God knows I love Apple but I wish they could find presenters for their WWDC demos that aren’t quite so saccharine 🙄

Really looking forward to seeing this on a future SNL

A long time ago I worked at the CIA in the Counterterrorism Center on Hezbollah. I can tell you with absolute certainty that it never crossed my mind that I might someday hear a President of the United States say he had a call with Hezbollah, which has killed hundreds if not thousands of Americans.

BREAKING NEWS: The Iranians have discovered that midterm elections are approaching

he's negotiating... with himself 😂

It’s so utterly disgusting

All I hear is the adult voices from the Charlie Brown cartoons — “mwah muh mwah wah wah” 😂

The horror movie script practically writes itself 🕷️🕸️😂

this is going to end up with Vanilla Ice and Bret Michaels singing a duet version of "I Did It My Way" and then dropping the mic and flipping off the audience

This is obviously the Royal We and not the collective we

I can’t get over this limousine liberal continuing to run for office because he’s got the money to fund the campaigns despite failing over and over because people see straight through his schtick. It’s like the guy who is the last person at the party because he doesn’t know it’s over.

I’m sorry what

“Alexa, show me something worse than a Tesla Cybertruck.” Alexa:

Pretty sure of what happens next: someone shorts oil stocks on Tuesday and makes a shit ton of money, then the WH pulls the rug on Wednesday (after insiders bet big on oil stocks at the close Tuesday) and we’re back to the status quo ante from last week — stalemate.

NARRATOR: “Time was not on his side in more ways than he was aware.”

FDR: "these men and their hypnotized followers call this a new order. It is not new and it is not order...they believed that democracy, bc of its will to live at peace with its neighbors, could not mobilize its energies even in its own defense...we are thinking in terms of speed and speed now"

no surprises here really but telling the people you're negotiating against that the messaging is really for the rubes back home is a bold strategy, let's see how it works out for him

I don't know about y'all but I'm starting to detect a pattern here

the real question everyone should ask themselves is not, "How did this happen?" but, "How many other schemes like this have not yet been discovered?" or perhaps, "How many will never be discovered?" Remember, these are the same guys that said they'd stop enforcing the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act.

I can't see KSA, Qatar, or any of the other Gulf Arabs being very thrilled about this

Everything is a mix of corruption, incompetence, lies and mean spiritedness. www.nytimes.com/2026/05/20/o...

the fact these fuckers (see also Tillis) miraculously rediscover their backbones within minutes of not having to run for re-election tells you all you need to know about how much real courage they actually have

"Charlie Brown, have you met Lucy and the football?" www.cnbc.com/2026/05/20/o...

If you needed an illustration of how utterly uninformed the foreign policy staff of this administration is on Iran, I present to you Exhibit A:

If you live in California, vote ‘yes” on this, and die in the quake, do your heirs get to collect?

I hesitate to call a career admiral a coward, but let’s just say that repeatedly attempting to push everything into a classified session because you’re embarrassed about what the real answer is and you know you’re under oath, is, at a minimum, “a bad look”

Anyone telling you that these fucksticks are not deliberately trying to wreck the transatlantic alliance is either delusional or disingenuous

My reaction to hearing Orangeface McBonespurs has fucked over Texas Republicans:

today in "I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!"

Oh look it’s 🌮 Time™️ again 😂

“A democracy cannot exist as a permanent form of government. It can only exist until the voters discover that they can vote themselves largesse from the public treasury." - Alexander Fraser Tytler

We are living in a simulation 🤦‍♂️

This seems… important 😳

FIFA is the S.P.E.C.T.R.E. of professional sports

It’s true what they say: Every picture tells a story 😂

I spent like 10 minutes yesterday idly looking on google for motorized blinds bc I was bored and today I am absolutely INUNDATED with ads for said product. At what point do we decide that this type of intrusive surveillance capitalism is too much? There are apparently no guardrails or limits. 🫠

This sounds very principled and courageous until you realize that (a) he voted to confirm Kegseth; and (b) he’s not running for another term

Spotted on a Tesla in Seattle:

We had a good run, folks

Everyone working in the Intelligence Community: 🤨😡😤🤦‍♂️

Wow, wouldn’t it be crazy if the CIA put together a crack team that could secretly get onshore and grab Raul, I feel like I’ve seen this movie before

Kind of shocking that we don’t have a single person on the trip that understands how embarrassing this is, the Chinese are laughing at us

Lmao, Grandpa Shouty hasn’t even heard of Thucydides

This seems like a best case scenario tbh 😂

this is fine dot gif

If they’re trying to push us towards becoming a cashless society, this is a step in the right direction

They definitely seem like they’re on the ropes… 🤔

The solution here seems pretty obvious to me: bomb Pakistan. They have always been faux allies anyway

the WH is flailing around -- suspend gas tax, stop beef tariffs, next they will be sending stimmy checks again to try to bribe people at midterms. they're desperate to unring the inflation bell. They know that in any fair election (note my very deliberate wording) they are cooked at the polls.