I don’t get why those girls say the Queef Sisters are better than Terrance and Phillip. They literally use the same type of joke!

//Just something random, but I'm the only one to headcanon Scott Malkinson having greasy/stinky hair, right?

Hi everyone and Happy Mother’s Day.

Hey guys, we just got back from camping.

My uncle Jimbo's gonna take us fishing today. I prefer that than hunting animals honestly.

Me and the guys will be going on a camping trip next week.

I know I compared Andy to Chef a while back with all the advice he'd give to us, but I also think he's what Cartman could've been like if he was a much more stable person.

Does anyone know what's been going on with Butters today?

{Andy and Wendy along with their friends and the parents of South Park gather at the national park for the Easter egg hunt and are going over the rules}

Happy Easter, everyone!

Where's Butters? I... I need to talk to him.

Why do I need to apologize to Butters for? I don't even remember what I did to him.

Happy birthday, Kenny!

It’s a good thing Cartman already got caught before he could try and frame Andy for burning Butters’ panda plush.

I've never seen Cartman so quiet in my entire life.

So how's Butters doing right now? Is he doing any better?

[he takes off his hat after a while and shakes his hair, still greasy unsurprisingly]

Anyone gonna watch the Super Bowl tonight?

Hey guys. Did I miss anything today?

//I decided to finally make a Cartman RP account on here, so all of the main boys can be together.

Happy new year, everyone! I just hope 2026 wouldn't suck as much as last year.

Hey guys, the end of 2025 is here and I'm trying my best not to get all worked up about it.

Did anyone see Mr. Hankey this Christmas? Kyle told me he saw him.

So did anyone else had a good Christmas yesterday?

Oh, so you and Rebecca are just best friends. Because for a while I thought you two were… something else.

Man, I really need to help Brimmy get over his grandma. Right now, he’s become a complete wreck.

So… do girls actually like video games? I’ve never seen any of them talk about them.

I’m usually one of the few boys who gets on fine with girls, but Estella? I just can’t trust her knowing her story from Pip.

Happy birthday, Wendy! I love you!

Today was my mom's birthday, so we took her out to Faggoncini for dinner.

No offence to Tweek, but when was the last time he brushed his hair? Like does he like having it tangled and shit?

I've just found out about the cause of Rob Reiner's death in the first place and I think I'm traumatized right now.

//I know there's already a Cartman RP account on Bluesky, but I might think about making my own that's actually in character to the show.

PC Principal may not take Christianity seriously and almost tanked its reputation, but I genuinely believe in the religion and why Jesus died for our sins in the first place. Jesus himself may have gone through a pretty rough year, but I'm glad I talked him out of it.

Maybe I should give Satan a Christmas present too. I know he's the Prince of Darkness, but poor guy didn't deserve all the crap he got when he was in the White House. Hell, he even sacrificed himself to save the entire town from ManBearPig last time we saw him.

After everything that has happened this year, I'd say it's time to just leave the president and his administration behind us. I don't think they'd try and sue our town anymore.

I’m finally home!

Seriously, living in a retirement home sucks.

If there's one thing I do know about what Christianity is, it's that they DON'T beat the shit out of Jesus!

I can’t believe we’ve managed to win $5000, thanks to Tolkien.

Does the retirement home even have any heating? If not, I’m surprised my grandpa’s still alive despite possibly getting hypothermia.

Jesus Christ, it’s freezing outside!

Hey, at least Cartman’s back.

Seriously though, I’m not trying to blame Pip for us losing to Denver last night, but does anyone know why he’s been so quiet yesterday? Like, he’s been more distant than usual.

Goddamnit, why’s my hair still oily? I thought I washed myself yesterday.

It kinda feels empty trick or treating without Cartman.

It’s funny to think PC Principal once tried to expel me all because I didn’t let Jesus sit with us at lunch, now he’s been suspended because of what he did last week.

Guys, I think we might’ve been too over-reliant on Andy the past few days.

So did anything happen today?

@humankitekyle.bsky.social 📲: Hello, Kyle? It's me, Stan. You have to come over to my house to talk, it's really urgent! Kenny's there too.