“The president’s gone mad.” “Where?” “Downtown.” “When?” “Last night” “Hmm, say, that’s too bad! geneweingarten.substack.com/p/his-schmuc...

Here's the latest headline on the homepage of The Washington Post, the newspaper that feels copy editors are mostly inessential: "These coffee shops prided their role as community hubs. Then tariffs hit."

Anne Frank as covered by Frank Zappa. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/anne-frank...

The Apple Has Rotted. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/the-impend...

So, this is funny. But I mean it. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/warning-no...

My eulogy. Sort of. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/sorry-dick

I wouldn't want to be Mike Wallace, down there in his grave, rolling. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/see-bs-9b7

Why did Daylight Savings Time sneak up unannounced this year?

My final word on The Rashomon Defect and the World Series. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/the-rashom...

Can anyone explain to me why almost everyone is calling the end of game six a "wild play?" Yes, it was an extremely dramatic moment. Everything on the line, etc. But it seems to me to be a normal outfield assist with poor baserunning. Ordinary catch, ordinary throw. Not a close play at second.

I contend Vance committed a Damned Lie. Plus, other nasty observations. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/lies-damne...

What does "pea milk" taste like? Hint: i've given you a clue. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/is-this-th...

The Wapo will not like this post. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/in-ruins

Halloween song parodies: Watch the winning video. It's scary good! geneweingarten.substack.com/p/the-invita...

Scum, All Ye Faithful. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/friends-li...

Anyone else out there kind of sickened by how many pretty common words there are -- particularly in science and medicine -- of which the NYT Spelling Bee seems unaware? Warning: Don't get me started.

The anti-abortion law professor who dotes on Trump was just appointed to sit on a big federal appeals court. Her name is Jennifer Lee Mascott.

Do YOU have thrombotic thrombocytopenic purpura? Maybe these guys can help. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/this-just-...

My girlfriend is taking an acting class in Ibsen. She points out that "Hedda Gabler" would be a great name for a porn star.

The F.U. Protest (It worked.) geneweingarten.substack.com/p/any-questi...

It's Latin, pig. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/beat-it

Hegseth chokes! geneweingarten.substack.com/p/hegseth-an...

The Riyadh Comedy Festival, Cancer Culture, and me. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/who-are-th...

This guy has been doing schtick, right? (I think so.) geneweingarten.substack.com/p/where-have...

On desensitization to violence ... and bugs. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/diogenes-t...

Oh, please, oh, please, oh, please... geneweingarten.substack.com/p/i-have-a-g...

Am I overreacting? geneweingarten.substack.com/p/full-stop?...

Do we really need copy editors? geneweingarten.substack.com/p/you-may-ha...

Is the word "panties" demeaning / diminutizing? (A poll within) geneweingarten.substack.com/p/well-im-no...

Hegseth is the loud drunk in first class who is now flying the plane. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/loud-and-c...

It might be something simpler! geneweingarten.substack.com/p/is-this-tr...

There is a salacious story in here regarding a ham sandwich and illicit sex. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/order-in-t...

I think the answer is yes. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/the-questi...

Wherein I revisit my shame. And my death. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/i-read-it-...

Become a devotee of the Invitational. These people are funny as hell. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/the-invita...

My shocking interview with a Trump enthusiast after the U.N. speech. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/here-lies-...

Wow! Those crazy Democrats! geneweingarten.substack.com/p/wow-just-wow

The stunning fallout from The Rapture and the Dunning-Kruger Effect. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/short-term...

Welcome to the F.U. presidency. Now, F.U. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/oh-man-homan

Have you ever known anyone who consumes beverages the way Rachel and Popeye do? geneweingarten.substack.com/p/you-weirdo

Sorry about the headline. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/goebbels-d...

Had enough yet? geneweingarten.substack.com/p/jimmying-t...

Looking back at history, and ahead to Trump. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/the-fire-t...

I file a lawsuit, too! geneweingarten.substack.com/p/trump-sues...

Is my Civil War Clock set correctly? geneweingarten.substack.com/p/sure-hes-a...

Great inventions that should be here, but aren't. Send us some. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/too-smart-...

please stick around for the video at the end. It is the whole point of this stealth love story. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/registerin...

This is revolting. geneweingarten.substack.com/publish/post...

The continuing saga of Grandpa The Cat, hero & asshole. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/grandpa-th...

This is a good headline. The column is also good. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/speaking-p...