❝Yeah yeah, bunnies, eggs and all that. Can we skip to the part where we breed?❞

❝Although I already spend every day being irresistibly attractive, It can't hurt to partake in these silly customs.❞ Look at them, sprawled out on sheets almost as soft as their fur, giving you an egregiously generous peek at their form. ❝Well? No need to be shy. Get over here.❞ #SeductiveSunday

❝I was there when they invented Easter, you know?❞

꧁༺ ♡ ༻꧂ ❝ 𝕎𝕒𝕥𝕔𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕣𝕤 𝕘𝕠 𝕓𝕪 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙𝕠𝕦𝕥 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕛𝕦𝕤𝕥. . . 𝔻𝕠𝕖𝕤𝕟’𝕥 𝕗𝕖𝕖𝕝 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕤𝕒𝕞𝕖. ❞ ꧁༺ 𝓢𝓴𝔂𝓵𝓪𝓻 𝓐𝓭𝓪𝓶𝓼 𝔸 𝕝𝕠𝕧𝕒𝕓𝕝𝕖 𝕃𝕦𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕚𝕠 💙 ⇩ 𝕀𝕟𝕗𝕠 𝕚𝕟 𝕣𝕖𝕡𝕝𝕚𝕖𝕤 ⇩

Hypnotizing you with their evil mind powers.

Eh, wouldn't be their first time seducing their way into a royal's good graces. What's the worst that could happen?

✧• ── 𝘚𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘢 𝒅𝒆𝒗𝒊𝒍 , 𝘴𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘢𝘯 𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙡 , ᅠ 𝘴𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘢 𝒘𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏 , 𝘴𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘢 𝙘𝙝𝙞𝙡𝙙 . 𝘚𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘢 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒂𝒄𝒉𝒆 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘩𝘦 ᅠ 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙚𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 , 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘴𝘩𝘦'𝘭𝘭 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘢 𝙨𝙢𝙞𝙡𝙚 . ♪

Gasp, the goat is here. ❝Just got done hibernating, you got anything to eat?❞

❀ ❝𝑫𝒐𝒆𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒑𝒉𝒓𝒂𝒔𝒆 '𝒎𝒆𝒅𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒍 𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒉𝒂𝒑' 𝒑𝒖𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒐𝒇𝒇?❞ ❀

ㅤ 𝘚𝘰 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘧 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘴 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙢𝙚𝙙, 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘴 𝙪𝙣𝙖𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙚𝙙...? ㅤ

❝I miss real romance. The kind where I lounge in an ornate couch while multiple servants tend to me.❞

『🍁』𝐖𝐞 𝐚𝐭 𝐋.𝐄.𝐀.𝐅. 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐮𝐛𝐣𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐬. 𝐓𝐨 𝐟𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐡 𝐞𝐟𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐬, 𝐰𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐝𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐟𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐛𝐲 "𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠" 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐮𝐩𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭. 𝐎𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐮𝐛𝐣𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐢𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭.

> 𝗧𝗛𝗔𝗡𝗞 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗙𝗢𝗥 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗧 𝗜𝗡 𝗣𝗔𝗥𝗧𝗜𝗖𝗜𝗣𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗜𝗡 𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗘𝗫𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗜𝗠𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡. > 𝗣𝗟𝗘𝗔𝗦𝗘 𝗥𝗘𝗩𝗜𝗘𝗪 𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗦 𝗚𝗟𝗢𝗦𝗦𝗔𝗥𝗬 𝗢𝗩𝗘𝗥𝗩𝗜𝗘𝗪 𝗕𝗘𝗙𝗢𝗥𝗘 𝗣𝗥𝗢𝗖𝗘𝗘𝗗𝗜𝗡𝗚. > 𝗟𝗢𝗔𝗗𝗜𝗡𝗚... ~~~ ❝ 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐇𝐚𝐳𝐞𝐥 𝐩𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝, 𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐜𝐞𝐞𝐝. 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐧, 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞, 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐰: ✨ ❝ 𝒰𝓈𝑒 𝓂𝒶𝑔𝒾𝒸, 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒, 𝒜𝐿𝐿 𝒯𝐻𝐸 𝒯𝐼𝑀𝐸! ♡ + ↻ 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝒻𝒶𝓋𝑜𝓇𝒾𝓉𝑒 𝓅𝓁𝒶𝓃𝓉 ℳℐℒℱ?~ ❞

╭──〔❨✧✧❩〕──╮ 𝕻𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐱 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝕱𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 ╰──〔❨✧✧❩〕──╯ ❜ ─ 𝕿𝒉𝒆 𝕴𝒓𝒐𝒏 𝕾𝒆𝒓𝒑𝒆𝒏𝒕 ─ ❛ ≪ ◦ ❖ ◦ ≫

❝That's better. Live and let live y'know?❞ That's rich, coming from a notoriously meddlesome imp.

❝They aren't hurting anybody, quit being a buzzkill.❞

❝Yes, I think that's the point.❞

. . . Hey, how about a steamy round of shower sex? It would be really hot, and there wouldn't be any ulterior motives.

Damn bitch, you live like this?

❝I'm gonna bite you.❞ Chomp, just as prophesied.

Goddamnit- They're chomping down on her thigh, no hesitation! ... It's a real shame their teeth are completely dull and harmless.

. . . She WILL get bitten if she tries.

ᴵ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ʸᵒᵘ ˢᵗʳᵘⁿᵍ ˢᵗʳᵘⁿᵍ ⁱⁿ ᵐʸ ʷᵉᵇ ᴬ ᶜᵃⁿᵈˡᵉ ᵇᵘʳⁿⁱⁿᵍ ˢˡᵒʷˡʸ ᵇʸ ᵗʰᵉ ᵇᵉᵈ ˢʰᵃᵈᵒʷˢ ᵗᵃⁿᵍˡᵉ ˡⁱᵏᵉ ᵃ ᵛⁱⁿᵉ ᶜʳᵃʷˡⁱⁿᵍ ᵘᵖ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖᵒˢᵗˢ ʷⁱᵗʰⁱⁿ ᵒᵘʳ ˢʰʳⁱⁿᵉ

❝What the hell do you mean "put some clothes on"? Can't you SEE I'm already fully clothed?❞ Their definition of "fully" may be a bit unorthodox, but hey, at least they're wearing something this time around.

❝You should get hornier.❞

If you don't manhandle them hard enough to snap off a horn mid-sex, what's even the point?

|| Expect me to be mostly active on weekends for a while. New job and all that, gotta get money.

ᅠ ' 𝘐𝘯 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘭 𝘢 𝒅𝒆𝒎𝒐𝒏 𝒉𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒔 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘥𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘯 𝘢𝘯 𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒍 𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒔 . ' ☆ ᅠ

Surrender all material possessions to the goat.

If you don't manhandle them hard enough to snap off a horn mid-sex, what's even the point?

SNATCHING it out of the air with their teeth. ❝A wishe dechishion.❞ Stop talking with your mouth full-

❝I am going to cast a life-shattering hex on you and your bloodline. Unless you get me a snack.❞

They're a bit self-conscious about their hooves, of all things. Not that they'd let that show, of course.

Hoof gang...

❝Lazing about's part of it, yeah. You'll see.❞ Stretching their arms overhead... Gotta limber up, they haven't done this in a while, and this isn't you average magical break-in. ❝Got it. I'll be there next time you enter.❞ Pagan magic is often strange, inconvenient and finicky, but they make do.

|| Sorry if my writing's garbo rn, work murdered me.

❝I don't need to prove anything to you.❞ A nice attempt, but they're much too wise to take that bait. ... They're taking the bait. ❝Fine. Where's your bedroom?❞

❝Feh, "expand my reach"... I can already be wherever I like, this is useless to me.❞ ... They have no idea what social media is, and they're too proud to admit it.

❝I wouldn't say I'm worn down, just woefully underappreciated. It's hard being this good-looking.❞

❝I should be allowed to stare at people's crotches. You guys are just prudes.❞

Ask nicely.