I think blind people would make excellent professional dogwalkers. They already have the one dog with them all the time, what's a few more?

I think the post office should figure out how to combine a postage stamp with a dog. It might shed on your desk, but it will lick itself.

New Zealanders (and anyone who cares about arts mentoring who has a few spare bucks), please consider donating to Day One / Hāpai te Haeata in their current fundraiser. www.thearts.co.nz/boosted/proj... #scriptsky #filmsky

Republican economic policy is perfectly understandable when you keep in mind that rich people get richer in bull markets but also get way way richer in recessions.

If we don't want to go to the inconvenience -- and impact on shareholder profits! -- of stopping extinctions, at least we should preserve the last of each species in amber.

Writers and creatives near Auckland, we're about three weeks out from WriteFest and I'm being told it's about 75% sold out. If you're planning on coming, you might not be able to just rock on up on the day, so you prob should buy your tickets soon. www.eventbrite.co.nz/e/auckland-w...

I couldn't care less about apathy.

hey world, let me reiterate, this is a dark time in showbiz: a time that screams for voices of calm, clarity and understanding amid the confusion. sadly, you get us! LISTEN! RATE! REVIEW! SUBSCRIBE! #screenwriting #screenwriter #tv #tvwriting #tvwriter #writer

It me

June's media bias chart adfontesmedia.com/june-website...

Gay Uncle Theory dot gif

If you criminalize drugs, only criminals will have the good drugs. And who wants to buy their drugs from criminals? Not me!

The only good thing about this sinus infection is that I have no sense of taste. Now I can finish off that milk that's been sitting out.

Jocasta was the inaugural MILF.

I grew up in Silicon Valley and started my career in Hollywood. This means two things - I know where on your computer you think you've hidden your really embarrassing porn, and I probably know someone who made that really embarrassing porn.

Tomorrow I'm shooting faux interviews to create a sizzle reel for a potential documentary series. An excellent DoP and nine great performers are coming out at the last minute, eager to be helpful. Creative people are fuckin great. #scriptsky #filmsky

I bet you $4,769.89 you can't guess how much I owe my bookie.

At store with Beautiful Wife. She hands me sunglasses. "Try these on." I do. She shakes her head, says "Mmm. You look like a douchebag."

Something from the vault! #scriptsky #filmsky

My loins are always girded.

What if intrusive thoughts but optimistic

It's very possible that faster-than-light travel is possible, just that we understand it about as well as a dog understands a doorknob.

"Use your imagination, or someone else will use it for you." ~Ronald Sukenick

Ask your doctor if reading this skeet is right for you.

Yesterday I got a show acquired by my country's largest TV station. This morning I signed a option with one of my country's biggest production companies. Now, I'm eating beans and rice. Because I forgot to do the #1 trick for success in the screen industry: having rich parents. #scriptsky

New Zealanders, please join me in protecting the Broadcast Standards Authority. The correct answer to "Some platforms don't follow rules of fairness or truth" is not "Let's get rid of the rules." our.actionstation.org.nz/petitions/do...

PSA

Let’s imagine that someone creates real artificial intelligence, and it’s actually smarter than us. If we asked it “How can we create the best quality of life for the most people?”… …its billionaire owner would shut it down before it could answer.

TOOTSIE is essentially the same movie as AVATAR and DANCES WITH WOLVES. I will not be taking questions at this time. #scriptsky #filmsky

Here is today: wvnl.xyz/hereistoday/

Inside you there are two capybaras

Most people know that the 2nd Sunday in May is Mother's Day. Few know that the 2nd Sunday in August is Unprotected Sex Day.

Does Scotland have its own airline? Does it sound like bagpipes when it flies overhead?

Social experiment: What would happen if we took the habits of being a well-functioning grownup, and rephrased them as life-hacks? Would people do them more? What are your "life hacks that are just being a grownup"?

Lots of governments around the world spend tax dollars to subsidize art and artists. But the more right-wing they are, the less they fund art, because most artists are lefties who don't defend the rich. Righties, I have the answer! Give so much to artists that we get rich! Then we'll defend you!

Hey #scriptsky and #filmsky, I have a literary term on the tip of my tongue... What's the word for the hidden key to a narrative? Like "Eraserhead is about fear of fatherhood" or "The boat in Apoc Now is going back through time" and every loose thread suddenly makes sense. It might be in French?

Six months ago my friend died of asbestos. They still haven't managed to cremate him.

I guess I'm lucky in that lots of fancy expensive food sounds gross to me. Bone marrow and goose liver pate? No thanks, gimme a burger.

I wonder if flotsam ever gets tired of jetsam's shit.

You can't buy happiness, but you can rent to own.

The good thing about having schizophrenia is that I'll always have myselves.

Mainstream movies care more about What? and How? Arthouse movies care more about Who? and Why? What does your movie care about? Does it fit the audience you're going for? #scriptsky #bluesky

I've been called a smarty pants and clever clogs, but no one ever comments on how intelligent my clothing is above the waist.

Happy 50-somethingth birthday to Beautiful Wife, and happy 1-month birthday to her Terminator hip.

Petition to change the names of The Baby Boom Generation and Generation Y to The Fuck Around Generation and The Find Out Generation

How many media executives does it take to change a lightbulb? Ten: nine to delay making a decision, and one to get fired. #scriptsky #filmsky

Yesterday I finally carved out time to go watch TENOR: MY NAME IS PATI and it's a masterpiece. NZers, get to the cinemas while you can. The rest of the world, look for it when it's available. #scriptsky #filmsky www.youtube.com/watch?v=gev6...

Conservatives try to legislate morality. Liberals try to legislate compassion. Both attempts are problematic.

"I'm a philosophy major. That means I can think deep thoughts about being unemployed." ~ Bruce Lee

Veni, vidi, venti latte.