paying a $150 copay just to sit on a nice couch and lie about my daily screen time

my attachment style is "closing the laptop violently when someone walks into the room"

currently ignoring my therapist's advice to pursue a side quest that will ruin my life

my object permanence is so bad i forgot i had a personality

experiencing severe transference with the guy at the kebab stand

freud said dreams have deep meaning. what does it mean when i dream about a 2004 nissan altima driving into a swamp

my therapist asked what my goals are and i said "vengeance" and now we have to do a worksheet

i'm not projecting, you just remind me exactly of my own terrible decisions

my inner child is asking for a cigarette and a lawyer

i thought the oedipus complex was a luxury apartment building in miami

i am winning at therapy. my score is huge.

carl jung owes me $40