Birmingham, Opelika, Mobile, Hattiesburg, Lake Charles, New Orleans, Destin, Tallahassee, Prairieville, Pensacola, Auburn, Huntsville, Chattanooga, Memphis.

Birmingham, Opelika, Mobile, Hattiesburg, Lake Charles, New Orleans, Destin, Tallahassee, Prairieville, Pensacola, Auburn, Huntsville, Chattanooga, Memphis.

DYK the drummer from KISS was named Peter Kiss?

Columbus Ohio this Friday. If you snag tickets today online you can get half a Hamilton off with promo code DANFRIENDS. And if you get tickets tomorrow it's full price. And if you get tickets Saturday you're either a weirdo or you're getting scammed. I hope to see you soon.

Do you use your phone in the bathroom?

Capitalism sucks, right everybody? Here is a bit I don't do anymore that is appropriate for the day. And I hope you enjoy it.

I bet playing DragonForce on Guitar Hero could get you more sex than playing it on real instruments

Capitalism sucks, right everybody? Here is a bit I don't do anymore that is appropriate for the day. And I hope you enjoy it.

A fun joke you can use to roast a witch

Headlining Chipped Ham Comedy in Pittsburgh this Friday night at Helltown Taproom in the Strip District. Come see just how much will this HGH has paid off! Doors at 7:30.

A little comedy about following your heart followed by some light fun goofin

How the Dead Kennedys wrote their songs

A joke about saddles

My face when I read all your very funny posts.

Catherine Keener as Ghislaine Maxwell

Without #music driving would be a lot less fun

Going back in time and calling OSHA on the Warhol factory because everyone is doing drugs and no one is wearing hard hats

I have my publicist prep my elderly grandma for my visit so she knows who I am.

losing my erection every time there's thunder outside

was going too fast and a cop pulled out from behind me and busted all over my lower back :(

Louisville Kentucky I will see you Wednesday night.

Hulk Hogan didn't kill himself.

Important news for Louisville Kentucky

Louisville Kentucky!

on Wednesday 7/30 at 8pm in Louisville i'm going to jump over the Whirling Tiger on a dirtbike

Ever sit down so fast you stub your butt cheeks?

Fourth of July Eve should be a holiday where you do a buncha British shit

Tbh as someone with a frog fetish, I find the idea that they'd change into a beautiful human more of a nightmare than a fairy tale.

each episode of Hot Ones should end with the guest getting pepper sprayed

This is messed up www.instagram.com/reel/DLV-JLy...

Do any of you live in the metro Detroit area? I'll be there next Friday 6/20 headlining the Indy

Comic book movies have been downhill since Chad Kroger wasn't featured on the Spider-Man 2 soundtrack

imma do that bill hicks>alex jones jim morrison>rush limbaugh thing but with Tiny Tim faking his death to become J. Mascis

and they call it "Puppy Love" because "Statutory Beastiality" is too hard to say

what's it called when its like a shotgun house but instead the front door opens directly downwind to the toilet?

some folks are saying that the bed is the new couch

With all these Star Wars movies, shows, and toys, you gotta imagine that George Lucas is doing pretty well money-wise

I'm working on a new invention that is a combination toilet AND urinal.

Bar says you can't take the rest of your beer to go but you can pour it onto your hoodie and suck it out later

Asheville, NC. Savannah, GA. Johns Island, SC. Knoxville, TN. Tuscaloosa, AL. Athens, AL. Auburn, AL. Bham, AL. Florence, AL. Lil Rock, AR 4/23. Springdale, AR. Bentonville, AR. Fayetteville, AR. OKC, OK. Norman, OK. Camden, AR. Tulsa, OK. Wichita, KS. Topeka, KS. Carbondale, IL. STL, MO. Indy, IN.

Getting "LAND MAN!" tattooed on my knuckles so my father in law thinks I'm cool

These young bands these days don't even cover Louie, Louie anymore

hey good morning everyone! i hid the ingredients for a delicious breakfast sandwich in your kitchen, you just have to find them and make it

Frugal life hack: join the military for a free haircut

Louisville, KY 3/20, Pulaski, TN 3/21, Lafayette, IN 3/22, Lou, KY 3/29, Louisville, KY 3/30, Louisville, KY 4/1, Asheville, NC 4/3, Savannah, GA 4/4, Johns Island, SC 4/5, Knoxville, TN 4/6, Tuscaloosa, AL 4/11, Athens, AL 4/12, Auburn, AL 4/16, BHam, AL 4/17, Florence, AL 4/18, Louisville, KY 4/20

They should make spices and flavorings for your genitals

Mastodon fans are going to be real upset when they find out that not only am I the new guitarist/singer, but also i don't know how to play any of the songs :/

At the Frank Lloyd Wright museum interrupting the tour guide to say "enough about these damn houses, tell us about when his brother and him invented planes!"

I like to pull up nude to international borders so the inspectors know I have nothing to hide.