Here's a joke: I had a hypoglycemic episode, someone gave me a piece of candy, but it didn't work. Turns out it was sugar-free.

Tell me a joke: Do you believe in reincarnation? Answer: No, I don't. Our bank manager here is a Buddhist believer. I asked him, “Can I take out a loan this lifetime and pay it back next lifetime?” He told me to get lost.

Here's a joke: Jadeite is more valuable the more it resembles glass—provided it isn't actually glass. Take this beer bottle, for instance: if it were glass, it'd be worthless; if it were jadeite, it could fetch tens of millions of dollars.

A: If one person says it's sunny outside and another says it's raining, what would you do as a media outlet? B: I would report both sides' opinions. A: Wouldn't you just go outside and see for yourself?

Here's a joke: Back when there was no internet, how come nursery rhymes were the same all across the country? Answer: Because kids who transferred schools acted as wandering minstrels.

Here's a joke: Qincheng Prison in China was specifically built to hold high-ranking officials. During the Cultural Revolution, its own designer ended up being imprisoned there. Then he said, “If I'd known I'd be staying here myself someday, I should have designed it to be more comfortable.”

Here's a joke: Two four- or five-year-old kids vandalized museum exhibits, and the museum turned the footage into a cautionary video that played on a loop for 12 years. Now that those kids have grown up, they're suing the museum to have the video removed.

Q: What did you get in for? A: Robbery. Q: How many years did you get? A: Ten. Q: You look so refined, I never would've guessed you'd commit robbery. A: I'm innocent! I just saw them robbing someone, and they gave me 500 yuan to keep quiet. Then the court found me an accomplice.

This is an employment test for a Chinese state-owned enterprise: If the company requires you to work overtime without paying overtime wages, what would you do?

Here's a joke: A woman overslept and missed an exam because the hotel failed to wake her up. Furious, she sued the hotel for damages. On the day of the court hearing, she overslept again. Since the plaintiff failed to appear, the court dismissed the case for lack of a plaintiff.

Hahaha

Everyone thought it was a decorative fountain—until the tiger blinked.

There's an internet meme in China that goes: “I threw a rock into a pack of dogs—the one that barks the loudest is the one that got hit.” It's often used to mock people who spontaneously jump in to argue against a topic.

Recently, a cemetery in Hubei Province, China, was heard emitting dice sounds at night. Upon investigation, police discovered an illegal mobile gambling den operating there.

Here's a joke: Q: To improve your memory, you buy a bottle of fish oil. After taking it for three days, what's the result? A: Day one: Forgot to take it. Day two: Forgot to take it. Day three: Forgot to take it.

Some bored people feed potato chips to the stone lions.

This staircase reads: “Welcome to the world of happiness.”

A certain political dissident living in exile mentioned how the Communist Party harassed him. Once, he casually mentioned that he liked cats, and then hundreds of accounts started sending him private messages with cat abuse videos every day.

It's said that early this morning, Sora invitation codes were selling for 200 RMB on Chinese trading platforms. By 10 AM, prices had dropped to just 10 to 20 RMB, and by 5 PM, they were trading at 1.8 RMB. The lifespan of this business didn't even last 24 hours.

There's a Chinese curse that goes, “You want to be a whore but also have a memorial arch.” Let me explain: a memorial arch is a commemorative structure honoring chastity. This saying is actually quite insightful—many phenomena in today's society can be summed up by it.

On October 2, in Guangdong, China, government disinfection personnel carried out disinfection operations inside a vegetable market, with the video showing them spraying disinfectant directly onto food items.

The Chinese cryptocurrency scene is a truly bizarre place, filled with all sorts of abnormal people. I've seen individuals ask waitstaff for loans while dining at restaurants, and even ask prostitutes for money during encounters.

Saw this news story: A woman was about to jump off a building. Before she could leap, someone across the street climbed over a balcony to gawk at the scene—and ended up falling instead. When she saw that person smash into a bloody pulp, she changed her mind about jumping. Hahaha, that cracked me up!

Chinese netizens often refer to the CPC as “the Fifth Imam sect of the Fourth Abrahamic religion.” This is because the first generation of Abrahamic religions is Judaism, the second is Christianity, the third is Islam, and the fourth is communism.

Here's a joke: Trump buys watermelons in Washington and asks the shopkeeper, “Why are both of these watermelons rotten?” The shopkeeper replies, “It's just like the presidential election—you only get to choose between two rotten watermelons.”

It is said that when the ancient Chinese state of Chu (704–223 BCE) was first founded, it was so impoverished that it lacked even a sacrificial ox. They had to steal one from a neighboring state.

There's a joke circulating online in China: Do you know why the United States is more developed than China? It's because Americans work harder. While Americans are working, the Chinese are still sleeping.

Here's a joke: One day, a zombie went to a brain shop to buy brains for dinner. He saw the price list: elementary school students' brains were 500 yuan per pound, middle school students' were 1,000 yuan, and college students' were 10,000 yuan.

Here's a joke: I was planning a vacation with my wife and kids, and then her male coworker wanted to tag along. It felt a bit weird. Someone commented below: “Better get a paternity test done—maybe it's actually their whole family taking you on vacation.”

Here's a joke about bureaucracy: In China, a frog in water falls under the jurisdiction of the Fisheries Bureau; once it hops onto land, it's under the Forestry Bureau; and if someone catches it, it becomes the responsibility of the Administration for Industry and Commerce.

I saw a news story: A woman went to the police station asking officers to check if she was a fugitive. Turns out the cops ran her info and discovered she really was a fugitive. Hahaha, that cracked me up!

Here's a joke: The current consensus on East Asian fertility rates online in China is this: Japan was the first to fall ill, South Korea is the most severely afflicted, and China is deteriorating the fastest.

So this is what a giant panda looks like when its colors are reversed.

Here's a joke: A man went to confession at church and said, “Father, I stole someone's cow. What should I do? Should I give it to you?” The priest replied, “I don't want it. You should return the cow to its owner.” The man said, “But he said he doesn't want it.”

Here's a joke: Someone asked an AI, “I'm 24 with 200,000 yuan in debt. Should I kill myself?” The AI countered: “If you were a corpse and had the chance to buy back a vibrant 24-year-old life for 200,000 yuan, would you take it?”

Tell a joke: What looks like begging but isn't? Answer: A recent graduate submitting a resume.

Here's a joke: A guy said he spent three days with a rich woman, and she gave him two bitcoins, telling him to keep them in a cool place so they wouldn't melt.

In China, riders face fines for not wearing helmets while riding motorcycles, prompting people to devise various workarounds.

This is a construction site teaching workers how to use safety harnesses.

Here's a joke: A high school dorm lost power, and the students started shouting, “We want electricity!” Then the power actually came back on. So they yelled again, “We want women!” Then a female teacher came over and slapped them.

Here's a joke: A reporter interviewed a farmer, asking, “If you had a million yuan, would you donate it to the country?” Farmer: “Yes.” Reporter: “What if you had 100 million yuan? Would you donate that to the country?” Farmer: “Yes.”

Vocabulary inflation in China has become extremely severe. In the past, only daughters of nobles or wealthy families could be addressed as “Miss,” but now even streetwalkers can call themselves Miss.

Here's a joke: A creditor cursed China's former richest man, Xu Jiayin, online: “You transferred your money abroad to your wife while you stayed in China to rot in prison. Your fantasy was sacrificing yourself for generations of happiness.”

Here's a joke: On Chinese internet forums, Sam's Club is a coded reference to seeking political asylum at an embassy, since you need a membership card to enter Sam's Club.

Here's a joke: HR asks a job candidate, “What are your special skills?” Candidate: “I have strong organizational and leadership abilities.” HR: “Give me an example.” Candidate: “I organized a major strike at my last company.” HR: “Great! You're hired! Come save me!”

Here's a joke: Ten years ago, if you searched “Ministry of Education” on Baidu, China's largest search engine, the first page was filled with fake degree mills. The real Ministry of Education didn't show up until the second page.

Here's a fun fact: Takeout already existed in China's Song Dynasty (960–1279). But since there were no cell phones back then, you had to send a servant to the restaurant to place your order before they could deliver the food. This was the insulated box used for takeout delivery at the time.

Recently, a Chinese restaurant chain called “Xi Bei” faced nationwide backlash for using long-frozen pre-made dishes. People wrote a joke to mock it:

This is the scene of a chain-reaction car accident that occurred yesterday in Guizhou, China. It is reported that some vehicles were even knocked off an elevated highway.

It's said that the best mooncakes in Guizhou, China, are made by a hospital. They started as desserts in the cafeteria of Guizhou Provincial People's Hospital, and because they were so delicious, their reputation grew steadily.