Wait. Every adult should know this during these trying times

She should have shot him. 🔫

If untrained ICE agents can take the job of TSA, we need to really talk about how necessary TSA is.

Some of these don’t go together

Something you want to hear, go out to the car? And that children is why I hate Capricorns.

It is?

Seeing Dianne Reeves was a spiritual experience. I needed that. 🥹

Making my friends leave me to sip in peace: I’ll call you if I need you.

That’s a cone head. Egg head. Always 4 unfortunate in the face men saying exactly

This man dressed like a ninja turtle (color)

SAVE act directly attacks women’s right to vote. If you support it, I will be calling you by the honorific NAME, does not support women’s right to vote and supports poll tax, TITLE, COMPANY

I’ve never had good sandwiches in Europe. Or good food in the UK. Nothing is the right temperature. Everything was wet.

Jimmy John’s is an affront to god

Me. Did I order my wings? Bartender. Exasperated: yesn

I’ve heard rumors about how Spain does visas.

Being racist, a pedophile, and a rapist seem to go together in new and completely expected ways.

Why are all these 20 something’s at the bar tonight? Where did they come from? I’m a regular and feel geriatric.

Violence?! During women’s history month?

I’m unconvinced I didn’t get spit out into hell.

Nothing pisses me off more than people who do the speed limit on the freeway. Because you did not have to take the freeway for this.

Gas is really $4. Ain’t shit funny and please stop inviting me places.

This is not incorrect

I am going back to my routine of a Friday reset. Deciding if I want to make myself steak or lamb this weekend 🤔

Pitt knows it’s going to raise your blood pressure.

I love all of my friends for making stud photographer jokes. Because cargo pants AND girls. 😔😂

I was told I have a round face but a bobette would look perfect with a money piece. Let me find short bob inspo

Carmel and Fishers??? Troy???

2,400 impressions. 12 clicks. 1 lead. The stress of building a brand image from scratch.

Makes sense for the location

I’ll allow this harmful to me take based on how we got here.

I have to feed you if you come to my house. And don’t you dare start cleaning up!

Shutting the fuck up

A bee. I feel so bad for people who are allergic because what do you mean the thing bringing life to flowers can take you out?

Terrorize menfolk 😏

Picket line

His house.

For fire safety the answer is closed

Coffee

Some of y’all were really born yesterday. Crazy.

My dad after asking where I’m going

My Olympic sport is arriving to a place at an agreed upon time and looking for my plus one like the girl trying to get a meal sponsored.

wtf 😳

The birds hitting theaters adjacent to Gen X being born is not a coincidence.

Women of a certain generation center men in a way I haven’t even considered centering myself. That’s terrifying to me

I wish we had close friends. I have observations and complaints

The desire for freedom to exist on my terms.

I am understanding and willing to hold people accountable, but I am not forgiving. I’m not working on it. I’m willing to work past it. Forgive and forget is not my ministry though.

Do not feel guilty for choosing a life built for you.

Got yelled at for not wearing socks or a coat. I love Black women. 🥹

Trying too young vs too hard.