This account contains the archive of my old Twitter account, now no longer in use. My "live" account is @mhoulden.uk. Check the "archived from" date. Despite having a recent date and time some of these former tweets are from 2008 onwards.

Just wondering, do @nationalrailenq or the other rail companies have any plans to open BlueSky accounts?

Been on there for ages https://bsky.app/profile/houlden.org if anyone wants to join me

Archbishop of Canterbury resigns. There are lots of possible replacements, more than a few of whom have been waiting ages for this moment. Long time no see.

"It's not the despair. I can stand the despair. It's the hope." #USElections2024

Remember to be considerate of people working shifts today #Halloween

Would the stuff in #Chemtrails cause steel beams to melt?

If #Threads wasn't bleak enough, I'd recommend When The Wind Blows. It's a cartoon and animated film by Raymond Briggs who also did The Snowman but it's definitely not family viewing for Christmas Day

Shout out to Anne Sellors as the woman who wets herself. By all accounts she was a much-loved local teacher with quite a sense of humour #threads https://www.imdb.com/name/nm1856457/

"Prick" and "Darren Grimes" are trending. It's hard to disagree

I was always told not to post photos of my ID online. This is how not to do it. Some details blurred for obvious reasons

"We will means-test Winter Fuel Payments, focusing assistance on the least well-off pensioners, who are most at risk of fuel poverty." Oh wait, that was the Conservative manifesto in 2017.

Priti Patel drops out of the Conservative Party leadership elections. Four candidates left

Apparently removing pictures from the kids' section of an asylum reception centre is OK, but taking down a portrait of Margaret Thatcher is not. What if there was a kid's picture of Maggie?

Higher education that didn't cost an absolute fortune https://x.com/KnightmareUK/status/1827765492586533142

Guily consciences? https://x.com/GBNewsSpin/status/1825614316596506810

Well, these are certainly all words. ‘None of the information posted or repeated on this account is known by its author to be false, nor intended to stir racial or any hatred of, nor cause psychological or physical harm to, any person or group of people (howsoever identified)’

One thing about watching #SecretsOfTheLondonUnderground with @MrTimDunn is that it gets you to watch out for things. How's this for a clock? Bonus points for identifying where it is

Fair play to @LNER. I've seen similar elsewhere but not on a train

There's a saying: "the solution to pollution is dilution." I've been on Twitter since 2008. It's had its highs and lows, but I'm not going anywhere. Posting nice stuff helps to drown out the edgelords and obnoxious prats

Hi @BritishGasHelp. Just checking that a text from 60184 talking about a problem with my smart meter and asking me to reply to book an engineer isn't actually from you

I'm currently in a field and the real world feels a long way away. But there's nothing patriotic about moronic vandalism or scapegoating innocent people. This Mad Magazine from the 60s got it right

I miss the days when the Silly Season involved skateboarding ducks rather than people trying to foment race riots

Did Tom Tugendhat hire Mark Oaten as his campaign manager? https://www.theguardian.com/politics/article/2024/jul/25/tom-tugendhats-tory-leadership-campaign-mocked-for-turd-acronym

Looks like my email is crowd stricken as well. Deep joy. #CrowdStrike

I'm on the other side of Leeds to Harehills. All I'm going to say is that it makes a change from the traditional summer riot in Halton Moor

Liz Truss continuing to demonstrate that she can be a real butterhead. Why? Cos.

Gareth Southgate and Vaughan Gething resign at the same time. Are they going to swap places?

Misread #loveisland as #HoveIsland, which would be far more entertaining

There's one for @angrypiln and maybe @Visit_Wakefield . Golfer complains about crows stealing his balls. From this collection of photos from 1997 https://www.yorkshireeveningpost.co.uk/retro/37-photos-to-take-you-back-to-wakey-in-1997-4693489?page=2

I think Neil Kinnock will be off George Galloway's Christmas list this year #GeneralElection2024 https://x.com/BBCWalesNews/status/1809167857244106993

I was up for Jacob Rees Mogg #GeneralElection2024

Looking forward to this result @CountBinface #GeneralElection2024

Congrats to @MarkJSewards. I really didn't like Andrea Jenkyns so it was good to have a tiny part in getting her voted out #GeneralElection2024

Suella Braverman's campaign to be next Tory leader starts now. I'm sure that will end well #GeneralElection2024

You'd think Farage would look a bit happier about it #GeneralElection2024

Apologies to any neighbours I just woke up when I laughed at this #portillogeddon #GeneralElection2024

Another strong hat game in Welwyn #GeneralElection2024

Liz Green showing A. Gent Ginners from the MRLP how to wear robes #GeneralElection2024

I think the lawyers advised a cutaway from Neil Kinnock talking about George Galloway #GeneralElection2024

Not so convinced about Neil Kinnock's beard game #GeneralElection2024

Has the BBC camera operator in Clacton been indulging a bit too much at the bar? #GeneralElection2024

Can we say something about the Blyth returning officer's hat? #GeneralElection2024

Nigel Farage in a dingy back street office in Clacton doing constituency work? I can't see him doing that for a full term #GeneralElection2024

Sounds good for Labour. Now let's hope @MarkJSewards wins it for Leeds South West & Morley #GeneralElection2024

Exit poll time... #GeneralElection2024