Nick's a total hero. Albeit a hero who's just shot himself #CelebTraitors

You bastards! #CelebTraitors

Mark's going to be livid

It's quite funny how terrible they are at this. Picking names out of a hat would be more successful #CelebTraitors

"I'm totally taking this seriously". We hadn't noticed, Mark. #CelebTraitors

It's all fun and games until Mark actually does murder someone out of rage #CelebrityTraitors

Potter trying to get a job on the basis he's seen Seventh Seal and Wild Strawberries.

Get the fippedy flip in there! #thefootball

It was whilst on a car journey to Grimsby in 2001 that I heard on the radio that Jack Lemmon had died which was very upsetting and it's that sort of anecdote that ITV missed out on by not letting me co-commentate on the match.

Russell Martin seems like he could be the natural successor to Amorim. Rangers might let him go without any compensation too.

Heartbreaking for the plucky underdogs, nearly a magic comeback from them, but the quality counted in the end to see Grimsby through.

Oti regretting her FPL choices of the Man Utd keeper and the Brentford centre backs.

SOMEONE GIVE MO A HUG RIGHT NOW

Top of the league. STOP THE COUNT

I'd forgotten how exhausting football is.

MO!

Hugo first... something something, variation of the Abbott and Costello Who's on First routine..

I just hate how feckin' AI wants to poke its virtual nose into everything I try to do on my computer. It's like, every time I open my front door, there's a person on the front mat asking if they come in and paint my house. No. Feck off.

Ah, i've missed the total fuckery of VAR

After the sublime Test Series between England and India there is nothing that would get me interested in the Hundred *David Warner gets out cheaply and then an actual fox runs across the outfield* Well, let's not judge too quickly...

Far too stressful for a Sunday

This looks like an episode of Bewitched where Samantha has suddenly used her powers to stop time, move the bat a few feet from Brook's hands and then restarted time, leaving Harry bewildered.

This Test Match is exhausting. Ours to lose when Duckett and Crawley were having fun in first innings, then India massive favourites last nigh with us out of it. Swinging to us today, looking comfortable this afternoon.. and now the sting in the tail with Brook out.

Blimey

Never in doubt..etc.

Fuck. Ing. Hell.

God, imagine losing to England on penalties and then having to endure Sweet Caroline.

My first day as the penalty taking coach seemed to go well etc

Proper penalty that - just twat it .

I can't remember a time before this penalty shoot out.

This is the first match I've seen this tournament. But correlation does not imply causation, right?

The woke mob is making it so hard to be a white man in the workplace these days. So now we've got to remember not to be racist AND to wear pants? Where will it all end?

I do realise that was quite the humble brag too, dropping in that I've been to Home Bargains today. Sorry.

Had a moment of terror in Home Bargains when a lady waved at me and beckoned me over. Didn't recognise her at all, but tried to bluff it out and said "Hi, how have you been?" She wanted me to get something off a high shelf for her.

John Torode, Jonty Rhodes. You've got to have a system

CRICKET

England and Headingley. Excellent. #thecricket

That's what you call a sympathetic amount of additional time.

Well, if you're going to go out of the Champions League, may as well go out to the eventual winners of an almost embarrassingly one-sided final

Nicely done, Spurs. And thank god it didn't go to extra time.

24 hours late, but Italy were robbed (and made me cry), I would have been happy with Estonia, Sweden, Luxembourg, France or Netherlands winning. Nine did, of course. Israel wouldn't have made my top 10, and Austria wouldn't have made my top 20. Strange voting. Ends.

So final day of season do we both have to give each other the guard of honour? How does that work?

Shame for Pep tho

So nervous over the last ten minutes. *breathes*

Wooooop

Satisfying #thefootball

Might give Match of the Day 2 a watch tonight

Losing never great, but losing playing this badly feels worse. Should probably put a fiver on Arsenal for the Premier League if this is us now.

We were so bad in that half. Bit of an out there suggestion, but maybe get someone slightly taller to mark their biggest threat in the air too.

"The thoughts of Wayne Rooney coming up..." *switches off*