I’ve been watching a bunch of modern “hard crime” thrillers for research. There seems to be a sliding scale of realism, and an entire show’s placement on that scale can be easily estimated by how carefully the characters aim their guns. #scriptsky #filmsky

I’m going to tell you a story about a guy you know. You might have known him when you were in school. You might know him now. He might be part of your family. (a thread about Our Guy)

I think the makers of Goldschlager should also make Silverschlager, for sale in the villages with werewolf problems.

I'm eating butter while drinking scotch. I think I've been lied to by the candy makers all these years.

The next sentence is false. The previous sentence is true. [I hope I just killed all the 'bots following me.]

The silverback gorilla is my spirit animal. Bourbon is my spirit spirit.

I want to do a competition show like Master Chef, but with lawyers. Torts instead of tortes.

You hear a lot about the 7 Deadly Sins, but no one ever talks about the 7 Lively Sins.

Do flat-earthers celebrate New Years?

I took a piss at a urinal next to Danny Boyle. I avoided the temptation to have a peek.

"We put the FUN in film funding!" said no one ever. #scriptsky #filmsky

Insanity is always an option.

Time has shown that Chumbawumba was being less than honest about getting back up again.

Calling out a fascist for taking a hypocritical position is easy. It's also a complete waste of time. Fascist rhetoric is aesthetics— pathos, never logos. You'll never get anywhere pointing out a fascist's hypocrisy. Fascism is not to be debated, it's to be smashed. Get comfortable using power.

"Everyone you will ever meet knows something you don't." ~ Bill Nye

New Zealand mentioned! @scalzi.com

For Christmas I asked for peace and good health for all mankind. Santa called me a commie pinko.

Hey guys. Thanks for all this gold. But I think I'm allergic to either the frankincense or the myrrh.

In honor of Boxing Day, I'm wearing just boxers all day.

Happy birthday (observed) to the middle-eastern Jew who thought we should love our enemies, heal the sick for free, and give all of our money to poor people.

The people who are really eager for a civil war to get rid of all the “mud people, fags, and nerds” are too dumb to realize this: we can decide to be violent but they can’t decide to be smart

If you go for a walk on Christmas Eve, wear a helmet. People die every year from high-velocity reindeer droppings.

So I'm trying to figure out ... Is Santa Claus a socialist, or more of a Big-Brother fascist?

What happens if a naughty child asks for a lump of coal in his stocking? Does that infinite regression destroy Santa's positronic brain?

Merry Christmas! Here's another way to have a virgin birth.

Merry Christmas to all the Christians out there. Merry Newtonmas to all the scientists. Everyone else, I hope you have a nice day too.

Only 365 shopping days til Xmas!

I’m comfortable with the idea of being gender-fluid, and from that I can extrapolate the meaning of gender-solid. But according to the immutable laws of Newtonian physics, that implies the existence of gender-gas.

Santa Claus a mispronunciation of Sinterklaas, a Dutch contraction of Saint Nicholas. Saint Nicholas is the patron saint of pawn brokers.

If your optometrist is also a yogi, can he give you a contact lens for your third eye?

Does Santa Claus count as a demigod in the Christian pantheon?

David Sedaris talks about the Dutch Santa Claus and his retinue of 6-8 black men. www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbJp... Verra funny.

In Movie World, the chances of a plan working are inversely proportional to the amount of confidence the characters have in said plan. #scriptsky #filmsky

I wish all of the internet a very joyous Newtonmas Eve.

Merry Christmas! The day God reminds us that "Thou shalt not commit adultery" doesn't apply to Him.

I have an effervescent personality. It makes other people want to burp.

Mistletoe is the rohypnol of the holiday season.

This holiday season, don't freak out if everything isn't perfect. Relax. Let happenstance be happenstance and go with the flow.

Whenever you start to think you're pretty important in the great scheme of things, watch this. www.youtube.com/watch?v=17jy...

To honor Winter Solstice, I'm dancing naked right now. Which is apparently of some concern to the other people in my office.

MOVIE TRIVIA: Contrary to popular belief, Deckard was not a replicant. However, also contrary to popular belief, Indiana Jones was. #scriptsky #filmsky

TRUE XMAS FACT: One every 100 years, the reindeer get a vacation and Santa's sleigh is pulled by the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Dear screenwriter. There's a difference between "the car brakes" and "the car breaks". Kind of a significant difference, actually. #scriptsky #filmsky

Filmmaker: Because work/life balance is for chumps. #scriptsky #filmsky

Jesus had the ability to turn water into wine. I wonder how this affected Mary when she was nursing him.

Those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. Or walk around naked.