyphens instead of an em dash—I feel so stupid

Lord forgive me but I’m going to be blurting out YELLOW DIAMONDS LOOK LIKE PEE PEE at random intervals for the rest of the year.

I will adopt “crash out” but I refuse to say “bussin”

Building a house on the announcing-Colbert-cancellation-almost-a-whole-ass-year-beforehand-is-an-obvious-gesture-to-trump-to-grease-the-wheels-on-the-Paramount+SkyDance-merger-that-the-govt-is-stalling-right-now theory island.

Like Dame back to Portland I can’t wait for Tyrese Haliburton back to Sac at the end of his career 🥺

Give the 3rd backup PG slot to Nique Clifford. Dude is solid as hell for a rook.

What? Huh? Epstein? Who said somethin’ ‘bout Epstein? You cookin’? Epstein? Man, I don’t know what…

TLOU season 2 getting more Emmy noms than Andor is just another thing wrong with this country.

It appears the Kings roster is just naturally falling into a "two timelines" roster I'm sure this will work out great

Furiously scrolling down to find one—just one would suffice—of this robot dancing Japanese girl moving like a normal person before I lose my goddamn grip on reality.

Why are there so many Quick Quacks like they’re the Blockbuster Video Stores of this era

Maxime Reynaud: 7’-2” Nique Clifford: 6’-6”

Maxime Reynaud: 5 rebounds Nique Clifford: 12 rebounds

Nique Clifford really likes showing up for 4th quarters huh, two games in a row

THE DEVIN CARTER SHOWCASE GAME

random music boomer take i don't understand the appeal of Playboi Carti it's just nonsense gibberish over BASS beats stupid af i'm losing iq points as i listen. lil wayne has aged poorly for me but at least he had jokes and thoughts and sentences.

So many people watch the film Whiplash (2014) and don’t realize that the abuser wins (or at minimum completely validated) at the end and his victim merely snatches a Pyrrhic victory.

ok so Yang Hansen has that (((COURT))) (((VISION)))