Uh oh. Think I picked up a stomach bug. Flu? WTF?!! I had my flu shot. Prayers please 🙏

Doing some Xmas shopping today. HBU?

Did my laundry Saturday, so hot (potentially bi-curious) neighbor won’t be seeing me today. I can play hard to get too

Happy 4th anniversary to this gem

My new beau has the prettiest ďıck (and knows it). We’re finding a date so I can spend an entire day just serving and worshipping it 😍😍😍

Spent the night at new beau’s place. He’s dreamy. An absolute dream I tell you

Highlight of dinner with new beau and his friends: sneaking into mens room stall so he could inspect my plug

Last night dinner with new beau and his friends was fun. Good call by the new beau on making me wear a b*tt plug. I felt less nervous and so damn naughty

Successfully charmed my new bf’s friends at dinner— and all while plugged, as he instructed

Ever tried inserting a b*tt plug while in the passenger seat of a moving car? It ain’t easy. Ask me how I know

Dinner with new beau tonight. Meeting his friends. Not freaked out at all. NO SIR. NOT. AT. ALL

Dinner with new beau tonight. Meeting a couple of his friends. That’s no big deal, right? 😬

What’s Mamdani’s plan to get more hot, daddy-loving tops in my dms?

Update:

Hosting another faceless anon dıck at lunchtime

Almost every time I look up from my desk today, my hot straight (cocktease) coworker winks and whispers “hi baby” or “hi pretty girl”

My hot straight (cocktease) coworker doing a new thing: Comes up behind my chair, wraps bicep around my neck, squeezes. Runs other hand over my chest. STG it makes me whimper

My hot straight (cocktease) coworker says he can’t concentrate when I’m in the office “looking so pretty” 🫠

WFH. Virtual meetings back to back. Might need to be ⚡️plugged ⚡️to get me through it

You know what? I’m not doing this “standard” time bs. Over it. Boycotting. Moving my clock ahead 1 hour. Fck it

In lobby chatting cheerfully with sexy building maintenance man like he didn’t skull f*ck me half to death this morning

Hot straight (cocktease) coworker back from gym. Bricked hard. Snaking down his thigh like it’s trying to jail break

Hot straight (cocktease) coworker to me jn: “My babygirl looking all happy this morning. I know what thats about” 😏

It’s Monday, queers. Shoulders back, chin up, shake those hips. Let’s show the straights how it’s done

Thank you Dodgers! I’m now a fan for life 🎉🎊🍾🧢⚾️ 🎉🎊🍾

Hot (potentially bi-curious) neighbor looking like a snack in laundry room this morning: sexy stubble, hair tousled, sleepy smile. Damn, he’s so fine

Hot (potentially bi-curious) neighbor in laundry room this morning🙂 Evil gf came with him ☹️

About last night: Got spanked. Wanted it. Needed it. Deserved it. Still feeling it

Got my 🐈‍⬛ beat up so bad last night somebody should report my man to the ASPCA

New bf says if Toronto loses, I’m getting a spanking. I’ve never been this invested in a sports event in my life

Date night with new beau: Apartment cleaned, dinner prepped, bedsheets changed. Showered, exfoliated, moisturized. Downstairs immaculate and fresh as a daisy 🤭

New beau coming over to my place tonight. The anticipation has me positively wet and twitching

Disappointed this month not to see more hot men on here crushing pumpkins with their enormous thighs

I always give the most candy to the kids with hot dads. #Sorrynotsorry (Extra candy if hot dad is in costume)

Removing all the fun-size Milky Ways from the candy bowl before trick-or-treaters arrive

My favorite under-appreciated Halloween candies: tootsie rolls, raisinets, peppermint patties, whoppers, Swedish fish

Might have overdone it at the gym

Did NOT want to go to the gym this morning. Until gym buddy reminded me the two hot bearded brothers would be there

Going to friend’s house in suburbs tomorrow. Handing out candy to all the cute kids and hard cider to all the hot dads 😉

Behold the glorious, camp, fever-dream absurdity of the 1976 Paul Lynde Halloween Special. The pinnacle of 70s American culture

If you look like this, hmu

Paint me like one of your bukkake girls Is this anything?

My apt building manager asked if my evil neighbor was still causing problems. (She’s not). Then said “Have you SEEN her boyfriend? That man is hot”

Noon bļow-n-go back on!! Sexy building maintenance man coming to “check on my new dishwasher.” He had me submit an official work order 🤣😂🤣

My noon bļow-n-go canceled. ☹️. Going to see if my sexy building maintenance man wants a repeat of yesterday 😉

ME: So, same time next week? MY THERAPIST:

This should have done numbers. I’ll workshop it and repost again next autumn

It’s cuffing season. Need a man to cuff me upside the head with his big ole …

It's sweater weather! (Or jumper wumper if you’re British)

My hot (potentially bi-curious) neighbor was not in laundry room this morning. Playing hard to get