L'appel du vide

cw: sui mention [Don't worry I'm too much of a baby to actually do that but...man.] I know this is gonna be hard for people to read, so I'm sorry ahead of time but I need to get it off of my chest. That's what this alt account is for anyway.

Listen buddy, I know Yao Guang is pretty, but exposing yourself to her like that isn't gonna get you any favors 🫣

I want to pick up my pen and my tablet and just draw again but I can't seem to dredge up the inspiration or the willpower to actually do it. And like...it sucks. I've got a lot of things really weighing me down lately and my stupid brain feels broken. I take happy meds, brain!! Where is the happy???

Comparison is the thief of joy and my joy is getting thieved hardcore right now bro 😭 I really wish my brain would let me be like "yo like thousands of people follow you because they dig your body" but it keeps going "okay but see those guys with 100k+ followers and an income from it?" shut upppp!!!

Y'know I would really love to get certain piercings (nips, tongue, a PA lmao) but I'm a weenie toward stuff like that. "But you've got so many tattoos and you've had your ears and lips pierced" shhhhhhhh those are nothing compared to having my nipples and my dick pierced, also needles scare meeee

Man I have got to stop flirting with people who have zero interest in me and also stop assuming that just because I have a mediocre fursuit head that people will be interested lmao, it just ends up making me feel badddddd I need to just be myself tbh, even if that means people will be disinterested

Been really thinking about my "identity" lately. Like...I want to paint my nails, let em grow out a little. I want to get my ears pierced again and wear nice dangly earrings. I want more tattoos, like completely covering my arms. I want to wear cunty clothes and be a hot bitch. -sighs wistfully-