Why the fuck do courier companies try to collect items in the mornings, when you've told them that you're only available in the afternoons - surely they're only wasting their own time and money?

Why the fuck don't doctors actually treat you anymore - no matter what your ailment they just send you for a blood test #I'mNotAFuckingDartboard

Why the fuck do toasters leave part of the toast untouched white, while making other parts cremated black?

Why the fuck does Outlook think that when I click the "Report this message as phishing" button what I want is for them to just move this (dangerous) email into my "Junk Email" folder? I then have to do the exact same process again for it to understand that I want this (dangerous) email deleted. #FFS

Why the fuck do website bots (or automated phone lines) ask you a list of questions, given that the human you eventually get through to always asks you the same damn questions?

Why the fuck do morning people bounce out of bed as soon as the alarm goes off? They should feel shit like the rest of us until they've had a coffee, like God intended.

Why the fuck is Donald Trump literally orange?

Why the fuck do people prefer waiting over two hours for barely-cooked, illness-inducing, BBQ meat rather than using the microwave to cook it properly in minutes?

Why the fuck does my microwave randomly make my food either: a) lukewarm or b) hotter than the surface of the fucking sun?

Why the fuck do companies keep interrupting the hold music (that is there to pacify you) to tell you that you're still on hold (which does the exact opposite of pacifying you)? #FFS

Why the fuck can't pedestrians take responsibility for their own safety, instead of cars being made to drive ever more slowly to cater for those too stupid to use their own eyes?

Why the fuck aren't the makers of heartburn medicine forced to drink their disgusting creation, in the hope that they then might make it slightly less rancid?

Why the fuck is it literally impossible to resist Milk Chocolate Hobnobs?

Why the fuck don't the seals of resealable food packaging ever line up so that you can actually reseal the fucking thing?

Why the fuck do shoelaces randomly untie themselves, and yet when you try to untie them they go into the knot from hell?

Why the fuck does tin foil become utterly useless after being in the fridge for more than two days, given that it is specifically designed to wrap food?

Why the fuck does my printer refuse to print in black and white when only the grey ink cartridge is empty?

Why the fuck is anyone surprised that placing large tariffs on other countries will cause them to reciprocate?

Why the fuck do wasps try to pick a fight with me, given that I'll happily kill every single one of those waspy bastards if I have to?

Why the fuck does whichever sports team I support (THFC/NYY/Miami Dolphins) have to set new records of incompetence by constantly pulling defeat from the jaws of victory?

Why the fuck does anyone think that having billionaires decide on tax cuts for the rich isn't a blatant conflict of interest?

Why the fuck does parcel tracking only give you any information once the parcel has been delivered (i.e. exactly at the point where you no longer care about "tracking")?

Why the fuck does chasing the girl in films lead to romance, whereas in real life it just leads to a restraining order? #AskingForAFriend

Why the fuck do some people struggle to understand the concept of "agree to disagree"?

Why the fuck does the first day of a cold make you feel so bad that you almost lose the will to live? #ManFlu

Why the fuck do people get offended when I say "It looks like a rat" after they've forced me to view their newborn baby photos, given that the damn thing has more hair than I do?

Why the fuck do people who go into the sea whine about sea creatures attacking them, when we do the same to perceived threats to our house?

Why the fuck do celebrities, who voluntarily exchanged their anonymity for fame and fortune, whine about having their photos taken once they have millions in the bank? #QuitYourBitching

Why the fuck aren't ATMs configured to only accept bank cards the correct way round, rather than accepting the card, thinking for ages, and then ejecting the card with a "You inserted your card the wrong way round" message? #ThisIsWhyIKill

Why the fuck would I want to see alligators or crocodiles later or in a while, when seeing them never is a happy stress-free option?

Why the fuck do vegans think that anyone else cares what they eat?

Why the fuck are golf balls attracted to sand and water, but not to hundreds of square metres of lush grass?

Why the fuck do police officers (illegally) object to people (perfectly-legally) filming police stations?

Why the fuck do prisoners get released early for "good behaviour" - shouldn't "bad behaviour" simply result in an additional sentence?

Why the fuck do people who drink too much alcohol one day utterly refuse to blame the alcohol for them feeling bad the next day?

Why the fuck don't the police just search the basement of whichever family member publicly appeals for the child's safe return, since it's always them that did the kidnap/murder?

Why the fuck haven't humans evolved to the point where we can scratch all of our back using just our arms? #NotAskingMuch

Why the fuck is Trump being Putin's little bitch - are the unthinkable rumours that he's been recruited by the KGB actually true?

Why the fuck do energy-saving lightbulbs, that claim to last for ten years, always die after about three years?

Why the fuck do the so-called "good guys" in any conflict have to release hundreds of hostages but the so-called "bad guys" only have to release a few?

Why the fuck does Alexa correctly turn on/off my patio light most of the time, but sometimes has to be told multiple times?

Why the fuck doesn't the collective power of prayer from millions of catholics cure the Pope's illness?

Why the fuck does anyone think that Ukraine shouldn't be involved in the talks to end the war in Ukraine?

Why the fuck is an unelected South African running the USA?

Why the fuck aren't horse riders supposed to clean up their animal's mess from the streets like dog owners are supposed to?

Why the fuck are wasps such angry, evil, nasty bastards?

Why the fuck do company phone lines say "Sorry for the long wait, we're currently experiencing higher than average call volumes" whatever time or day or month you call them?

Why the fuck is it so hard to get seven hours of sleep a night? #tired

Why the fuck are kids so bloody noisy?

Why the fuck are foxes so bloody noisy?