New From The north bloggerisationism ahoy. keithtopping.blogspot.com/2025/12/the-...

Soon as I get editing Bride of a Vault of Horror out the way (sometime around Xmas week at the current rate), I've got the Stately Telly Topping Manor media sorted out to save me having to watch any actual telly over the festive period. This little lot should keep me occupied up to New Year's Eve.

As it's now the twelfth month of the year and I'm in an 'if you can't beat 'em, join 'em' mood, The Stately Telly Topping Manor decorations and tree are now up. They'll be down long before 5 January. Truth be told, they'll probably be down before Boxing Day.

Christmas lights, Christmas Market ... it's still SODDING NOVEMBER! Testify, Brother Sir Nod (OBE).

From The North bloggerisationism ahoy, dearest fiends. keithtopping.blogspot.com/2025/11/this...

Good book, that Rorret fo Dndlsi by that there Htiek Gnippot. Local author, apparently, even though he sounds like a Johnny Foreigner to me. Note: Correctly addressed, but dumped on the doorstep in the cold and wet then put in the Blue Bin. Well done, Royal Mail, *jolly* well done, there ...

Was at The Keel Row, again. With Young Malcolm. Again. And a fun time was had by all (again).

One of THEM days. Days when several of the things you've ordered which are gonna shatter your fragile bank account into tiny fragments arrive all at once. In life you win some, you lose some. Still I can, at least, write them off against tax as legitimate "business expenses"!

Crass self-aggrandisement and pluggerisation, gross malarkey, shenanigans and tomfoolery. Assorted daftness and other stuff. The usual, in fact. keithtopping.blogspot.com/2025/10/tale...

297,497 words. 263 footnotes. 78 entries (72 British, 6 Johnny Foreigners). 2 essays. Of course, it isn't finished. Now the REAL work starts. Taking probably the next 6 or 7 weeks editing it until it squeals for mercy. But, Bride of a Vault of Horror is now completed to first draft level.

WHY DIDN'T THEY DO THIS SOONER? WHY? WHY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHY???????

From The North bloggerisationism update in the area, dear Bsky fiends. Get it whilst it's hot (or, at least, lukewarm), it may be the last for a bit as I've got this book to write, see (he said, fishing for sympathy ... and sales). keithtopping.blogspot.com/2025/09/you-...

Keith Telly Topping, why are you taking ANOTHER day off from writing your latest world-class tome to meet up with Young Malcolm for an afternoon of food, fun and frivolity? To which, of course, the answer - as usual - is that we both (but, especially me) REALLY DESERVE THIS. Clear now?

The incoming of the latest set of page-proofs for Island of Terror has arrived, hotfoot, from Stately Telos Manor. Ladies, gentlemen, it's been an emotional rip-roaring rollercoaster of a ride.

Island of Terror, page 288. Dr Who & The Daleks. Logic, Let Me Introduce You To This Window section. You're going to buy this book, aren't you? Oh, yes you are. Go on. Go on. Go on.

Bloggerisationism thing ahoy. keithtopping.blogspot.com/2025/08/crac...

Available for pre-order. I've got a growing DVD/Blu-ray collection and a salt and chilli king prawn with curry and boiled rice addiction to support and fund. Plug ends, just buy the fekker, it'd mean a lot to me! Thank you for allowing me into your homes. telos.co.uk/shop/film/is...

Further Stately Telly Topping Manor bloggerisationism shenanigans aboot the hoose. Proving that whilst yer actual isn't free with his words, he is *cheap*. keithtopping.blogspot.com/2025/07/a-pr...

Contract signed - so ... hands up who'd like to see/read this - the 3rd part of the Vault of Horror tetralogy? Because - a likely change of title, notwithstanding - once I write it, you will be able to. On Telos Publishing, sometime in 2026. Latest hideous self-aggrandising plug ends.

Another month, another Stately Telly Topping Manor From The North bloggerisationism update in the area. Full of oldies (but goldies). keithtopping.blogspot.com/2025/07/layi...

Today's "I will not celebrate meaningless milestones" column. From The North's had its 15-millionth page-hit since records began (2006). Meaning, one dear fiend has been visiting the blog for 19 years in the hope of finding porn. Sorry for the numerous bitter disappointments, whomsoever you are.

Is at Amaysia with Young Malcolm Hunter. And, why not?

Today, for Us Dinner at The Stately Telly Topping Manor bait, 咖喱米飯和晶片. Who's with me?

Current Premier League standings according to the FA website. Another disappointing season for Man United and (especially) Spurs, seemingly. Shock first title for Bournemouth, Brentford in the Champions League, Burnley in Europe and Sunderland manage to avoid relegation - who would've guessed?

The Stately Telly Topping motto.

Keepin' it cool(ish) at The Stately Telly Topping Manor.

Want one!

I can't drive. But, for the chance to pilot of Thunderbird 2, I'd consider learning!

The latest news ... From The North keithtopping.blogspot.com/2025/06/dece...

Another blog update From The North. keithtopping.blogspot.com/2025/06/curs...

Bloggerisationism in the area. keithtopping.blogspot.com/2025/06/judg...

Island of Terror editing: Day 1. Your author has reached THIS, significant, point - Pg 242 and a, hopefully thoughtful and intelligent, appreciation of the guest-starring role of Valerie Gearon's knickers in the climactic scene of Invasion. It's a dirty job, but SOMEONE has to do it.

One from the Stately Telly Topping Manor files; circa 1981(ish) so I'd've been 18 or thereabouts. Is this THE campest Mod y'every did see in all yer actual? Check out the eye-liner for a kick-off! Hell, it was the 1980s, strange doings abounded. And the drums never ceased at night.

It's time, now, for the latest From The North bloggerisationism update. And that. keithtopping.blogspot.com/2025/05/the-...

This seems about right.

A NATIONAL EMERGENCY

Surprise replacement bassist announced for forthcoming Slade reunion tour. (That bloody Kermode gets EVERYWHERE!)

Big, broad. massive and hard blog-thing. keithtopping.blogspot.com/2025/05/what...

Just what you need for when you wish to grease up yer own, personal, burglar. Get it in the shops for Christmas it'll make a steal.

Surprise frontrunner in the search for the next Pope emerges. (What, too soon?)

"The Seven Bridges". Taken, in 2008, from out the window of a Douglas Dakota DC-3 which was making its final flight from Newcastle Airport having been in service since the mid-1950s.

Further from The North blog update. keithtopping.blogspot.com/2025/04/the-...

Today's general mood. Particular after one has decided it's 'kin YEARS since one watched AAWIL, go looking for the DVD and discover the reason why it's been 'kin YEARS since one watched it. Because one doesn't actually seem to have it on DVD or, if one ever did one, seemingly, doesn't now. That.

Bloggerisationism thing in the area. keithtopping.blogspot.com/2025/04/ther...

The latest well-naughty stash arriving, hotfoot, in The Stately Telly Topping Manor letter‐box!

The occasional talking both big and small vacuum cleaners to The Stately Telly Topping Manor front-room on a Saturday morning produces the following, diverse, results - Positives: The gaff is now clean, free of dust and looks vaguely presentable for once. Negatives: Me back's KNACKIN'!

Emergency bloggerisationism update in the area. keithtopping.blogspot.com/2025/03/a-ti...

Listen, it's good advice, for sure and, under normal circumstances I'd be positively delighted to comply. But, sorry, today of all days, I'm afraid that ship's already sailed ...

So, funny thing happened ... Woke up this morning (sorry if this sounds like the start of a Muddy Waters lyric) and, guess what, it WASN'T a dream after all, seems we DID actually win the Carabao Cup. Yeah, I was surprised as well. But, it's "official", it's on Wikipedia and everything ...

I was SIX the last time my football club won anything of any consequence. Until today. (I'm now 61. And somewhat tired and emotional ast present!)