The irony of people in Sam Smiths pubs being the last to find out about this.

I own this opin. Word for word.

Well, that's new. Amazon asking me for a review on an item they've not even managed to deliver yet.

Nothing quite like doing a jigsaw during a heatwave. Is there, Jack? (Jack is playing the old man cat card. Not allowed on tables, not allowed in puzzle boxes, zero fucks given)

Booked train home had no aircon (iykyk) so went to the pub. Then went to another pub. That had 3 for 2 on takeaway cans of some of my favourite imports. Turned into an expensive evening. To top it all, the aircon on this train is shit.

We have an amber heat warning today and tomorrow. It's forecast to be warmer on Friday than either other day. How does that work?

How did we get to the point in this country where, if someone dies, or there's an anniversary of a death, you have to let off fireworks?

Not feeling the "Portugal can win it" vibe.

About time we had a 0-0 #runtheworldcup

You can stop now, Germany. #runtheworldcup

It's World Cup kick-off day, so it must be time to pull on some shoes for the traditional #runtheworldcup effort. Much like the event itself, this looks likely to be a shambles due to the ridiculous number of teams and games involved.

Which local council got the contract to resurface that corner? #f1

Hope no-one has bought tickets for Saturday.

Hope no-one has bought tickets for Saturday.

Cat sitting some of the neighbours foster kittens. I think I may be stuck here forever. Send food.

Received an email to one of my old addresses. It's not a phish by any method I can detect (and I've done the training OH. SO. MANY. TIMES.) Plot twist: It's from HR & Finance Comms with a parliament dot uk noreply address. Extra Plot twist: It's about Information compliance, specifically emails.

It's definitely a good idea to have your ensuite - where the best shower in the house is - replaced on the hottest working day of the year. Also definitely optimal to ensure you have an extra teenager staying at the house at the time.

If any birds, rodents, or very small people would like a shower in this heat, one of my water butts has picked today to spring a leak. DM for address. (is there a more middle-aged statement then "one of my water butts"?)

This chest infection can do one now. Impossible to sleep.

Pugh Pugh Barney McGrew Cuthbert Dibble Grubb

Like a moth to a flame, I've found the only craft beer bar in Kos Town. Up to 60 Greek craft beers (subject to availability). Yamas!

What are we thinking then? Massive, massive scrap right to the end of the season for 5th place, only for Villa to chuck the Europa League final? #thefootball

And... Morecambe are down. An extraordinary roll call of rubes, scammers, cowards, arse-coverers and incompetents have conspired to relegate this fine club three times in four years. Whether it can even survive in its current state must now be in doubt. Another slow handclap for self-regulation.

It's London weekend. Spending the Friday evening investigating a handful of the more out of the way brewery taps. Stating with Mondo in Battersea, which from the outside (and the view across the road) looks like it comes wi h a risk of stabbing.

Been trying to get hold of a locally recommended tree surgeon to deal with the dramatically out of control willow at the front of the house. He's not returning my calls. Thankfully Storm Dave came along and did half the job for him last night.

How early can I start banking miles for #runtheworldcup? 😱

Now, whenever I see videos of animals doing cool things in the wild, I have to wonder if it's real or ai. Are those real wildebeests or is it all fake gnus?

Lol, quite frankly.

Why are the adverts on S4C in English? (for the most part... Saved by a National Grid advert in Welsh at the end)

The world should come with subtitles.

The culling of North Brew Co brands by Kirkstall Brewery is nothing short of a travesty.

Whilst I'm ranting, why can no courier completely deliver a multi-part order any more? Seem to spend my whole life doing the support-bot "my order isn't delivered", "yes it is", "no it isn't" dance.

Campaign starts here to stop Costco being a fucking family day out and turn it back into a shop. Members only. No kids. No guests.

Wonder if my kids are still stalking me here?

State of this. Each one of these ramps is marked up with a different combination of train type and operator. There are no easily identifiable duplicates. This is what 30+ years of fragmented railway procurement leaves you with. Waste on an incredible scale.

When you're in Manchester and you realise all of the Cloudwater birthday beers are on tap *somewhere* nearby, but it's too late to get to them and.... FOMO!

Nothing more annoying than getting up for a stupid early train, then realising you misread the timetable and could have had an extra 15 minutes in bed.

Gone from another great BBC Sport montage to another Premier League technical shambles. Money can't buy you everything.

Slightly giddy that I've raced in an event with someone who participated in #bm100, ngl.

Don't watch much Scottish football, but this Rangers v Hearts match is a cracker.

Well that's the next few days sorted...

Why have we cut away from the speed skating to have a studio discussion? Wtf?

Newcastle, I am in you. Jesmond Dene parkrun first thing. Breakfast at a decent social nearby. Now for the beers, starting with Wylam Brewery Tap. Posh place.

Because I got lost down a rabbit hole yesterday and read this, I think you should too. But probably only if you're in software and have feelings about AI. Batshit. Crazy. steve-yegge.medium.com/welcome-to-g...

Thanks Morrisons. That'll go great in my curry.

If I had a quid for every time one of our fans, or fans of those down the road, demanded "investment" from current or prospective owners, I'd probably be able to afford to buy a football club. Football needs sustainability, and the responsibility for that starts with fans.

Why can't all the traitors obsessives use a hashtag or even the word in their posts so I can mute that boring, pointless, mind numbing bollocks?

So much excitement about Traitors. As an unwitting sharer of the sofa with a viewer, I can feel my brains leaking out due to the stupidity constantly on display. There's no wonder everything has to continually be dumbed down for public consumption

Ah, we're in that period where I get constant* "Bob has reacted to your work anniversary" notifications from LinkedIn. But my work anniversary isn't until 27th. And as far as I can see there's no way to put a "day" field in dates on LinkedIn work experience. * 2. Sometimes 3.

And now I get to find out if my youngest offspring is still stalking me on here by quote posting this 🧵