Donald Trump is still too craven to endorse either John Cornyn or Ken Paxton. Granted, they both are equally odious knaves but you'd think Trump would have the courtesy to stab at least one of them in the back already.

KAsh Patel reads his Senate hearing opening statement like a second grader recites a memorized speech.

The road to disaster is paved with my math skills.

According to the President's published schedule Trump should be at the 4th tee of Executive Time about now.

2 weeks!

"Here are details of the tactics downed pilots and rescuers will use if shot down in your country." Feckin' hell, Trump.

And now begins the fellatio portion of Trump's cabinet meeting.

Mine Droppers?

Has Kristi Noem moved out of the Coast Guard Commandant's house yet?

Pete Hegseth talking about how Iran lies.

US/Israeli/Iranian missiles flying in the Middle East and Donald Trump is vacationing in Mar-A-Lago.

Don Huffines, who once campaigned on term limits, wants to get back to the perks of holding state level office so badly he'll run in every election he can that will get him returned to the Statehouse.

America made up of city-states controlled by corporations sounds like a great idea. I want to live in the city-state governed by the corporation that make M&Ms.

Amazing Nature Fact The shell of the desert tortoise serves to cut down wind resistance as it chases down its prey.

Y'all know me. Know how I earn a livin'. I'll catch this bird for you, but it ain't gonna be easy. Bad fish. Not like going down the pond chasin' bluegills and tommycods. This shark, swallow you whole. Little shakin', little tenderizin', an' down you go.

How are we different from Putin and Ukraine now?

Can Anthony Joshua's next bout be against Jack Doherty?

Y’know, the thing about a shark, he’s got lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll’s eyes. When he comes after ya, he doesn’t seem to be livin’ until he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white, and then – aww, then you hear that terrible high-pitch screamin’

Can the Metric System Foundation give Trump a Peace Prize so we can finally align with the rest of the world on that, too?

Pete Hegseth is a fucking douche.

Praise Donald Trump. Hate Joe Biden. Six words that sum up every Trump cabinet meeting.

@nbcnews.com Stop telling me to "Look at this!"

What are the odds Mike Johnson will have seen or heard the results of the election by press gaggle time tomorrow?

ABC News reports the White House posted AI video of Donald Trump flying a fighter jet but neglects to mention his bombarding the No Kings marchers with shit. How can they justify that editorial decision? @stephruhle.bsky.social @kairyssdal.bsky.social @mattgertz.bsky.social @thedailyshow.com

NBC News cut the video of Jimmy Kimmel's monologue before the part that mocked Donald Trump. That portion is a major consideration in ABC's actions. Cowardice.

I assume CBS will broadcast live all-day coverage of Charlie Kirk's funeral.

And legend has it that, on nights of the full moon, you can still see her showing those American friends around London. www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qmnt...

@nbcnews.com Please inform Tom Llamas I don't need to be told to look at things. I look at things all day and am confident in my mastery of the practice.

What's the current line on the DC Bar election?

You are welcome! Thank you for your attention to this matter!

I rewrote a song...

‪ If Pete Hegseth had organized the Council of Elrond The Lord of the Rings would have been a short story.

Sleep in peace with the knowledge that Mel Gibson can own guns again.

This is how stupid Trump's fundraisers think his supporters are.

$47

Indian PM Modi begins his joint press conference comments with the traditional fellation of Donald Trump.

Donald Trump is selling a flat rectangle of plastic for a minimum price of $47.

Mitch McConnell on 60 Minutes: The Weaseling.

Remember, it's not a cult.

Now that Don jr and Kimberly (portmanteau: Dimberly) are reportedly exploring other options does Kimberly lose her plot at the Trump Bedminster Ex-Wife National Cemetery?

This just in: Nicole McGraw becomes the first Art History major to land a non-barista job.

Trump is doing his handshake thing again. www.youtube.com/watch?v=PS9R...

Has anyone checked on Syria lately?

The Larch.

The phrase "He pissed on the moon" is trending over on the other channel. Was I in a coma when this became an English language idiom?

I too once thought Donald Trump wanted to be the modern Adolph Hitler but when I saw the way Trump spiked his tweets and truths with random capitalization I realized the MSM was manipulating me.

The official DOGE t-shirt. It's more than just a shirt. It's a dessert topping!

Are there any Trump cabinet posts still unfilled?

I received this in an email from the Trump campaign. Remember, MAGA is not a cult.