when you have ME, well-meaning relatives send you the latest "full recovery from ME" woo that it'd be awesome to actually believe in. Every time I watch one I wanna make one just as positive and assertive where the trick is killing yrself, but it'd be hard to nail the intended satire tone for that

today in arguing on Facebook: I ratiod someone (not an aggressive conversation, but still a correction) in a comment, so he deleted the comment and reposted it without my response. modern problems etc

something specific to handle with intimate bereavement is how various such memories now only preserve in myself. I now know they were lying holistically but I value private experiences/exchanges, & it's largely stuff nobody else knows, stuff I was awaiting resolution on. guess I can spill to friends

the lack album

just learned of the kibbe system, and, like, objectification disguised as science. I guess there's an argument for having words for different body shapes (at least the slim ones!!!!), still really odd to scrutinise bodies and insist on improvised yins and yangs

damnit, their youtube profile got disabled. I just peered at something bookmarked and nah

must write a riff as dumb as The Importance Of Being Idle

got up earlier and it was horrible. guess I needed more sleep. I hate the dumb lessons of being alive, and that I don't even confront it

just being alive is persistently repulsive

facebook's set me arguing with a very intellectually incompatible/incapable cohort, American pro-lifers. like, there's no dignity to winning here

idea: youtuber who doesn't feel the need to swamp their work with out-of-focus stock music

I didn't share others' upset about 'Dexit', and enthusiastically enjoyed SwSh, Legends Arceus & SV... but after Legends ZA, quite tentative about anything new in Pokémon 2027 release so it's not anytime I can fathom being alive

I think I woke up because the tripod in my dream had 4 legs

I get this notification sometimes and I never find them

tried stepping into town and it's overwhelming and repulsive; there's like some whistle on the wind, the [moderate] daylight is harsh, and I'm too empained to handle stuff. note-to-self that wet times make the outside loud in ways that cause discomfort

so fucking painful just to be

annoying that I was in Manchester at the time Threatin played a gig and I didn't go (I was trying to get into ESTRONS gig but it was sold out. we actually got into that venue quite early, so could've waited around)

hard to think of Pompeii by Bastille without it becoming Tarzan Boy

saw this cropped and thought it was a Michael Jackson PS1 game

always thrown when 'beat' in hip-hop refers to both the beat and the pitches/chords. undermines the once-useful definition of 'beat'

if you're lonely as an alt-rock millennial, remember most of your peers love Johnny Depp and think Courtney killed Kurt so at least you're not communicating with them

never forgive that Bassline Junkie has a terrible, and not funky, bassline

I might have got to the end of cheapskate exploiting of razor subscription services. I'll keep looking and trying but it ain't 2014 any more, like

annoying thing with chronic illness: you get recovery cranks promoted at you, but the nature of chronic illness actually makes recovery cranks slightly (single-digit-percentage) credible

trying hard to make the most horrible thing possible

unprecedented unwellness is just standard

existing alive is so unpleasant

nearing the end of winter and no specific seasonal depression this time I guess. General depression of course, overwhelming pain & I really would prefer to be dead, but that's logical. and lots of heating bills

it's a pain flare-up day. I don't always acknowledge because all existence is excruciating, but today's about killing time and it's mutual

I tried the Skunk Anansie album a few times, took a long break, tried it again... nah, I don't dig this one. brave to change approach like that, but still results in 10 tracks, 38 minutes, intentionally basic and unambitious, dialled-back. Better idea than their prior one but worse result. whatevz

performance www.facebook.com/reel/1394037...

me & the girls

As it was delisted from syndication, I'd never seen the New York Simpsons episode until yestoday. a total treat, to find there's one last piece of golden era Simpsons 👌

me and the girls gon scare the shit out of Nadhim Zahawi by yawning

I constantly forget which one-syllable word is after "broken-hearted" in Mamma Mia (it's "blue") and always assume it's "fucked"

it's still really annoying when he goes into the squeaky misogynistic impression of a 'girl' in Teenage Dirtbag

gotta be a punk protest song about the memetic objectification of goth women [it is not for me to write this. but I kinda did almost that]

I tried some camcorder stuff and, damn, high definition is not friendly to yr chronically ill 30s. I intend to lose weight whenever I get the chance, but also insecure about teeth, hair, skin, pores. If I intended to remain alive I'd be getting Work Done

heh, "Anti-Woke Liberals" and it's just fascists. 'cause, duh.

y'know, I WOULD piss on you if you were on fire :)

please be okay with other people being ignorant [elections happen] maybe not uhh

Facebook page "Hot Takes Nobody Asked For" gets pushed at me a lot. I'm quite irked by their hypersoft fascism: they are courting a reactionary audience via a specific contrivance, soaked in irony, aware of the engagement they're inviting. I really need to get away from post-apocalypse Facebook

most bearable bits life's ever managed were when I've glimpsed having a domestic partner. offer doesn't come around

Messenger Desktop app was quite useful: even when it atrophied to an Edge widget, it was better than launching Facebook. now I have to launch Facebook. sucks

maybe the stupid internet boys who cherrypick to say racism is 'pattern recognition' could try recognising the pattern that inequality causes harm?

I'm genning up to have Japan's 'Ghosts' in my set 'cause it's an obvious powerhouse for my vox & it'd be cool to slow down time in the room I think it's a masterpiece but also that the lyrics are lacking. verse 2 says nothing, & you win by breaking doors? I guess it's inherent to some 80s alt hits,

That argument about "antisemitic" where "Jews aren't the same thing as semites"... & this is coming from a frequent, compulsive etymology stickler 'antisemitic', in most of its intent, means hatred of Jews. I don't much use the word myself. Unpicking others' use doesn't help.

Schitt's Creek, Dawson's Creek, might be time for Alan Davies to get life insurance

oops, I remembered that half my peers think Courtney killed Kurt